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Missed miscarriage at 9 plus 4 and I'm a midwife :-(

Well last week I was devastated to learn that I had suffered a missed miscarriage with my first baby :-( i work as a community midwife so it's been a really tough day for me as I returned to work and spent the whole day listening to other people's baby's heart beats wishing my baby was still there. I am very keen to start trying again and hope this time we get our happy ending 💗


  • Oh lolly what an awful situation to find yourself in. Definitely get yourself signed off work for a bit and give yourself time to heal xx

  • Thanks I just thought there would never be a good time to go back as no getting away from it in my profession :-( 💗 hoping we get pregnant again soon x

  • Hey Lolly, im also a midwife (hospital based). I had a mmc (anembryonic) found at 8 weeks.  Had erpc on Sep 29th. Yesterday was my first shift back (I had 2 weeks off and then 2 weeks annual leave prev booked). I do completely understand how you feel. There really is no escaping the whole pregnancy thing! That said, a bit of time away still helped me get my head straighter and gave me time to recover physically so please do consider it. It really doesn't matter that we deal with this sort of thing in our daily job- it's still truly devestating if it happens to you- im really sorry for your loss xxx

  • Oh Lolly1742 and Apricot0904, I'm so sorry to hear about your losses.

    What amazing women you are to turn up at work and deal with other people's pregnancies all day. Hats off to you both!

    I don't know if it's any consolation but, if I could choose my midwife, I'd choose someone like you. You both sound so wise and compassionate.

  • Sorry for your losses ladies I've suffered 4 mcs and its so awful to go through:( you are amazing going back to work and continuing to help others:) I wish you lots of luck on your ttc journeys lots of hugs xxx

  • all these lovely messages habe cheered me up ;-) so thanks ladies. It was my third day back today and I am feeling much more better and hopeful :-) I love my job so much and if anything this experience has made me understand how truely awful it is for women when they undergo a loss of any kind :-( x

  • Thank you for those messages ladies from me as well!

    Am glad it's getting better for you Lolly... you are right that it gives us an even better understanding. Im hoping that it will help improve the care I give and that at least is something positive to come from it all. I really love my job, seeing the joy and miracle of it all- wouldn't give it up for anything!

    If you ever feel the need for a chat, you are always welcome to pm me Lolly xxx

  • On Monday I got referred to have a scan on Tuesday as been having some pains and small amount of brownish discharge..meant to be 9 weeks 4 days and the scan showed 2 sacs one completely not viable and the other only showing approx 4-5 weeks And no heartbeat. Got another scan in 2 weeks to see if anything is happening. Really have no idea what to think,  whether to hope something comes of it or accept that its not gonna be ok  😔 x 

  • Awh lolly1742, I’m a comm midwife too so can understand how hard this must be. Sending lots of love and strength xx 

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