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Feeling very down TTC 6yrs

So my husband and I have been trying to conceive for 6yrs now 2 yrs on our own and 4 yes with fertility clinic we have had enless problems turns out I had a blocked tube and the NHS clinic gave me clomid even after they tested me for a blocked tube which you are not supposed to do so I ended up with an ectopic pregnancy and almost died. I then had 2 more miscarriages. Last year we also tried IVF and we had blasto cyst ..excellent embryos my husband has super sperm according to the doctors and I am very fertile but no one can help us my husband is soo amazing and we are madly on love still but I'm so tired of it all and yet nothing is wrong ...I feel so angry and so sad all at the same time especially today as I have felt the familiar pangs of aunt flow pain coming soon. I am sitting in a towel after a swimming gym session as I thought it would take my mind off the pain I feel but now I am just sitting here typing and crying and people are looking at me but I can't stop crying. I am just feeling really sad today and needed someone to rant thank you for reading this feeling very sorry for myself and need to put on a smile before I go home to the hubby. Night all xx



  • I'm so sorry you're going through this. It must be so hard to go through all that and still try to carry on with normal life. Stay strong. You are doing brilliantly and I am in awe of what you have gone through so cry away. Even super women need some time to let it all out.x

  • Hey pooch2016,

    I can imagine your pain!i also had been dealing with infertility i know how sad and depressing is every month when af shows..bit dont be sure its going to happen for you anytime later in life!you just need to try and keep strong!i know its hard xxxx

  • Thanks so much for your kind words aunt flow did arrive this morning sadly but feeling renued after reading these messages. It's so nice to chat to someone who knows how I feel. So I guess one day at a at time right?

    Thanks again xx


  • Pooch2016,

    Im glad that your feeling better!! :))

    Stay positive!! :) xxxx

  • Ahh you so sweet thank you so much for your kind words. Got to admit it's been a hard few days my heart feels a little broken after aunt flow arrived and is going to need a few days to recover I think but there is always next month as they say. Good luck hon xx

  • Hi pooch  going through the same. We have been trying for 6years too Having breaks in between. We have in explained fertility which is so frustrating!! We do have a 7 year old together so makes it even more annoying because why can't we conceive again? I had a mc in 2010 and since then nothing. 

    we have started using conceive plus fertility gel this month (hoping for a miracle) and someone told me about cassanovmum on another chat. if I don't get a bfp this month I'm going to use that as well (any things worth a try) we have decided to give it 3 months and if nothing happens we will go back to docs. 

    I no it's easy to say but chin up and keep faith cos as long as we have that we have hope Hun x

  • Pooch2016,

    I know how you are feeling because i feel the same right now..4 days ago i tought i was pregnant because i was having chemical pregnancy and 2 days later my af come!andni was so shocked and sad!!i am taking clomid because i dont ovulate on my own is tarted clomid again yesterday and today im at cd2 now and im really trying to stay positive and feel happy of what i have :) xxxx tc hun

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  • Pooch2016 how are you doing??

  • Hi ladies

    Hope you are all well, so all is well after I had a melt down my hubby And I went on holiday in search of a break which was so amazing completely didn't think of anything to do with pregnancy babies or TTC which was a nice treat. Just me my hubby and sun and sea it was really just what I needed. 

    So about 6 months ago I started taking magnesium and vitamin D tablets and AF has changed every month reducing my pain and AF which was 2-3 days is now 6.5 days long so it seems I was magnesium deficient however I still have 1 tube and a backwards uturus ...I think they call it tilted or retroverted so not out of the woods yet but I am feeling much better about view is this ..

    We are not just fertile we are super fertile so that's one massive tick..I am madly in love with my husband ...also a massive tick...we can sleep in on weekends ....two massiuve tick's and we still have some disposable income ...infinity tick's ha ha ha. As youy can tell I found my sense of humour when we went on holiday seems it was in Santorini all along !

    On a more serious note we have a frozen embryo which we will be transferring in the next 3 month's so will keep u posted. 

    Thanks for thinking of me will keep u all in my thoughts comrades in arms😁😁

  • Hey pooch its nice to hear back from you :D and im so glad that you are feeling wonderfull now.stress is the worst thing you can have.i think i will have to go santorini too :p haha im so happy for you.goodluck for your embryo transfer.keep us updated :) and when you want im hear to talk when you want ;) take care ;) xx

  • Thanks Christy, It has taken me a while to build up the courage to put my thoughts down on paper especially to people I dont know, but now that I have done it, I realise how relieved it makes me feel and how grateful I am that I am not the only one who has these issues. I am a firm believer in fate and I do think things happen when they happen but its been many years now and my hubby is the kindest and the most maternal man ever, and all I want to do is give him a son, he did not have his own real father around when he was young, he had a rather miserable step dad and I know he wants to be the best dad ever and my only wish is to be able to give that to him he is my soulmate. Anyway lovely must get on with some work. Thanks for being here for me, you are very kind:)  On another note and not all about me, how are things with you?

  • Hey pooch2016

    How your doing ?im still ttc taking clomid every cycle but still nothing yet :/ 

  • Hello lovely

    So I was a week late his month frustrating but we plod on. Good..o...well Clomid worked for me but the old hospital I was at didn't pick up my blocked tube and I had an ectopic pregnancy so just got one tube now. And then I never went back to the clomid. Wondering now if I should have tried it again. It did take 3 months for my body to get used to it and I had many symptoms but worth it if it works. Good luck hon chat soonx 

  • Hi there, 

    I get what you feel right now...truly i do. 

    Me and my hubby have been together almost only 26 lol, anyway when we got together we never used any form of contraception, i knew i wanted a baby and he did too, i was only 16 when we got together and so after the first couple of years and me still not pregnant i was just like its ok it takes time i guess and im still young.

    It was when i got to about 21/22 and i was like ok 5-6yrs on still not using contraception and im still not pregnant i think i should be worried now. 

    After seeing the family doc as it were, we were referred to a fertiity specialist whom did the only test he could on my husband and when that came back clear and that everything was and is as it should be i was aware the problem lied with me. 

    I had every type of test you can think of to see what the problem was...let me tell you, knowing what the problem is, is easier, that way you can deal with it let it sink in and talk about what to do next to fix it....its when they do all tests possible and still find nothing wrong tht you worry. 

    The only explanation i got was that with my irregular cycles maybe i wasnt ovulatimg every month. I was given a 6month cycle of clomid which even then i couldnt stick to as something was always going wrong, like when they were checking and doing an ultrasound one day to see if they were working, they found a polyp on my fallopian tube opening so i had to stop clomid and have day surgery to remove it, only them to be told when they did surgery it had already come away with my period.

    Not long after all this me and my hubby moved away to be closer to my mum, it was oct 13 i left my stressful job and moved. I took my last clomid pill in Dec 13. I had started the course of clomid in April 13 so shoukd have finished them by sep 13, 

    In feb 14 i fell pregnant much....very much to my suprize, was it the clomid or was it my faith and prayers being answered, i dont know. 

    Nov 14 after a very long 5 day traumatic birth i gave birth to a beautiful healthy 7lbs 6oz baby boy, whom i everyday look at and think how? How did i get so lucky?? Im truly blessed is all i can say.

    I know what you are going through i really do, i know what it feels like, before my son i remember walking down the street and seeing pregnant woman and feeling resentment towards them....i mean how awful is that, it wasnt there fault! But when theres nothing you want more amd you're there thinking why me? It seems the easy option to think that, 

    I feel for you and hope you will get the baby you long for, you are not alone and im here to chat if you like, one day your turn WILL come, 

  • His Ladies 

    Thought I would say hello and to let you know my husband and I have just started our second round of IVF. Just started the Menapor injections which help grow mature follicle's. Will let you know how we get on. Wish us luck. Xx

  • Hoe are you doing pooch2016?im still trying

  • Hi Christy Anne

    Hope you are well. Sadly it didn't work for us started bleeding last week with really bad pain took a few days off work still feeling crap and having my moments of binge junk food eating but getting there! So it seems since my tube removal 3 yrs. Ago I have been having horrific pain that cripple's me every month for the past few months and would have fainted if my husband was not there to give me sugar water and coke so my poor husband is really worried because its not normal it has gotten really bad it basically feels like a miscarriage every month so any way I said I would call this week and make an appointment at my GP a bit nervous about it really but guess I can't go on with this pain and my boss is starting to Wonder what's going on ...hmm not great. So once we can sort this put then next step is a doing some tests and look into private care as my NHS funding is done now. You get two tries at Ivf and then you need to look for help else where. I am quite relieved actually I feel like the NHS did not do any investigation tests and assumed IVF would just work for us! It hasnt and now we do test...a bit backwards really and I know its due to funding issues but still not a great process but it is free so I suppose I should be more greatful!!😁 Anyway enough about me are u doing u feeling on the clomid? Do you have any side affects?

    Have a good week😀

  • Hey pooch im so so sorry to hear that i know how heartbreak you will feel.i wish you the vert best xxx i stopped clomid because i tooked them for 7 months and still didnt conceive and know they are thinking that maybe my partner has low sperm count so he have to test now because my gynae told me that from my side theres nothing wrong..but im tired of trying now :(

  • Wow 7 months is a long time clomid made me go a bit crazy must admit and I had all the side effects in the book not good stuff. I actually fell pregnant on the 3rd month if taking clomid but had an ectopic pregnancy which sucked. Yes was quite devastated last week but over it now got to just forget the bad and try and move on we are wonder woman remember lol well last year we also got to that point and decided to give it a break and then tried again recently. We have had a full year of fun and even decided to go on holiday and learned how to ski ...its amazing we loved it...went to Greece and had a very romantic holiday and did some crazy things we never done before ....had a great is a great way to distract yourself from thinking about it. Well that is a fixable problem there is hope hon I promise for us my husband has super sperm and I am super fertile nothing wrong they say...but obviously not the case. But we soldier on as they say. Anyway hon give yourself a break if you feeling over whelmed this is not easy and you are doing well. Chat soon xx

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