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Obese, Mentally Ill, Possibly Pregnant and Very Very Scared

Hi all. I'm very new here and very sensitive, so please dont be hard on me. I'm at a loss as to who to speak to right now, so I've taken my thoughts to the Internet.

ill start with some background information. Ive struggled with a deteriorating mental illness for the majority of my life. I don't want to dwell too much on that though as its not the important part. What is important however, is that I have struggled with Binge Eating disorder and a Bulimia binge/purge subtype for a large part of my teenage and adult life. This, added with three years of crippling anxiety have rendered me obese, as I've struggled with food and exercise due to my condition. Due to my weight, I have been diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and Polycystic Ovaries and I take Metformin and Gliclazide for those ailments.

I am seeing a Health Trainer now as well as a psychiatrist, I go out to exercise lightly frequently and I'm steadily losing weight.


I've been very stupid I suppose. I was told by my doctor that conception would be difficult, almost impossible even because of my weight. I suppose I took this a little too heavily. Ive always wanted to have a baby, I've felt like doing so is my reason for living. However I know that right now I am in no position to have a healthy pregnancy. But I've been stupidly delusional in assuming I won't get pregnant, and I don't know: I've just had a feeling for so long that maybe having a baby just isn't going to happen. Maybe I'm just not working right.

First off, I've had irregular periods since I started puberty. They've never been normal. When I was at my highest weight and also struggling the most with my mental health, my periods stopped entirely, but then they started coming back slowly. Sometimes I have a period regularly, sometimes I could go about 2 months before having one.

I've not had any kind of bleeding for several months up until the last couple of weeks. It was very light and spotty, and came maybe once every couple of days. I kept thinking I was coming on, and then nothing.

I didn't even think of pregnancy symptoms at first. I have been starting to feel a bit poorly and nauseous now and then, and I've noticed I've had an aversion to some foods I normally crave. Generally I've just felt run down and like everything has hit me at once: feeling sick, excessively lethargic, ear/throat infection. When I started feeling sick I thought it was my blood sugar levels, but they have remained normal.

The spotting happened once again today but it was only very very light. Adding to my symptoms are a bit more (tmi??) discharge down there. I usually remain dry(ish), or at least, what I feel is normal for me. I've also been cramping a lot in my stomach, feeling quite swollen a lot too.

And finally. I did a pregnancy test 2 days ago but it tested negative (with a faint negative line). But I can't help but FEEL pregnant, if that makes sense? I'm going to take another test in the morning.

I guess I'm really just scared. Is there anyone else out there like me, whose had similar issues? I'm terrified of being pregnant with all my ailments, as I'm scared of hurting a baby. I feel so stupid for not taking precautions, but what's done is done. I just want to make sure I have the best advice, if my test comes back positive tomorrow.

Thanks in advance,
Sophie x


  • Hi Sophie! 

    I am really sorry you are having such a hard time..

    I can't relate to your condition but couldn't read and not reply.

    I don't personally think you are pregnant as the test was negative and I really  hope your next test is also negative.

    Take care hun !!

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