Fed up

Well tonight AF came and I'm just so heartbroken.

I had period like pains from around 4dpo for about a week, lower back pain and a few other "symptoms" so totally devastated.

We've been trying for 2 years and 8 long months, this is the first month I started doing ovulation tests and had my positive on the 25th November so felt quite optimistic.

I started my period when I was 11, I still remember being in Maths when the pain hit so went to the toilet and was found a little while later in agony on the floor. My periods have never gotten better and I've even had an ambulance out once it was so bad. The GP I was with thought I might have endometriosis, I went for an internal scan but the told me the only way they really could diagnose it was key hole surgery which at the time I didn't fancy. I've since had a change of heart as would have tried anything and had an appointment booked for another internal scan and would go from there. Before I could make the appointment I had ano abnormal smear and had to have loop treatment so couldn't attend. I'm going to book another appointment after my follow up smear in January.

I really feel like it's just never going to happen and it's tearing me apart inside thinking of my life without my own children.

I just wanted to make a post to get it off my chest as feeling so shitty since AF showed up.

If anyone else is in the same position it would be lovely to chat to someone.

Thanks for reading Kaz xx