Forum home Getting pregnant Conception & fertility problems

Has anyone got a gun

Hi ladies,

I really really need some help.... I have been trying to get pregnant for the best part of a decade, I have failed relationships under my belt (believing that this is the reason why they are past relationships, all exs have kids plural), my partner has already had a little girl from a previous relationship, which is great but still she is not mine..

I constantly feel like I am a failure and have lost myself along with my confidence and am steadily with drawing from my friends because they have started having children...like dominos. Over the years I have openly said how much i have wanting children and told them of my troubles.. always answered with 'im not ready, I don't want them yet' and the conversation would always be changed... now that they are pregnant straight away (not planned) its all babies and showers and cooing over photos...I just feel crap!!!  I feel like its being rammed down my neck. I feel like I don't want to go to things, I feel insanely guilty for how i feel but how can i be happy.....

I went to the doctors time and time again over a space of years pleading with them to send me for fertility help... never once was i sent, I recently got referred to jessops, been for tonnes of tests, then they said i have to have a op to see what the issue is... they said i would have to wait 2 months... now its 6! and thats only for the letter.... i feel like doctors are in control of my life....

i can not see the fairness..... 

can any one share an experience or shed some light on my dark little cloud of a life....

Replies

  • Hi Crystal, i couldn't not reply to you. Honey, you sound really down, are you maybe a bit depressed? I lurk around this forum quite a bit, and i think there are lots of women who feel like you - you're not alone lovely. 

    Maybe go back to you GP and explain how you're feeling (are they understanding?) and how you've been trying to get pregnant for such a long time. Hopefully they might renew their efforts in getting further tests done for you. Also, do you use ovulation test sticks to help pin point when you're ovulating? You can buy them ebay or amazon really cheaply. 

    Just wanted to say again, you're not alone x

  • I couldn't read and run, just want to let you know you are not alone hun and there are so many ladies on here to talk to in the same position as you. Please try and make an appointment with your GP again to voice your concerns, tell him how you feel and that its making you feel really down now. I would second Mrsg14 regarding the ovulation sticks, have you been using them? I would also recommend temping so you can get a real idea of confirmed ovulation date and understand your luteal phase length. Another thing I would recommend that has worked for me is Pre-seed, which is a fertility lubricant.

    I too know the feeling of frustration at people who just seem to fall pregnant at a drop of a hat. Instead of feeling annoyed or down about it, whenever I get negative thoughts I make myself send them a little well wish, something like- I hope she has the most healthy pregnancy and ends up with a beautiful baby and has an easy delivery. Also I've been trying to take my mind off TTC by just putting my thoughts/efforts into other activities. 

    Please chin up, I promise one day you will get your answers, never give up x

  • Hya hun. Go to the doctors and tell them you ate now trying to conceive and tell them to log it. That way if you haven't conceived in a year then the HAVE to investigate further. Secondly it sounds like you are massively down and massively stressed. And as hard as it may sound, you won't fall pregnant if pregnancies all you're thinking about and stressing about. Your body had a way of knowing and and if it feels you're too stressed or depressed for pregnancy then pregnant won't happen. U need to scrap all thoughts of trying and just relax and enjoy having sex. Take the folic acid, do the odd opk and try and get ur mind set to a positive rather than worrying that everyone around u is getting pregnant but u xx

  • Hi Ladies,

    Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. Means a lot thank you. I have tried to be more positive since my last post, I think id fallen into a dark place. i have since held my sister in laws little boy and well wished the other mummies in my friendship group, I have come out from under the rock I have been hiding under.

    I have started with ovulation sticks and hopefully I will finally get my letter about my op soon. I am moving house this week so hopefully all the stress will go away after that. I have taken on board all your advice, To be fair, I knew all ready, sometimes you just need telling.

    The doctors at my surgery are rubbish and really dont care about my well being, I have already told them of my low mood and that I have been trying for years. Just a nother number to them, I have put in a formal complaint but it wont go anywhere. and its just another thing to stress over.

    Feel like i need to sit on a beach with my toes in the sea and just disappear for an afternoon. 

    Thank you again xxx

  • Then do it hun go book yourself a holiday in the sun it may be just what u need x 

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