Naming an Angel Baby?

Hi guys, 

A few weeks ago I found out I had suffered a miscarriage, we're not sure how far along as my periods are irregular but it was early on. Since then, I've been struggling to deal with it, it was all very fast and confusing and a huge shock but I've been looking for ways to find 'closure'. I've thought a lot about naming my angel baby. What are your opinions on that? Has it helped you/someone you know deal with the loss in any way? 

Posts

  • I miscarried at 5/6 weeks and didn’t give a name but that was very early and a shock as we didn’t expect to be pregnant so it all happened in three days. We did find it hard but we went for a walk in the country and talked about how we felt then decided to try seriously and hope for the best.

    A friend of mine miscarried at 10 weeks and didn’t name but the hospital (she had to have surgery) had a joint ceremony for three I think. She said it was nice and has a blessed pebble and she planted a tree in the hospital garden. 

    If you don’t know the sex of the angel it could be hard to choose a suitable name but it isn’t a bad idea if it helps you. Don’t be put off if you want to - grief is private and personal so no one can tell you how to deal with it.

    I like the planting a tree/rose bush idea as its something that will stay with you for a long time and could even plant an evergreen house plant rather than outside? I also like the idea that this would be for you and your other half rather than anyone else’s benefit but I’m very private.

  • When I found out I was pregnant it was a shock as it wasn't planned, Just as we come to terms with it and actually got excited I miscarried. I was only around 5 weeks... the miscarriage it's self was painless and over very quickly. It was very horrible to go through it but was easier not knowing gender and also knowing at that stage it was not an actual baby yet or even had a heartbeat. 

    I do like the idea I'm the comment about about planting a rose bush witu a little angel orniment x

  • I do like the idea In the comment above about planting a rose bush with a little angel ornament x (corrected typos) 

  • I find it really hard to talk to my partner about it, as it happened so fast I think he has chosen to act as though it "never happened".

    Do you ladies have any advice on ways to start a conversation about it?

    I'm unsure if he truly knows how much it has affected me, partly my fault as so far have done my best to try to hide my feelings because I feel as though I will be forcing him to feel the horrible things that I feel. He has dealt with it in a way that helps him cope and I don't want to make him feel as though he should be upset or cause him to feel any pain by bringing it up.

  • I would say I delt with it the same way your partner has, I didn' want to talk about it I just wanted to forget it happened and not get upset about something what was out of my control. My partner on the other hand was like u. He struggled with it and kept asking 101 questions like why did it happen? Which is a question no one can answer. I found my self getting frustrated with him constantly going on Which I felt bad about but it just kept it all fresh in our memory (I probably sound horrible) ... after that we decided to try and we now have a healthy 2month old. 

    Was you trying to get pregnant? If not has this loss made u realise you actually want a baby now? 

    Maybe doing something for the baby like planting something may be what you need for closure. But for him maybe he just needs to forget it as it's horrible to keep almost re-living it. 

  • Hi. I had one last month. I was 7 weeks and already dealing with the loss of my mum last year. I haven't talked to many people about it but I'm still pretty upset about it. Wish that I could talk to other people that understand. I also like the idea of planting something in memory. I know I was only 7 weeks pregnant but I was so happy as baby was very much wanted. I nicknamed baby "Little Bean". Just finding it hard at the moment. My partner blames himself which is silly. Sending you hugs xx

  • I also have my age against me as I'm 42 and running out of time.

  • For me I had a blighted ovum. I had to have the surgery and the surgery center had no special ceremony or anything. So I did give my baby a name (although Doctors explained my baby never really was a baby), but to me, had the "cells" been healthy, I'd have had  human being, so the naming was necessary. Four years to the date of my miscarriage we learned we were expecting again. So when I'm asked how many children we have, I always say 3, including our angel baby. (We successfully delivered a beautiful baby girl nearly 5 years later) Do what you feel is right, and helps you heal. No loss is ever text book, and the experience can be devastating. Heal on your own time. I'd like to respond to the lady in her 40's who commented; I'm in my late 30's and it's not too late. Lots of women are getting pregnant in their 40's now. Don't let your age discourage you. You're only as old as you feel. I hope to have two more children before we call it quits in the baby making department myself. Good luck to all the moms, baby dust to you all. :) 

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