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What to do!?

Hi guys just need to vent a bit. So me and hubby have been ttc for 18 months. I ovulated last April and fell pregnant but miscarried at 10 weeks. The next time I ovulated was January this year. Again I fell pregnant but miscarried very early. Been to see a fertility specialist who wants to do a lap and dye before starting Clomid. The hospital just rang with a surgery appointment in 3 weeks time. But just typical i got positive opks 2 days ago for just over 24 hours so they dont know if I can be booked in. Obviously if I have ovulated and I fall pregnant without surgery or drugs then fantastic but what if I don't get the surgery date and I'm not pregnant or if I do get pregnant and miscarry again. I know 18 months isn't long compared to many people's journey of ttc but I really don't want to go back to the start :( I did say we would use protection until I had the surgery but how could I pass up the chance to get pregnant when I very rarely ovulate and when Clomid isn't guaranteed to work. I just feel conflicted and I don't know what advice I'm expecting here I suppose just a bit of support that I haven't ruined our chances by caving and having sex! Part of me feels guilty that I could now be in the process of sperm meeting egg when it could end in another devastating loss but then I feel very selfish for thinking that way when so many people would kill for a positive opk. Any help ladies? Xx

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