Am I pregnant this time?!

hey everybody I’m new, me and my partner have been trying to conceive for almost a year now and nothing has happened of yet I suffer with PCOS every month I test (obsessive I know) but recently I’ve just got a new job like 2 months ago ive been really occupied with my work so not thought about having A baby at all, every month I don’t have symptoms other that painful breasts (always end up being my period) but for the past few Days I’ve had weird flushes, painful boobs and odd twinges of cramps in the stomach and also feeling really sick anf it lasts about 2-3 hours and fades. I didnt Even think about being pregnant untill my partners mum noticed my boobs had grown LOADS and it got me thinking so I’ve bought a test and usually I’m egar to take the test but this time I’m so scared for some reason and can’t even bring myself to take it has anybody dealt with this I’ve literally just got this feeling it’s going to be positive and I don’t know why I’m scared of that as it’s all I’ve wanted for months