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13 months trying to conceive, giving up hope

Hi all,

I’m new to this but thought may help to talk, me and my husband have been trying to conceive for 13 months, we have had all the tests done at the doctors and all come back fine. I’m giving up hope , as we are doing everything right , so how can everything be fine but I’m still not getting pregnant, it doesn’t make sense to me . Is this happening to anyone else . Each month I feel my heart brakes alittle bit more 😓

Replies

  • Hi BB31 I can totally relate to how you are feeling, we have been properly ttc 11months. Not had any tests yet but looking like we might be heading that way. I'm also feeling apprehensive incase they can't find anything, of course no one wants there to be something wrong but at the same time you want an explanation. What have the docs said to you? Are you still liable for fertility treatment? 

  • Hi Lacey,

    Nice to hear I’m not the only one, it’s so frustrating , i agree I was happy to no there was nothing wrong, but then also kind of sad because now there’s no reason why it’s not happening for us , all we can do is keep trying . 

    we have our next appointment in February , which she says I can be put forward for ivf if I’m not pregnant , she seems to think it will happen and to give it time, which I would like as i don’t really want ivf but I wI’ll if we have to. 

    I keep hoping each month that will be the month, so let’s see. 

    do you track your ovulation ? 

    You should go and have the tests, i did find it quite emotionally draining , but they were really good the doctors were lovely , and it is nice to no they are there to help. 

    Xx

  • Hey ladies dident want to read and run and Wanted to give you some hope I was feeingthe exact same way all the tests no issues etc... after just Under 2 years of trying I feel pregnant I couldent belive it the month before I gave up hope and just decided not to stress or try or it and then low and behold the next month we Was pregnant I honestly do belive in the saying if you want it too much it doesn’t happen and stress doesn’t help. We stopped trying and went on a relaxing holiday and it worked for us I know everyones different but sometimes it just takes longer for some couples. Then after my first I feel pregnant so much quicker with my second and now currenlty pregnancy with our third !!! So don’t give up hope it can happen wishing you all the hope xx

  • Hi I can only offer the same as May1234. I know its the worst thing to hear when you are trying to get pregnant is to relax and not think about it. But the month I went on holidays and forgot all about it is the month I fell pregnant. This was after 2 miscarriages and a round of IUI. Don't give up on it but do try to relax about the whole thing. Book a nice holiday or mini break and put it all to the back of your mind xx

  • Hi nay1234 and sio39, 

    Thank you thats nice to hear , I totally agree with what your saying, my friend it took just under two years so I no we just can’t give up hope, some days are better than others and I’m really positive that it will happen . 

    Mots just the waiting game , i no once we stop trying it will happen, but how do you stop ttying, and how do you stop wanting it so much 😓. 

    Each month I feel less hope and so scared that what if I never get the feeling of been a mum, it doesn’t seem fair . 

    Did you do anything different or just stop trying? I think sometimes I get to obsessed when I no it’s around my ovulation  . 

    Xx

  • Guys its true, I went to my first fertility appnt at the beginning of the week (I have various problems going on at the moment) what I never knew is that our brains are responsible for a lot when we are TTC and releasing signals so we really need to chill out!. Also he said a year for us was absolutely no time at all. If you know when you ovulate roughly and have no known problems, stop tracking and enjoy! Xx

  • i know it’s hard your mind plays tricks on us.

    i just went on holiday with my partner and just did things to take our mind of conciveing i Got so upset it wasent happening I just said to myself what will happen will happen. i was also told when I went for tests that you have to be trying for at least 2 years before they take you seriously.

    i also suggest stop tracking and all of that as it’s just causes more stress and anxiety just have sex regular 3 ish  times a week as I also heard having sex everyday isent that good as having it every other day x

  • thank you girls . I had a chemical pregnancy in November so I think that’s why that let me do the tests , and said if I’m not pregna by next year I can have ivf (which I would rather it happen naturally) 

    i am going to try all you say, we have some little trips booked so will just Enjoy. Also over ovulation we have been having sex everyday . So I think this month we will not try so hard. 

    Thank you girls it does help to talk xx

  • lovely to read these comments, I'm glad they are still offering IVF to you bb31. I agree though how do you relax when you want something so bad. I've been on two relaxing holidays this year and the most recent I switched off from ttc completely but still nothing! My husband and I have agreed to seek help at the end of the year of nothing has happened before. I'm drained already so hoping we don't have to go down any fertility route! 

  • Lacey I’m sure it will all work out for both of us . We dod exactly the same been on two holidays tried to chill not try , and even had a few drinks but nothing at all. It’s so hard to tell yourself not to try. Even more annoying when you no there’s nothing wrong 😓 xx

  • Yes we can't lose hope! The journey will all be worth while I'm sure! 

  • Let’s hope so.. all the good things are worth waiting for , 

    I hope it works out for you, it’s not a fun waiting game. 

    💗. 

  • I didn't actually do anything different. We literally went on honeymoon, ate and drank rings around ourselves and just enjoyed the time away. It was in the back of my mind that I was due to ovulate whilst away but I tried not to think about it that much. I agree with the stop tracking also, because it can say you are due to ovulate on a certain day but you know it could be days before or after, you won't know for sure.

    it is such a hard thing though to try and relax and not think about it. I was constantly thinking its never going to happen. Plus I was 41 so really felt time was running out. you do have to believe though that it will happen but accept that it might not be as quick as you thought it would. it use to drive me mad if I heard about someone going out, having a one night stand and the next thing they are pregnant. when you are tracking cycles you are like how is that even possible lol

  • Sio39 thank you, I am going to stop tracking, and your right I do believe it will happen I just have to accept it won’t happen as quick as I would have liked . Ive just turned 31 so hopefully I have time . 

    Its very hard to stop wanting it so much , and like you say when people have one night stands , I don’t understand how it happens. 

    We have been together for a long time , lovely home, and I believe we could give a baby a lovely life, but when it does happen it will be worth the wait 💗 xx

  • Hi,

    We were trying for longer, and when I said ok, I will not write down my periods, and I will forget about it, then I got pregnant, and was pregnant 2 months, and I didn't even know. It was so dissapointing buying tests that come negative t, or getting periods...now I have a 4 month old girl :)  DON'T GIVE UP,JUST RELAX, AND IT IS GONNA HAPPEN!!! DON'T THINK ABOUT IT, ENJOY OTHER THINGS, AND DON'T HAVE SEX JUST TO CONCEIVE,ENJOY WITH YOUR HUSBAND. As well, I was 34 when got pregnant, so lifting legs up the wall after sex helped! 

    GOOD LUCK image

  • That’s good to no thank you. How long had you been trying? 

    I am defiantly going to do that this month, every  month I can’t cope with the disappointment , I really need to focus on other things . And I no one day I’ll get a beautiful surprise . 

    congratulations on your beautiful little girl 😍. 

  • Thank you! We were trying for more than 1.5 years,so I realised that you shouldn't be tense,or even think about it. I already taught one of us was not fertile. My partner was 38 then. I accidently found out I was pregnant going to hospital for asthma inhaler. Until then I was monitoring my fertile days and all,but nothing was happening. Don't do that,and when you will not hope,it will happen,don't worry :) I am sure it will. :) You will see,just be positive,and enjoy life. Do not stress over that please !

  • Thank you. I’m glad it worked out for you. And I will defiantly try my best, we are just trying to do lots of nice things to take our mind of it. 

    Xxx

  • Hey, I’m in the same situation. :( draining. what sort of tests do they do at the doctors if i was to go? image Xx

  • Hi kiimmii91, 

    It is so draining, we have been trying to take our mind off it this month and focus on other things instead of when we will have a baby. Not easy to do. 

    The tests a had was a day 2-5 blood test to check hormone levels, 

    a day 21 blood test to confirm ovulation. 

    I had a HSG X-ray which they insert dye Into the wobm while doing an X-ray to check for blockages etc. 

    And lastly i had an ultrasound scan. 

    All were totally fine, just mentally draining 😓. 

    How long have you been trying? 

    Xx

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