Forum home Getting pregnant Conception & fertility problems

What is the right answer

Hi, 

I am after some advise!!! 

I am a newly wed that had a miscarriage at 10 weeks.  Just 4 weeks before the big day. We had agreed at the time to wait the recommend time before starting to try again.

This month I was excited to try again however my husband has now said he wants to wait because his sister is getting married abroad and he wants me at the wedding with him.  If I was pregnant at the time I couldn't travel because they have the zina virus there. This would also mean waiting a further 3/4 months after we return before we could even try again.

I have since found out that he would like to try again but his sister has caused him issues and that's now why he doesn't want to because I wouldn't be at the wedding if we did. (I'm not stopping him going)

I am 35 now which means by the time I would be trying again I would be almost 37. 

Am I being unreasonable with wanting to try and not go to the wedding?

I have already had 2 miscarriages 10 years apart. And I have wanted a baby for longer then that. 

Do I crack on and try and risk being outcast by my new family or do I wait with a broken heart which at my age might cause further issues.

Replies

  • Hello,

    Just my opinion buy I think you should do what's right for you and no one else would she wait if it was her? She is still going to get married and bridezillas will go away unlike regret and a broken heart.

    Seriously talk to your husband thinks your family not hers and I don't think anyone should do what others want outside the couple. At the end of the day she will be an auntie and I don't believe would hold that against anyone truly. 

    I can understand why your husband wants to be there for his sister but likewise it is a big selfish ask and where is she being there for him. If she was asked to postpone her wedding till after you had a baby would she?

    Sorry about being so frank again like I say I don't know your family so just my opinion. Xx good luck 

  • I agree totally with Luna baby.

    You need to think of yourself first. Your own little family come first. How would you feel if you reached 37, started trying and (38) you realised you had problems getting pregnant, not to be cruel but that's when things start to go wrong with some people and they regret leaving starting a family so late. Even if you have to, do it secretly if you really want it that much. And hopefully few months time, ooops your pregnant. Nothing can be done then can it. Like Luna said, would she postpone her wedding until you had a baby, I think not!!! So go get BD'ing!!! Lol. Good luck to you. X

  • Thank you for your feedback still under discussion.  

    It's hard because I agree with you but my husband has been given this issue from his family. 

    🙁 BH

Sign In or Register to comment.