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Struggling...need some hope!

Hi lovely ladies,

Hope you are all well. I need some hope!

13 DPO today BFN. I know its early, AF expected tomorrow. I'm just getting so down and deflated every month when I'm doing everything I can and yet friends around me who don't even try seem to be getting pregnant at the drop of a hat. It is making be feel so frustrated and upset that I am having to avoid those friends. 

Had blood tests for hormones which are apparently all normal. Waiting for a scan referral. OH got referred for a semen test but the hospital say they cant fit him in until August next year?! (WTF?!?!).

I just want an answer as to whether I will ever be able to have a baby or not. I have had this feeling for as long as I can remember that I wont be able to have children - it is the one and only thing I have ever really wanted in life. It feels like more than just a feeling, more like an instinct that I just know is right. 

I know it sounds inpatient but I am just so ready now for a baby (I have been ready for a LONG time).

Any positive stories or hope you can give would be much appreciated! I such a hopeless dead end place at the moment 😢
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