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How to get through the disappointment....

So me and my partner have been TTC for 7 months with no luck and I know in the grand scheme of things that’s no time at all. I feel for everyone in the same position or for those who have waited years. I am currently awaiting AF and have a feeling she is on her way again.. it’s that feeling of total disappointment that gets me. I have long cycles of around 35-38 days and I usually ovulate around day 22-24. I think I get so disappointed because I know it’s such a long time until I’ll know again.. I’ve bought some soy isoflavones for next month if this month is unsuccessful as I’ve heard really good things. 

Do you all have any tips for dealing with the sadness and disappointment that AF brings every month? 



  • Ugh I wish I had some words for you but I don’t. I cry a lot. It’s literally all I think about. I don’t have any kids and was pregnant in December but lost it which was torture and I’m 34 and feel like it’s never gonna happen. Do you have any kids 
  • @Summer08 that’s so sad, I’m sorry to hear that. I have no kids no, I believe we had a chemical back in September but nothing since then and even that was a maybe, a lot of unanswered questions. I feel like I have to pick myself up and smile and carry and look forward to next month but it is hard, I’m 26 and this would be our first. I worry with longer cycles whether I would have issues. Have you heard of/tried soy isoflavones? 

  • No I haven’t gave you used them? 
  • Hi ladies. Also looking for some coping mechanisms. I am now in cycle 12 of ttc number 3. It is hitting me harder and harder every month and I feel like it will never happen. Everywhere I look I see pregnancy and I am absolutely desperate for it to be me. Conceived the first month with our first two and now this one is into month 12.
  • @FlossyLZ I battle with this too... I’m currently TTC no. 2 with 3 years of trying behind me, recurring miscarriages and time rapidly running out (I’m 42).  It’s hard not to wallow in the misery and disappointment.  But what has helped me a little is focusing on improving my diet and fitness (it takes my mind off things and the endorphins are wonderful, as are the many other benefits!), my daughter and the development and enrichment of her ridiculously bright spirit (she’s good for her low mood mama!), and also trying to put my woes into perspective.  I began following a couple of IG accounts.  One is a woman who has been suffering with a rare form of terminal cancer for the past 6 years.  The things she has been through and overcome, have been phenomenal.  She is a mum who knows she won’t live to see her little girl grow up.  She has faced operation after operation, with ever increasing pain and feelings of suffocation as her lung capacity dwindles.  Pre-cancer diagnosis, she had to very suddenly abort her 2nd (healthy) pregnancy at 18 weeks due to complications, which meant if she’d continued the pregnancy, BOTH mother and baby would have died... there is so much more to her story.  But just those tiny fragments of her monumental struggle make me realise how sodding fortunate I am to have my health, and my gorgeous little girl and OH. It doesn’t take away the pain and yearning to be pregnant again... but you’ve got to somehow remind yourself of all the wonderful things you do have, and don’t squander years of happiness to useless depression.  ...Easier said than done, I know! One last note, CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy, you can do it online!) has also been helpful to me in the fight against depression.  You realise the tremendous power of your thoughts over your physical and emotional well-being, and learn tools to control them.  X
  • @KiwiMoomin thank you for your reply. You are right. It is all too easy to get caught up in the cycle off ttc disappointment. I am trying to busy myself with other things. I have recently started yoga which really helps me de-stress (as well as show me how weak my arms are 😊). 

  • Also struggling with the same disappointment, me and ny partner have been trying for 7 years almost, we have no kids and he is 29 and im 26, i fell pregnant for the first time last year and was overjoyed but miscarried at 5 weeks.
    i suffer from depression and anxiety and have since i was 15 so i find it really hard to deal with the disappointment and month after month of negative tests, were currently on the list for fertility tests but things seem to be going slow, i have this paranoia that the miscarriage messed something up and my upset each month when i receive a negative is starting to put a strain on my usually great relationship, so if anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated and if anyone who has posted already finally has some luck id love to hear about it, thanks
  • Hope im not banging on and irritating anyone but thought id give an update, im 5 says from my period being due and took a test, it came back negative, ive been a wreck all day, my partners trying to be supportive in his own way but hes not the type to be outwardly emotional so im finding it tough, i know hes upset too but it just never seems like it and that bothers me, hoping maybe i tested too early as they were asda brand tests, dreading the 5 day wait to see if my period turns up or if i can test again, anyway fingers crossed for all you other ladies
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