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would u ever??? possible debate !
hi ladies , well i have just been reading one of my pregnancy mags in the bath and there was a story about someone who had become a surrogate for someone else that they previously didnt know .......would anyone ever become /has been a surrogate for someone else .??would it have to be someone u knew or didnt know?? would u donate your eggs for someone???
i dont think i could be a surrogate as i think id get to close to the baby growing inside me but i think i could probably donate my eggs to a lady who couldnt produce her own ....is this the same as being a surrogate or different?
i just thought i would ask since its in my mind andits quite a debateable subject .......i cant imagine my life without my son and my new lo and i cant imagine how it must feel to be told that u cant have kids ,im only 25 in good health so would love to know im helping another couple fulfill there dreams by donating eggs but not sure how i would feel about biologically havin a child out there that isnt really mine if that makes sence! .................
lisa 36&3 xxxxxxxxxxxxx
i dont think i could be a surrogate as i think id get to close to the baby growing inside me but i think i could probably donate my eggs to a lady who couldnt produce her own ....is this the same as being a surrogate or different?
i just thought i would ask since its in my mind andits quite a debateable subject .......i cant imagine my life without my son and my new lo and i cant imagine how it must feel to be told that u cant have kids ,im only 25 in good health so would love to know im helping another couple fulfill there dreams by donating eggs but not sure how i would feel about biologically havin a child out there that isnt really mine if that makes sence! .................
lisa 36&3 xxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Surrogacy is even harder! There are two ways of doing it, with your own egg or a donor egg. I would never do it with my own egg, as it would be too much for me to bear carrying a child that i knew was half mine and then have to hand him/her over. Using somebody elses egg i think i could do it, but only for close family, ie my sister, who has cerebral palsy and we dont know if her body would cope with pregnancy. So i would do it using her egg and her OH's sperm, and know from the off that i was carrying my niece/nephew. A bit like prolonged babysitting if you like! And i'd know that i would get to see that child grow up etc. I dont know if i could do it for somebody i dont know though. I have the utmost respect for women who do, what an amazing gift to give to somebody! xxx
donating your eggs is not the same as being a surrogate. to be a surrogate you have to carry the child for someone else.
and your right it is a very debateable subject.
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I dont think i wld donate my eggs to strangers though, as i read a piece in a mag and apparently that child can come and find you at a later stage. And I just think it wld be rather weird if they found you as all you really did was produce an egg you are not 'really' their mummy. If the law changed to keep it private i certainly wld look into it!
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This is a subject close to my heart as my best friend's sister has difficulties concieving and she is undergoing all sorts of treatments at the moment. My best friend has offered to carry for her if this as all failed at the risk of her own health as when she had her 2 kids her body tried to reject the pregnancies.
Me and my husband said if and when we are all done and we have the family we want and she still hasn't got her baby. We would sit down and discuss it with her. Its not a decision we have told anyone (apart from now) but I just think how much I love the fact I am carrying my child in me and to be able to carry a child for someone who can't so they can experience the joy would be a very special thing to do.
hi chuffedbaby, yeah a surrogate is an extremely special person. and yes the uk is very strict on the rules. which magazine were you reading? was it a recent one?
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I didn't know that! Forgive me if this is a contraversial opinion but I think thats wrong. If you make the decision to give up your child then surely thats it, you can't choose to give it up unless you fancy going to the zoo or having a pen pal!
If we ever had to adopt then I would hate that the biological parents could stay in touch, I would be giving my everything to raise a child, something they chose not to do, why should they reap the rewards of my hard work?
Wow I never realised I had such strong opinions on the subject.
On the topic of the OP I think people who give themselves as surrogates are amazing people but selfishly I am not sure I could ever do it! I would like to think that I could but when it came down to it I think carrying someone elses child would be heartbreaking when you had to hand the baby over at the end, perhaps I could do it for a family member so I knew the baby would be in my life forever!
As for donating eggs I think I could do that but I do think you would wonder every time you saw a child that even looked remotely like you or your own children.
Right so I think we have established I am selfish, opinionated and suspicious lol!!
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hi miss impatient, i know what you mean. when we were looking at adoption and at the bottom of the profile of a child it would say so many visits or letters a year. some were even with the grandparents. i just thought it would be too confusing for us.
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In the case of your Dad thats obviously completely different and I am shocked and appalled he wasn't allowed to see them!!
just a question regarding surrogacy if u dont mind me asking firsttimer ....how does it work legally with your baby is the baby legally ure biological child therefore u are automatically her parents or do u have to "adopt"(sorry i know thats not the right word)her afterwards?im sorry to sound so nieve im just so intrigued? xxxxxxxxxxxx
as for adoption, i would love to apdopt a child too (see i love kids!) but they way some children are taken into care is appaling and this is what puts me off at the moment. my sisters partener had 2 children with his ex wife, she had them put into care when they dirvorced and as he didnt have his own home at the time and what they(social services) seen as a good job he wasnt allowed to keep them. after they had had their 2 children he had the snip so him and my sister wont be having children plus he is very honest about it all and says,yes maybe they are being looked after by someone who is doing a better job than he could BUT shouldnt he have been given a chance?!
my sister doesnt want children, in her words "im far to selfish to have children,i love my freedom,i love my clean house and i love my job,i dont feel incomplete without them"
they have a great life but the sadness shows in her parteners eyes when he is playing with my daughter.
if they decided they did want children i would do whatever i could to help them in a heartbeat.
my mum said to me before i had my daughter,that once i was a mum myself i wouldchange my mind about being a surrogate but if anything it has made me want to do it more. (thing is im only 23 and nowhere near finished with my family yet)x
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