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Christmas Jokes to cheer us all up?
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
It's Christmas, Eve !
How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day ?
Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve !
What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ?
The letter "D" !
What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ?
Santa Claustrophobia !
What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?
Black mail !
Who delievers cat's Christmas presents ?
Santa Paws !
Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney ?
Because it soots him !
Who delievers elephants's Christmas presents?
Elephanta Claus !
How many chimney does Father Christmas go down ?
Stacks !
Why is Santa like a bear on Christmas Eve ?
Because he's Sooty !
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Replies
they really are bad cracker jokes.
Ive just told them to ant and our friend and was told i should be ashamed even reading them aloud! hehehehe.
ill have to remember them when we've all finished dinner on xmas day.
Kas xx
Jack thought some of them were funny but he is 4 and a half!!
If I think of any i'll be back.
Zoe xx
A freezer!
Whats brown and sneaks around the kitchen?
Mince spies!
What happened to the man who shop lifted a calendar at christmas?
He got 12 months!
What do you get if you eat christmas decorations?
Tinselitis!
How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
Deep and crisp and even!!
What is the name of Santas wife?
Mary Christmas (boom boom)
Kas wont let me put in a joke about santas sack so you will have to ask for it
will reply when I think of more
Ant
How are a Christmas tree and a priest alike ?
They both have ornamental balls.
Why doesn't Santa have any children ?
Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.
Oops I mean a read of santa's sack!
I have to say Simone's rude ones are the best!!!!!
the sack gag was very similar to simones so I wont repeat it
but.
What do you call a snowman in July?
A puddle (bu,dum ching)
xx
Snow balls!
what happened when the snowgirl fell out with the snow boy?
she gave him the cold shoulder!
Just take these pills - and, if they don't work, give me a ring!
Nurse! I want to operate. Take this patient to the theatre.
Ooh! good! I love a nice pantomime at Christmas!
Doctor, Doctor, Father Christmas gives us oranges every Christmas. Now I think I'm turning into an orange!
Have you tried playing squash?
Father Christmas: Doctor, Doctor I feel so unfit
Doctor: You need to go to an elf farm
Doctor, Doctor, with all the excitement of Christmas I can't sleep.
Try lying on the edge of your bed...you'll soon drop off!
Doctor, Doctor I'm scared of Father Christmas
Doctor: You're suffering from Claus-trophobia.
My problem is that I keep stealing things when I go Christmas shopping. Can you give me something for it!
Doctor: Try this medicine...and if it doesn't work come back and bring me a new video camera