Feeling so down :(

ylacoutts · Jan 31, 2010 1:43PM

Well ladies this is my 1st sunday off work and OH has had to go to work now i am on my own today i thought i would cuddle up and watch some rubbish TV. I found a programme on MTV called 16 and pregnant. As it had babies in it i thought i would cuddle up with a coffee and watch it. What a huge mistake!!! One of the girls decided even though she was attached to her baby (even though it wasnt born yet) she would give it away. All the way threw her pregnancy you could see she and her boyfriend were getting so attached to her unborn daughter they were determined to give this little baby to a couple who had struggled to have one of there own, They did talk about how they would be giving their daughter a batter life with the couple she chose to have the baby but you could see she was strugggeling with her choice and when it was time to give her up to them she really broke her heart and i am now in floods of tears for them. Its so sad that they give up their daughter and both of them really found it hard to do. Yes they are young but to give up your child............ I just cant see how anyone could do it. This weekend its been 2years and 4 months since we started TTC so i am prob really emotional at this time anyways but to watch that has just broke my heart.

I feel so stupid now and there may come a time when i may need to look at adoption and will be so greatful of the preson who can give us a baby that we so desire.

Sorry for the rant girls but as i am at home alone who can i talk to about this. Hope you are all well. XX

TBDtinybabydancer · Jan 24, 2010 5:55PM

Hey couts, sweetie, big hugs. Bless you. I think all us LTTTC'ers can relate to these kind of moments. It gets to us all, and after such a long time you're bound to have some down days. Sounds like you could really have done with a bit of time to cuddle up with DH and spend some time together....hope that's what you're doing now! I iknow I always had this weird desire to watch / read about things that I knew would upset me......I think trying to prepare myself for what the future could hold. I have always been very scared by the prospect of adoption and its a big step., but I agree there could come a day when I would be so thrilled to be able to do this. Friends of ours recently adopted after yrs of infertility and I have never seen such a happy contented little family. It's good you can come on here and get your feelings out honey. Hope you're feeling a bit better hon. How's things progressing with you anyway hon? Haven't seen any updates from you for a while as I haven't been about as much xx

rachieblonde · Jan 25, 2010 4:38AM

Hey hun,

Don't be hard on yourself... Been there, had that feeling. I think it is completely and utterly understandable and it does hurt!

You have been ttc for such a long time so to ease people fall pg so at ease when that is what you desire the most i understand how upset it is to watch it.

I really hope you have had a really good cry and a massive cuddle from your DH and you are feeling a little better this morning.

Big hugs.

xxxx

ylacoutts · Jan 27, 2010 6:49PM

Hey ladies thanks for the support. feeling slightly better now OH came in and hugged so much! I had a cry and then started to think about our next appointment i have coming up. I had it in my head that it was on the 8th feb but its the 3rd! Next WED i am sooo happy its like less than a week now!

tinybabydancer I have been trying to keep off here for a bit as we have been TTC for so long i was trying to take mind off it all. OH had his SA done and results come back really quickly all is fine with him well within normal range so thats good. My 21day bloods showed i dont ovulate but i wasnt expecting anything else as my cycles were really long last year (cd76,Cd54 ect) so dr sent me for that test to check the tubes ect( the name of it i never remember lol) That come back ok so i am now hoping i am going to get clomid next wed. My cycle has started to get back to normal ish now after november. I have had AF show up every month even though i was over 28days but it was every month! I know i should get on here more but sometimes i just like to give myself a break

XX

TBDtinybabydancer · Jan 27, 2010 6:56PM

Hey sweetie, glad to hear your hubbie gave you some much-needed TLC. Totally understand you taking a break from BE, you should do whatever helps you and not worry about whether you're here or not. So pleased you have an appt so soon and it sounds v likely that clomid will be the next step and hopefully will do its magic for you. Loads of luck xx

ylacoutts · Jan 27, 2010 7:02PM

Yeah he has been really supportive recently (not that he isnt normally) He said he had a dream last night and its the 3rd time he has had it now that we had a boy and a girl twins on christmas day so he said for me not to get to upset if it doesnt work to much if it doesnt work1st time round! Trying not to get hopes up but you just never know. As i havnt been online in ages where are you at in all this TTC stuff tinybabydancer? Xx

TBDtinybabydancer · Jan 27, 2010 7:12PM

Oh that sounds like an amazing dream to hold onto hon. Very similar to an image I have held in my head for a long time. I am actually very lucky to have become pg from my first IVF/ICSI back in November!! It's been very up and down along the way though, but obviously totally delighted... You'll get there too hon xxx

ylacoutts · Jan 27, 2010 7:21PM

A huge congrats to you! Is all going well? I am hoping clomid will do the trick but i still have a feeling that its going to take a lot longer. Like we havnt even started yet if you know what i mean. XX

MrsCupcake87 · Jan 28, 2010 7:18AM

hey there couts...

heartbreakng aint it...glad ure starting to feel a bit better now tho hun!

As for the thought of adoption that scares me soooo much....

im sure its about 2years 4months we have been trying too.... Sep 07??
When did u first go to the docs?

xx

ylacoutts · Jan 28, 2010 10:54AM

Yeah Sept 07 was our big date deciding to start trying for a baby. Not that we ever thought we would still be trying for our 1st baby in 2010! I have been going to our local GP since about 1 year of TTC and he refussed to do anything! Said that i am young (only 22 at the time) so there is no problem and to keep trying.

It wasnt untill i was really ill last march and had a few nights in hospital that our TTC problems were taking seriously. It turned out i had a huge cyst on my ovary and it had to be drained and made me extremely ill They spoke about PCOS then but no one has said anything about it since. I am so excited that our next appointment is on wed coming and i am hoping clomid will be the next step. The DR did say it was meds if all my tests come back ok and they have so fingers crossed.

I am just so glad someone is taking us serious about TTC now unlike our GP who just rubbished us when we tried to talk to him. ( when i went to him on my own once he even had the nerve to tell me that you have to have a man to get pregnant

i would never have thought that! )

Cupcake when did you go the DR's 1st? XX

MrsCupcake87 · Jan 28, 2010 3:41PM

awww how insensitive can docs b at times... grrrrr

i went to docs last july...around the 22mnth mark, i was in denial tbh.... im only 22 now and theres talk of IVF if the clomid doesnt work... which im nt hopeful off....

u cant b much older than me then... nice to know there is sumone around my age, same length of time TTC and roughly at same stage in this process...

xx

would like to keep in touch..

xx

Socksxx · Jan 28, 2010 3:47PM

What a brave couple. That must have been so hard for them. I know what you mean though totally heartbreaking. I am quite lucky our doctor is great, well the female one anyway. The male doctor told us we obviously weren't trying hard enough and to be patient. Hubbie went to the lady doctor on her own for something else and she practically threw the jar at him when he told her about us. I know what you mean cupcake about being in denial. We are on month 23 had bloods done today, we were offered them nearly 6 months ago and I have been putting it off convinced we wouldn't need them. We are both 27 and had an mc in 08. It is all so hard and painful isn't it. Hope your feeling better Ylacoutts xx

ylacoutts · Jan 31, 2010 1:43PM

Hey ladies thatk you all for helping me feel so much better $:\$ ) Well untill i got a really bad cold at the other day

but that cant be helped. I am 23 now will be 24 in july and it does feel really strange thinking about meds then IVF at this ages isnt it cupcake. I must admit it is so nice to have ladies to talk to knowing they are same age ect. Around my area there are loads of girls this age having babies and working in customer service i see them all the time and no one says they have had to TTC for anytime. I would love to keep intouch cupcake! I hope meds work for you and there is no need for anything else! XX

Feeling so down :(

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