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I'm such a wuss.

This is a bit of a pointless post really, but felt I needed to get it off my chest!

So I'm a supply teacher and today my agency had booked me in to do supply at my old school. I wussed out and pulled a sickie this morning, cos I couldn't face going back. I didn't want to leave there in the first place (long boring story) and had truly thought I would be there until retirement! Plus I got my bfp 2 days after we broke up for the summer hols last year, so when I left I felt like my whole life stretched ahead of me and I was feeling so happy and positive.

Well I am trying so hard to be positive about stuff and not obsess about the fact I'm not pregnant any more, and it had been working for the last few weeks. I thought if I went to my old school I would probably end up in tears - missing my old school and missing my baby! I suppose it just goes to show just how long it really does take to get over something like this.

I'm glad I wrote that down cos it doesn't seem so unreasonable now!

Replies

  • aw honey, ur not at a wuss at all, ur just finding it tough to deal with things and that's totally reasonable! were you just needed for the one day or are you suposed to be going there for a few weeks or something? it does take a while to get over something like this especially with no bfp in the meantime! (((((((((hugs)))))))) xx
  • hi Moon and stars,

    you're not a wuss at all. all sorts of things are triggering off emotions for me, and you are right to take yourself out of the situation before it arises(iykwim)

    hope you're feeling better now hun,

    x x x
  • Hi hun

    Sorry that it brought back memories I think this sort of thing never leaves us & I still to this day have emotional days triggered by what seem to be simple things (the cbd adverts on tv at the moment!!)

    Were only human hun.

    Hope you feel better & are having a nice sickie day of pampering! xxx
  • Hi hun

    I don't think you are a wuss at all. I would have done exactly the same in your shoes. Why put yourself in a position to be upset?

    Anyway just wanted to say have a good day off and have a hug. As Laujai says, we are only human xx
  • Hi chick,

    I don't think you're a wuss at all hun.xx

  • You're not a wuss!

    We all have things that will trigger emotions in us. It's only natural hun.

    I would've done the same thing . Hope you're feeling better xxx
  • I think you are completely justified not going! It was part of your old life prior to your BFP. Hope it helped to write it all down! xx
  • Aww thanks girls. I can always count on you to cheer me up!

    Rocky I was only doing an afternoon there, but even that was enough to set me off!!

    Laujai totally agree with you on the random things making you sad. I had had visions of going to the school's Christmas Fayre with a little bump, then to the Summer Fayre with gorgeous baby in tow. Even driving passed the school gives me a lump in my throat now!

    Met up with a friend for dinner (met her when she was also teaching at my old school). She knows about the mmc, and knows how gutted I was to leave my old school, so she was super supportive and also told me I had done the right thing.

    So all in all I'm pleased I decided not to go. Writing it down deffo made it seem more reasonable, and as I realised half way through the day, the most important thing is my sanity and my happiness and if that means throwing a sickie, then so be it!
  • Good for you, glad your feeling a bit better sweetie.

    And damn those bloody CBD adverts saw another one after I posted a reply LOL!!! I think it just gets you thinking about seeing those magic words again!!! xx
  • Moonandstars I am pleased you are feeling a bit brighter! Dates and events are hard! I have a leacving ball to go to the begining of July and had thought I would be huge by then!

    Laujai everything seems to be about babies at the moment where ever I look or read!!!
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