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Sharing my controlled Crying success story!!

I just wanted to share this as im so happy that it actually worked for us. We were in such a desperate situation, joshua had to be rocked to sleep at night and in the day then he would wake almost every 10 minutes as his dummy would fall out then he would be wide awake at 4am it was getting ridiculous so a month ago we decided to try controlled crying and get rid of his dummy. He is now 9 months.
The 1st night i was ready to give up it took him 45 mins to settle with us going in every 10 mins but my husband said he will settle just give it time and he did and for the next week it got less and less time for him to settle. Now a month on i can put him down for his nap in the day and he settles himself, last night we put him down at 7 and he slept till 7 30 am, he grumbles a little in the night but i dont even have to go in to him he settles himself in a couple of minutes. Its fantastic and i havent looked back, apart from the 1st night it was much easier than i thought, the 1st week is the hardest but after that you do see results and joshua is amuch happier baby, i also get a little more time to myself in the day instead of pacing and rocking him for ages.
I know alot of people have different views on controlled crying but it really has worked for us and we are a much happier family unit now.
We have a 5 year old who was rocked and hushed to sleep till he was almost 3 and i wish we could have done this with him. :\)

Replies

  • Damn. BE ate my reply.

    Well done you, nice to hear a positive story abt controlled crying. I know it can be a controversial subject. I must admit i didnt like the sound of it untill i read up on what it actually involved and how it worked. Now if it came to it i would def give it a go if it became necessary.
    Well done for sticking it out xx
  • Well done, we cant wait till Jack is sleeping through & settling himself.

    He goes down about 8.30pm, having a cuddle then most times doesnt wake till about 3/4am for a feed. but he wont settle himself. Now he is only 10wks old, is this still to young for controlled crying? him sleeping till 3/4am is good but I would love him to settle himself as well instead of wanting nursed all the time but didnt know if it was to young to start etc

    Stacey & Jack
    xx
  • well done hun, i would not try this myself because it not for me but so glad you found something that works great job x
  • jacksmummy - yes he is too young! You shouldn't really try CC before 6 months unless you really have to! Before then they don't realise you will be there for them when they need them and they can panic and feel lonely / isolated etc! he is still so young so he needs to be resettled by you for comfort.

    Well done loufairy. Sounds like you have had a great success! I don't think I could do it myself, but it is great when it does work for people!
  • All my friends who have done controlled crying have said that the first night is the worst, and then after a week its amazing the change. One friend said that they were on the verge of getting divorced cos they were taking such strain, but they now have a child who sleeps through the night. She was 9 months. I am def going to do it when they are old enough. My mom did it when we were kids and she swears by it. But everyone needs to do what is best for them.
  • Thanx immense

    I thought he might be to young. if hes really crying or screaming then we wont leave him but if hes just moaning a little then we leave him, he'll either drop off, which I guess is technically settling himself or cry/scream the place down then we will pick him up.

    Stacey
    xx
  • Hurrah, success loufairy!
    It's nice to hear a story like that because i am currently going down the same route with my 15 month old trying to get rid of the dummy. It was getting ridiculous at night getting up 2 or 3 times to put her dummy in!
    3 days in and my nerves are rather frayed after bouts of 45 minutes to get her to nap in the day, but night time isn't too bad. The 6am waking isn't great though!! Your success will make my resolve stronger to carry on when the going gets tough LOL!

    Iz & Skye x
  • Yippee ! Loufairy its, great to hear that it worked !

    I used cc on my dd and although tough at first it worked a treat and now she is a fab sleeper (when not teething) and always self settles for nap and night time.

    I glad its working for you !
  • No probs jacksmummy! Sounds like you are doing everything fantastically. that is exactly what I did with my lo at that age image

    As I have said I don't think I could do CC (but if things got bad I probably could lol ), but I also don't think you should go to a baby at every whimper!
  • i've tried controlled crying but after 2 hrs of crying (going in at regular intervals every 10-20 mins) I felt too guilty. It only takes me a few minutes to shush and pat my son to sleep it is just he still wakes once in the night at 7 months and wants feeding although he doesn't fall asleep while eating which makes me wonder if he is just hungry??? Any ideas. He is quite a chunkaloon but i feed him up best I can in the day. The best he every sleeps is until 5.30.
  • It sounds a bit to me like he might still need that feed. My son settled himself at night from birth and was a great sleeper, (the day was a different story though!) but he didn't drop his last night feed until he was nearly 9 months old. Like your little boy he is a big lad (91st centile) and when he did wake up he troughed his feed down, I put him back in his cot awake, and he just settled himself to sleep, so I figured he was genuinely hungry. Sure enough that feed got later and later untill he dropped it by himself. Personally I would just carry on feeding him for now and see what happens!
    xx
  • Hi Lyndslondon,

    My HV advised at 6 months that I shouldnt have to feed our dd in the night if she is eating 3 meals/milks in the day, so my husband got up with her for a few nights and settled her and that quickly got her out of that final night feed/waking. However, my SIL fed all 3 kids in night until 8 months so its a very personal thing as to when you want to stop.

    DD is 9 months now and is also a 530am waker, occasionally she has gone to 6/630 but rare. We recently did cc to get rid of the dummy which has gone well and as others have said, has made a big difference to how she settles herself, although teething at the mo so doesnt help. She sometimes goes back to sleep if she wakes at 5/530 but not always - I have been told that she will grow out of it, cant wait for that....

    xxx

  • this is very interesting to hear. thomas is 8 months old and i have to rock him off to sleep at night and during the day for his naps. if i put him down slightly awake he gets all excited and immediately stands up and starts jumping up and down.
    i tried to see what would happen last night but he cried his little heart out for about 10mins so i ended up going in and he was crying real tears (he rarely does that) and i felt awful. tonight he fell asleep at the end of his bottle so went down straight away.

    i do enjoy our cuddles but i think it would be lovely if he could settle himself off as sometimes it takes ages.

    i am reassured reading this that it is possible to do at this age! (for some reason i thought it had to be done earlier than this!)

    xxx
  • mrs_e,

    I know that feeling - seeing the tears really hurts and hearing them cry is unbearable. I found this really hard at first but once you get through the first night and then the next few days it really becomes easier - Richard Ferber suggests structured timing e.g you let them cry for 5 mins on night 1, then comfort them (not picking up, just with words/stroking) then leave again, then another 5 mins, then 10 mins etc etc until they sleep. The main thing I had to get in my head was that she wasnt coming to any harm and the crying was due to us changing our normal ways and her having to find a new way to go to sleep.............I did cry when she did but just hung on to hubby - all of a sudden they go to sleep and you cant believe it!

    DD started doing the standing up thing recently when we put her to sleep (mainly for her naps) - so I just left her to it and she surprised me by going of to sleep on her own (never ever thought she would!). This doesnt always happen - sometimes she has a good cry but always goes off (I do sometimes pick up her for a cuddle - she is still only a little baby...image)

    good luck if you go for it, shout if you need support....

  • The 1st night and 1st few days really does feel like ur heart is being ripped out but as angelbump has said part of the challange is realising that they are not coming to any harm, if it wasnt for hubby i wouldve given in after the 1st 10 minutes! It really helped to have him there as a support. I have not once regretted it joshua is not any less happier. xxxxx
  • Well done you! The first few days are the hardest. It goes against the grain for us mothers to leave our babies to cry. However it is sometimes a necessary evil! My OH had to sit on me to stop me going in. I did CC with my 2 boys when they were about 6 months. I now have a almost 2yr old girl who I never got round to doing it with. We tried it one night but she woke the boys up and that was a nightmare. She was a premmie too and always seemed to be underweight/have a cold/cough/etc...

    I regret deeply not doing it as I now have her awake 2 to 3 times a night. I have not had ONE full nights sleep since I was about 25 weeks preg..thats nearly 2 and a half years of broken sleep. It is mind numbingly stupid that I got to this situation. CC is the best, it works, the kids are not hurt by it and it restores your much needed energy reserves which make you a much better mummy! As a mum of 5 I appreciate my rest and know how I function better as a mum if I have some sleep. As it is I am forgetful, snappy and feel sooo tired all day every day.

    My advice to you all is to do CC at about 6 months (if needed) leave it much longer and its so hard to do as it takes so much longer for them to get used to the new routine.

    Good luck anyone trying it and good luck to all those against it.... rocking those babes to sleep is the most wonderful feeling in the world but, rod for back are the words that come to mind!!!!

    dx
  • Hi everyone!

    we are in the same boat and tried our first night of controlled crying last night. 
    Fell asleep after 25mins at bedtime but cried for almost 2hrs in the night.
    gonna stick with it tho as we’re all so tired!!

    Question: do you use the same controlled crying at naptime when you’re starting out? 
    Or do you just get them to sleep however you can in the day until the night is sorted?

    Thanks!!
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