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I don't know how to feel
Before I go any further, I'm really sorry if what I write upsets anyone but I feel that it's something that I have to do. I also want you to know that I found you lovely ladies on here to be an absolutley fantastic support for me since my mc in November, and I can honestly say that I don't think I would have got through it without you all.
Well, today at 13DPO at tea time I did a HPT and got a feint BFP on a Superdrug test without using FMU. I am overjoyed that I am actually pregnant again, however I absolutley sh!t scared of what it means. I'm usually a 'glass half full' kinda girl, however I'm just so so scared that something's going to go wrong - the usual excitement of pg has completely gone for me.
I'm trying to focus on the positives, one big one being that on the month I did get my BFP it wasn't showing this early even with FMU, so if it's showing now this time around, surely it means that the levels are higher than last time already? I had only known I had been pg for 4 days before I started to bleed last time.
I can;t explain it, but I just knew that I was pg, even though my (.)(.) generally feel like normal, nothing like (o)(o) which they did last time. But I have the unmistakale feeling in my tummy, the funny hormones and the vivid dreams which just did it for me.
I don't expect any replies, and I certainly don't expect any congratulations, however I just needed to put it down so I can at least try and get my head around it all
xxx
[Modified by: **rainbow** on 04 February 2010 18:57:21 ]
Well, today at 13DPO at tea time I did a HPT and got a feint BFP on a Superdrug test without using FMU. I am overjoyed that I am actually pregnant again, however I absolutley sh!t scared of what it means. I'm usually a 'glass half full' kinda girl, however I'm just so so scared that something's going to go wrong - the usual excitement of pg has completely gone for me.
I'm trying to focus on the positives, one big one being that on the month I did get my BFP it wasn't showing this early even with FMU, so if it's showing now this time around, surely it means that the levels are higher than last time already? I had only known I had been pg for 4 days before I started to bleed last time.
I can;t explain it, but I just knew that I was pg, even though my (.)(.) generally feel like normal, nothing like (o)(o) which they did last time. But I have the unmistakale feeling in my tummy, the funny hormones and the vivid dreams which just did it for me.
I don't expect any replies, and I certainly don't expect any congratulations, however I just needed to put it down so I can at least try and get my head around it all
xxx
[Modified by: **rainbow** on 04 February 2010 18:57:21 ]
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Replies
i'm hoping this is the stickiest of sticky beans xx
I know how u are feeling hun. I just got a CBD positive and now im crapping myself. I had a small bleed 5 days before my AF was due so putting it down to implantation but im just soo scared. Book urself into the docs and ask as many questions as u want to try and help u. Im going 2moz as I cant quite believe my positive. All we can do is take each day at a time. This time I do feel differently whereas last time I kept saying "im scared somethings wrong" and it was. 1 loss doesnt mean it will happen again, we must stay positive
xx
xx
Gxx
I know relaxing will be hard this time, but this could be it - your baby!
Lots of love xxx
Of course your gona feel nervous, anxious and all over the place, we will be with you every step of the way hun. xxx
It's just all so surreal at the moment, I'm very scared to go the toilet and almost wish I hadn;t tested as then I'd still be in some sort of ignorant bliss!
My first milestone is to reach 5+2 without any problems, then 6 weeks then see what happens.
Thank you all for being so understanding
xxx
P.S Pickle it was really lovely to hear from you, how are you huni? xx
Lots of sticky baby dust
Lynn x
xxx
xxx
Congrats to you and just have to say getting past 5+2 was my milestone too and i reached it yesterday. I'm 5+3 today and everything is great, I even got a 3+ on cbd last night and symptoms are big and strong, not like last month where i just had a feeling that it wouldn't be a proper pregnancy!! I totally understand how you feel, my next milestone is 27 weeks!! Sending you some sticky baby dust and hopefully see you in due in Oct xx
Haven't been on for a few days and have only just seen this but i wanted to say a huge congrats and i can totally understand why you are anxious. Take care and hope to see you in pregnancy (when i feel brave anough to post there properly!
Jodie xxx
I'm sure this one will be sticky my lovely!
On the other subject I know I will feel the same but there isn't much we can do except try to remain positive and keep talking!
I am going to say congratulations but also that I totally know how you must be feeling. I know I will be the same and it's totally normal.
Last month when I got a bfn I was almost relieved that I wouldn't have to deal with the terror and worry yet I want a baby more than anything. I don't think it quite makes sense unless you've been through it.
What you said is not upsetting it's totally normal. We'll be here to support you until it sinks in and you get to a stage where you can believe it!
Lots of love x x x