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Why am I so impatient???

seraphina68seraphina68
in Trying to conceive
I feel so guilty... I have had several early mc before I was ttc (while using cap) then fell for all 3 babies in second month, 3rd sadly lost at Xmas. So I bled for what seemed like months but wasn't of course! Then I stopped and we started ttc straight away and then I had what I thought was AF 23 days after mc which for my 24 day cycle would be about right... But it was really really dark and had clots in it and when I had a proper (but much heavier) bleed 10 days later I realised the first was still from mc and not AF. So.... in all my 30 years of periods I have been as regular as clockwork, straight after coming off the pill, after both babies, so naively assumed it still would be. Usually I ov around day 10-12 and before mc I was using the ov sticks that tell you when you are about to ov and always got +ve by day 10. Well it's day 11 and still no +ve.
I'm in bits.
FFS for a start it's only one day and I know that sometimes it takes months to recover properly from mc so why am I so upset????
I think a tiny part of me is wondering if it is start of menopause...
I hate myself right now. I'm being so stupid and selfish, so many of the lovely ladies on here have been ttc for so long and/or have had numerous mc and here I am whinging when I have had 2 healthy kids already and have barely given my body a chance to bounce back from it's loss.

Raaaaaaaaah :cry:

Replies

  • breighlinbreighlin
    I can understand how you feel. I am so impatient, my second af was heavier than normal and had some clots in it and was a week late. I only ever have been 1 or 2 days late, so I am not used to this. After af I am good for a few days, than I get impatient and wish the month away.

    Can not write anymore at the moment, but didn't want to read and run.
  • rocky_kizrocky_kiz
    aw i know exactly how you feel, the first few months after mc, i ov'd much much later, got a bit less each cycle, think the first one i ov'd about cd 32!!!!!!! keep with it, it WILL happen! xx
  • SengaMcBrideSengaMcBride
    Hello sweetie,
    Hope youre feeling a wee bit better . Try not to worry too much as you have managed to get pregnant before so i doubt early menopause as its difficult enough to get pregnant without all that nonsense. I felt like that for a while too as im 44 and had mc in November . Took a year to get pregnant which aint too bad at my age and not had AF since mc but i know its just my body telling me it needs time too recover. Stay strong and hope we all get our extra sticky beans this year x x x x x
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