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offended my mum, what would you have done ?
in Baby
Hi Ladies
My mum and husband have never really seen eye to eye, even though we've been together since we were 17 (15 years), are married and have recently had our little boy. Anyway, my parents have two labradoodles who are quite boisterous and jump over everyone, including me when I bring the baby to see them. They have looked after our baby overnight a few times which is fine as they are fantastic grandparents who love him to bits. However, their dogs are their babies and they are allowed to sit on the settees etc, our baby was supposed to be staying down there tonight whilst I go out (rare occasion), but my hubs has now decided that unless the dogs are kept in a different room, our baby cant go down there as he is terrified of our baby being bitten as you always hear on the news about babies being mauled in their grandparents house. I see his point, I cant ask my parent to lock the dogs away as its their house and i know what their response will be (offended), so now he's not staying down there again.
As I mentioned they are fantastic grandparents who would never let anything happen to our baby, but my hubs says the risk is there and it would only take one bite.
What would you have done ?
sarah+tyler(12 weeks)
My mum and husband have never really seen eye to eye, even though we've been together since we were 17 (15 years), are married and have recently had our little boy. Anyway, my parents have two labradoodles who are quite boisterous and jump over everyone, including me when I bring the baby to see them. They have looked after our baby overnight a few times which is fine as they are fantastic grandparents who love him to bits. However, their dogs are their babies and they are allowed to sit on the settees etc, our baby was supposed to be staying down there tonight whilst I go out (rare occasion), but my hubs has now decided that unless the dogs are kept in a different room, our baby cant go down there as he is terrified of our baby being bitten as you always hear on the news about babies being mauled in their grandparents house. I see his point, I cant ask my parent to lock the dogs away as its their house and i know what their response will be (offended), so now he's not staying down there again.
As I mentioned they are fantastic grandparents who would never let anything happen to our baby, but my hubs says the risk is there and it would only take one bite.
What would you have done ?
sarah+tyler(12 weeks)
0
Replies
hope u get it sorted and hope u manage to enjoy ur night out (assuming ur hubby is either busy elsewhere or coming out with u, otehrwise he cld have lo whilst u finally have a night out urself....)
xx
Good luck!
C
i think it depends on how the dog/baby relationship is seen, i visited my friend this week who has three dogs two little and a massive one, the big dog is very wary of babies but the other two like to nosy, my friend would never leave the baby unattended with the dogs and if they get roudy or she cannot be right next to the baby (she has a little girl) they are in another room with a baby gate so they can still be involved but protected
if they are like this then i personally wouldnt be worried, however if they dont see the possible danger and are happy to leave bubs on the playmat for example and let the dogs in the room unsupervised then it is a problem and needs careful handling. they may never intentionally let anything happen to bubs but dogs are not human and dont understand risks, not just biting but smothering or rough play.
as there are difficulties between hubby and your mum i would maybe express the fears as your own instead of his. maybe suggest a stair gate to seperate them when bubs is not being held or that he has to be in a playpen until hes a bit older.
I also agree with Piggypops that it might be a good idea to speak as if the concerns are yours if there is a problem with mum and hubby. I have to do that with my dad sometimes as he hasnt always approved of my hubby (we have also been together 10 years, since I was 14, married with twins!)
I would definitely speak to her...she might be of the same view of you and would never leave dogs alone but you dont know as you havent spoken to her about it??
they would never leave tyler alone with the dogs, that i am sure of. its the puppy that is the worry as she loves biting at the moment and tries to grab his toes when he's on my mums lap. although hubs doesn't know this. they are cage trained so when they misbehave they get put in there. He has stayed down there before, and has been fine but hubs thought they locked the dogs away when tyler is there. I know he will be safe, but now the thought is in my mind and I know how boisterous they can be, they are always fighting with each other (play fighting) which sometimes frightens the baby.
I've told my mum the reason as I dont want to lie to her (half hoping she would say they would put them in their cages) but i just got a 'ok' response. she is never going to approve of my hubs and has even said she has reservations about his capability of being a dad as he finds settling tyler difficult although he is now much better. Only reason mum was going to have him is because hubs is on his days/nights switchover so I need to be up with the baby and after having a drink (altough not much) I wont exactly be on form.
sarah
Personally, I'm never convinced when people say their dogs wouldn't hurt a fly because I got bit badly by a friends dog a few years back even though I'd saw the dog a million times before and she was always friendly she literally just sank her teeth into my leg for no reason one day. So seing dogs around babies always makes me flinch.
Anyway you're a mum now and lo's well-being is your priority so don't be made to feel you should apologise for that- go with your instinct x
They did not take afance and munch (the dog) is there baby!they got a high baby gate and put that up at door so munch can still c everything and not locked in a room!
I understaned that ur perants would never let anything happin but I would just never take chance with dogs!!!
Heidi n heidi 9weeks 5days xx
My experience is as a dog owner who does treat them as babies (cant help it!) but as much as I trust them fully I would never leave them alone with my nieces and nephews, nor my baby when he/she finally decides to show up!
However my siblings have different views on having the dogs anywhere near their children and obviously I have followed their wishes when they visit. But the ones who have not insisted that the dogs be shut away in a seperate room now have a very healthy attitude and relationship with animals, where as the ones that insisted no contact are now regretting it as they are struggling to get their children to not be scared in the presence of animals......and my dogs no matter what will not have anything to do with them, as they have no trust of them either.
Like i say I would never agree with dogs being left alone with children, but I can see the breakdown in a healthy relationship with dogs when they are isolated away from children all the time.
It's a toughey but im sure your mum and hubbie could find a happy medium...hope so for you and tyler!
Em 41+4 x
I'm sure your parents would never leave your son with the dogs unattended at all if you expressed your concerns.
I hope you get it sorted.
xx
I don't really remember the incident too much but my older sister was there and remembers it vividly and she has since been really scared of all dogs and this has passed on to her daughter who is now 8 and also scared of dogs.
We don't have anyone in our family that actually has dogs so its not an issue that we have to deal with too often.
we have a cat and dog ourselves and have been brought up with various pets, i think my hubs main issue is that he feels my mum puts the dogs needs before tyler, they are allowed on the settee when tyler is there and the little one is constantly trying to nip his feet. they both jump up all the time, the one is quite a big dog.
i think she is offended as i haven't heard from her since
sarah
Hope it gets sorted soon.
xx