Advice please
Hi, you may have seen my other thread , I had a MMC and then an ERPC on the 13th Feb. I have just had a text inviting me to a 30th birthday party at the weekend, it is going to be a huge do and the lady is a friend who I am fairly close to. I cannot bear the thought at the moment of going to the party. I just don't feel like going out at the mo. Problem is it is obviously a big birthday being 30th and also when I had my birthday a while back another friend threw a suprise party and every one came, even someone whose father had just passed away. They all made the effort. What do I do, Do I just grin and bear it or do I try and explain that I am not up for it? What would you guys do? I just dont think they would understand as in there mind they probably think I should be over it by now.
Help
Jacqui
xx
Help
Jacqui
xx
0
Replies
Hope that helps and it didn't sound harsh at all, it wasn't meant to.
Mary xxx
How are you?
a week and a half after my mc it was a good friends 30th bday. I decided to go, but my friend knew what we had been through and I explained to her that I wanted to be there but I probably wouldnt be the "life and soul" of the party and that I wouldnt stay all night.
see how you feel on the day hun? you may want to have something to focus on and "enjoy" going out, but not want to stay for a long time. (hope Im making sense)
dont worry about them thinking you should "be over it" - only you know how you are feeling and no body can judge you on that. I dont think we ever "get over it" - it just gets a little easier to deal with.
see how you feel on the day hun,
x x x
Thanks everyone
Jacqui
xx
If on the day you feel like going, great - if you dont feel like going thats fine too. you do what you want to do and feel okay with, take your teim hun
x x x
You have to do what's right for you in this moment. If you can't bare it, stay home and drink wine or eat chocolate; whatever makes you feel happier right at this moment is what is important. It is so hard to go through this and I don't think anyone truly understands unless they have been through it. Don't feel you have to please anyone but yourself for now. You can send a card and an apology and say you would love to have a meal or drink with your friend sometime soon, that is what I would do. Emotions are strange at this time and your hormones are probably still messed up too and aren't helping either, I know mine were for a few weeks and I was all 'this way and that', not quite knowing what I should or shouldn't do (I still don't know )! I did go and have a nice meal with two very close friends of mine not long after my mmc, but that was as much as I did and it was hard to do. Like I said though, take care of yourself first, they'll be at time when you're ready to get out and party again! If that time happens to be this weekend so be it, if not then it might be the next one or the one after that - but that's for you to know and figure out - everyone else will be fine until then, as long as you are OK right now. (((hugs))) Let me know what you decide.
Jacqui
xx