🚨 Advance warning 🚨 This forum will be closing on 1st May – please see our pinned thread for more information.
Just the one baby?
Hia
Seems a lot of people from by born in group are already thinking about ttc again. Hubby and I have decided just to stick to having the one gorgeous girl we have now. We went through so much to have her and now she is here she i all we want-she is perfect.
Just wondering if anybody else decided to stick with one baby. Everybody keeps telling me I HAVE to have more to give dd some company-it's starting to drive me mad!!
Please tell me I'm not a freak for thinking I only want one baby!!
luc and Bri 20 weeks
xxxx
Seems a lot of people from by born in group are already thinking about ttc again. Hubby and I have decided just to stick to having the one gorgeous girl we have now. We went through so much to have her and now she is here she i all we want-she is perfect.
Just wondering if anybody else decided to stick with one baby. Everybody keeps telling me I HAVE to have more to give dd some company-it's starting to drive me mad!!
Please tell me I'm not a freak for thinking I only want one baby!!
luc and Bri 20 weeks
xxxx
0
Replies
xx
We will be sticking with our one handful too!!
She was a prem baby so the chances of having another are higher, and my age is also not on my side, so one it is!
I think that as long as they have plenty of friends and contact with other children then they won't be deprived of company in my opinion.
One little handful is more than enough for me LOL!! x
We will be sticking with our one little girl too!!
She was a prem baby so the chances of having another are higher, and my age is also not on my side, so one it is!
I think that as long as they have plenty of friends and contact with other children then they won't be deprived of company in my opinion.
One little handful is more than enough for me LOL!! x
xx
also sick of people saying i'll change my mind when i know i won't, i love our little family, i hated growing up in a big family (i was one of 5 children) and my parents never had enough time for each of us.
xxx
I'm totally in agreement that whilst it is our decision how many babies we have, our decision will be at least to have two children. Having reently lost my father in law at a relatively young age, and watch my husband take on a lot of the organisational aspect of this with support from his sister, it struck me how much more difficult it all would have been if he hadn't had a sibling to share the emotional pressure. Whilst better holidays and education are wonderful things, they are not essential and our children will hopefully be a long time around without us. It would just seem awfully lonely for them if they were all alone!! They may have lots of friends or extended family, but these things aren't the same as brothers or sisters, regardless of how well they do or don't get on when they're little.
Just my point of view!
Jx
I did feel like this too, very strongly in fact, for a long time but when my son was about 7 I started longing for another. I've since had a stillbirth and am pregnant again with twins and can't wait!! I will be stopping after the twins, but if it were only 1 then i would be having another so they don't have the same lonely upbringing my son had. My son is 10 and it's now i notice it the most. Our last holiday was a nightmare as he had no-one to play with and was unhappy. It broke my heart!! I grew up with 5 brothers and sisters so i know what it's like to have the company of siblings. I just want to say i'm not saying you are wrong in your decisions as you have to do whats right for you and your family. It's just the way I felt after a long time xx
if money wasnt a issue i would have 3 or 4 but i want to be happy and comfortable and not struggle so its 2 for me! but 1 for now.x
I hate that I feel pushed into having more children, why am I selfish for only wanting one?! I explained to my mil and sil that I found the pregnancy and labor very difficult, lo is almost 5 months old and I am still having problems healing but they cant understand this. This is like the constant asking of newlyweds when are they planning children but what if they cant or just dont want to have children, surely asking somebody or pushing them to have more children is just plain rude! :x
I know that dd will never be lonely when we pass on as my husbands side of the family are very close and she has plenty of extended family who will always be there for her.
It's just my experience that although I got on great with my brother and sister when I was little they then changed when they hit 18 and have caused me more pain and upset than I care to remember. I have had sever depression due to the experience so maybe I am biased.
As for the holidays and things I know they are not everything a child needs. But it is nice to be able to take our children nice places and treat them to nice things from time to time. My hubby is once of 4 and until I met him he had NEVER been on holiday or even been to a zoo because his parents couldnt afford to take them all!! He does feel like he missed out on a few things.
It really gets to me that people think I'm selfish for only having one baby and that dd will be missing out on things.
xx
I can see both sides though. I never wanted just one child, however, I would have loved the experience of giving my all to one baby before having another.
I wouldnt trade my boys in for the world and there are masses of advantages to having twins but I can see why people would only want one child as I would love to be able to shower all my attention on 1 child, even if I planned to have 2 anyway!
My dilema now is that I want to experience having a single child, but I never wanted 3 children and dont feel I can provide for 4! The boys are only 5 months and I dont want another 1 yet but twins were never on my agenda!
They may end up being our only children
You should all do what you want to do...bugger anyone else. Some people would have 10, 11, 12 children given the opportunity, some would have none.
Im not sure if ive made sense but I still struggle to come to terms with how I feel about all this, which is why I think I get so irritated by all the people who tell me 'I would have loved to have twins'. Makes me feel like a freak as the thought never even entered my head and there have been many a time (please dont think I dont love my boys more than the world, or that I would give them up as I NEVER would) where I have thought about how much different it would be having 1.
Sorry if ive offended. I still struggle to make sense of it all in my own head!!
xx
It is definately a personal thing. I know some people who at the moment will not have another.
I do know some people who ahve grown up being a only child. Whislt this has worked for some, it hasn't worked for others.
like I said its a personal choice and no one should be forced to avhe a child if they don't want one