🚨 Advance warning 🚨 This forum will be closing on 1st May – please see our pinned thread for more information.
Does Your Mother Know??
I'd be really interested to know how many of you have told your parents that you are trying, particularly if it's taking a while or if there are problems.... (I've got PCOS).
I'm in two minds.... I don't want the feeling of failure if I say we're trying and then don't produce a grandchild but on the other hand my sister was diagnosed with PCO a couple of years back and said she'd spoken with my mother about it and she reckons he has it too. So that leaves me with a whole load of questions I kinda want to ask.... But I can't really do that without giving the game away, can I??!!
What are your experiences of telling/not telling and would you have done anything differently?
Baby dust xx
(Similar to a post I've put up in PCOS)
I'm in two minds.... I don't want the feeling of failure if I say we're trying and then don't produce a grandchild but on the other hand my sister was diagnosed with PCO a couple of years back and said she'd spoken with my mother about it and she reckons he has it too. So that leaves me with a whole load of questions I kinda want to ask.... But I can't really do that without giving the game away, can I??!!
What are your experiences of telling/not telling and would you have done anything differently?
Baby dust xx
(Similar to a post I've put up in PCOS)
0
Replies
I really don't want to hear any negative comments about us having number 2 so soon, so not only are we not telling anyone that we're trying, but when I get my bfp we're not telling anyone until I start showing (which might only be 2 months cause I showed early with dd).
If there are problems it might be nice for your parents to know, but that also depends on what type of parents they are and how close you are to them. I know if I had any problems I would tell my parents cause I would want their support.
I think it all depends on the relationship with your mum. I am close to my mum and we get on very well, but Im not as close as other people are with their mothers, who share everything.
I think the reason I havent told my mum is because I would hate her to tell me to wait a few years or try to put me off the idea. But deep down I dont think she would tell me that, but Im too scared in case she did. Does that make sense?
Sorry to be a bit rambley! Are you as close to your mum as your sister is?
i agree with mrsallen08, it depends on the relationship with your mum, i get on with my mum so well, so i told her.
so its up to you some people just want to keep it quite, some don't.
xxxxxx
Just kinda scared that once I tell her it's out and I can't reverse that! I want to know a lot about her experiences but don't want lots and lots of 'advice' if that makes sense!
H xx
u could tell ur mum u've got a "friend" who's trying and has PCOS n see if she'll volunteer some info 4 u!!
I have PCOS 2 hun so if u ever wanna chat about it, just holla xxx
It is good having someone to talk to but I have told a couple of friends xxx
Most of my close girlfriends know and a couple of them have babies and one has PCOS and needed help to get pg so I can talk about it a lot with them. My DH's sister and uncle know so don't know if all his family know or not - haven't seen them since Christmas but visiting next week so we'll see. But to be honest I won't feel pressure from the in-laws knowing as they're super chilled out. Not that my mother will put any pressure on me but I think it'll do my head in if she keeps asking about it or giving me 'advice.' She'll probably research it on the internet and tell me what I should do and so on.....
Waaaa!!! That would seriously bug me! But it would be nice to know how things were when she got pg with me and my sis....
I think I'll keep quiet for now..... Until I crack!
Baby dust xx
However I wouldn't tell them till my first scan, just to be on the safe side xxx
Some people we said 'we don't know' to and others, like parents we told them we are. My Mum is not much help though and I do wish she didn't know. Full of 'advice' and looking things up on the net. "Maybe it was 'this or that' that was the problem for you last time", "Don't drink if you're ttc", (which with my job is almost impossible as if I didn't I'd be stressed if I didn't have a couple of wines on a w/e which in my mind is worse).
I think the fact that you have friends in similar positions who can help you I think is great and I would lean on them if I were you. Plus medicine has changed considerably in the last 20 odd years (not sure how old you are!) so I doubt her experience would be much use to you now, but I guess you never know.
If I were you i'd go with your gut on this one. Good luck in ttc. Hopefully you'll just be able to tell them soon that you're pg! )
You might find it useful to talk to your mum if she had similar problems? Although hopefully you will be preg soon and it won't be an issue anyway! xx
I had a mc over xmas and knew about that, needed her support!
Does add to the pressure though a little,
xxx
I am not originally from this country so it could be a cultural thing or maybe an age thing...not sure. I could do with a chat sometimes...especially today, AF late and a BFN on FR, but I'm not going to force the subject.
No-one else knows though...kept is secret from my dad and sister and friends.