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Q for mums of baby & toddler


I'm completely at the end of my tether with my 33mth old ds1. Ds2 is 15wks old, very little and incredibly sensitive. Ds1 is headstrong, big and stubborn!
Ds1 keeps picking up his little brother. I've asked him not to - he still does it. I've calmly explained that it's lovely he wants to look after his brother but it's a mummy/daddy job to carry him - he still does it. His dad has also calmly explained - he still does it. I've shouted at him. I've sent him to his room. Nothing but nothing seems to work!
Today I was left with no choice but to take ds1 with me whenever I left the room, which isn't exactly practical.
Poor ds2 has been dropped twice in the last week which results in him proper screaming and takes ages to calm down which causes ds1 to play up cos he's getting no attention, gahhh!

Please don't think I leave them unattended for long periods. I leave the room for the toilet or to pour more juice, maybe 2mins max.

Has anyone else been through the same thing? How on earth did you cope?

Liz, Spencer & Eddison x


  • Ah yes - remember it well. I had this with ds1 and ds2 - but don't worry it doesn't last forever!

    I just had to go through the phase of never leaving them alone in the same room. If I had to leave, even for a minute, I would either pick up baby or take ds1 with me.

    In some rooms you can have 'safe places' to leave baby for a few minutes - like in the bedroom I could put ds2 in his cot and he'd be safe. He was also safe in his bouncy chair in the lounge as he was strapped in and ds1 couldn't get him out! He was also safe in his pram in the hallway.

    Have you tried carrying baby around in a sling? I used to do that a lot too.

    Before you know it your ds2 will be big and robust enough to withstand your bigger boys attentions lol!

    Hope this helps.
  • Thanks for the supportive replies.

    I left ds2 in his bouncy chair. Ds1 tried to pull him out and the chair tipped forward with ds2 still strapped in. We've also got a swing but I'm worried that if ds2 gets the catch undone it's a good drop to the floor!
  • i feel your pain,my son was 20months when the twins were born and it was a nightmare,even now,big bro will be 3 in a couple of weeks and the twins are 15months and iam still tearing my hair out,ive started to put the twins in a travel cot while i go to the loo and things,iam hoping it gets easier :lol:

  • hey, i'm not talking from experience as only have DD so apologese if this is a silly idea.

    when you're about to leave the room, could you perhaps say to DS "mummys going to the toilet, leave your brother where he is, and if you're good and don't pick him up, when im finished you can have a hold/cuddle with him when im back"

    just thinking that way he's getting a bit of an insentive not to pick him up, and if he can hold on just 2mins, then he can have a "supervised" cuddle?

  • Interesting topic, I'm expecting baby number two in a few weeks and my ds will be just 18mths old so will keep an eye on this for tips!

    There was 18mths between me and my brother and he was a real terror with me apparantly. My mum had to carry me round in a sling to keep me safe.

    This probably sounds so niave (sp) of me but I'm planning on buying a safety gate for the lounge. (We already have one at the bottom of stairs and on kitchen) so if I need to go to the loo or nip into the kitchen I can contain ds in the hallway. I plan to put a little box of toys in there so there's something for his attention. Then I can leave baby in moses basket or rocker in the lounge.

    Does this sound feasible?
    I don't intend to keep ds contained for longer than 5mins and it's not a small space. He's too young to explain to about being gentle with baby.

    oh why oh why didn't I listen to hubby and wait till ds was at school before we started trying again!
    How do you even get out of the house without it being like an army mission???
  • HI

    I had an 18 month age gap withmy 3rd and 4th. It was not easy!!!!!

    Joseph was good but would poke Charlie in the eye or try to pick him up by the head or neck!!!

    I never left the 2 of them in the room. I put the youngest in his pram and pushed him around with me to the kitchen, toilet etc..

    Putting up a stair gate and having a safe area is another good idea. Or those baby dan play pens as they can be used as stair gates too.

    My friend had a 16 month age gap and came back from putting some washing in to find her baby choking. When she got the item out his mouth it was a raisen that her son had tried to feed the baby!!!!!!

    They are sent to try us....

    d x
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