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Hi Ladies,

I hope you won't mind me returning for some more of your brilliant advice.

My daughter (19), some of you will remember, had a missed miscarriage in February, she now has a BFP but I am worried. I am so happy for her but, at the same time, I don't think I could bare to see her and her OH go through the same again. While I know its unlikely it will happen again i can't help but try to get her to curb her excitement until the same time has passed. I'm sure this isn't helpful to her but I don't really know how to react.

Can anyone please give me some pointers, I feel as though i'm being the profit of doom.

Many thanks, Nicki


My daughter had her 2nd scan yesterday - she is now 7 weeks and all is well, the heartbeat is strong. Whilst she knows that things can still go wrong she (and I) are feeling much more optimistic.

Many thanks to all you lovely ladies and best wishes to you all for the future.

I'm not sure which forum I should now be going to so any advice would be appreciated as my daughter would like to join in now.


[Modified by: Nicki892 on 25 May 2010 21:09:00 ]

[Modified by: Nicki892 on 29 May 2010 23:25:41 ]


  • Hiya Nicky,

    I didnt want to read and run !!

    Although your daughter will be very happy at the moment she will always have the MC on her mind.

    I has MC 8 wk's and I am preg again 5+3. We are over the moon to have BFP again, but scared that MC may happen again, although it is unlikely I will, I cant help thinking it may just happen again.

    Hope this has helped.

    Good luck to your daughter.

  • Hiya Nicky,

    I didnt want to read and run !!

    Although your daughter will be very happy at the moment she will always have the MC on her mind.

    I has MC 8 wk's and I am preg again 5+3. We are over the moon to have BFP again, but scared that MC may happen again, although it is unlikely I will, I cant help thinking it may just happen again.

    Hope this has helped.

    Good luck to your daughter.

  • Im with suze19 your daughter will be thinkling of the MC all the time but is probly determined to enjoy the pregnancy all the more....i have twin girls already who are 17months (MY GOD) and i miscarried twins at 12 weeks just after mothers day!
    I am now pregnant again but i am worried i want to get to 12 weeks and then ill relax a bit but even so im trying hard to enjoy this pregnancy as i didnt the last one with all the things that were going on! Its unlikely i will miscarry again as i miscarried basically because of high stress and being unwell...but i still wanna make sure i take nothing granted! Just humour your daughters exitement or with her being sensitive she may think that you are convinced its gunna happen and arent supporting her even though you really are encourage her to join a forum preg after m/c or even this one and then she can talk openly about feelings as i always feel bad for thinking its gunna happen as if im almost jinxing this pregnancy! Anyways didnt mesn to ramble and hope we helped a bit im 20 btw so not much older than ur daughter image xxx
  • Sending love and congratulations to your daughter Nicky,

    Don't have a great advice but wanted to pass on my congrats, try to relax and help her to relax and enjoy!

    MrsH xxx
  • Hi everyone,

    Many thanks for all your kind replies. Angelkisses you hit the nail right on the head. I'll try and relax a bit.

    She has an early scan booked for Friday so I shall keep my fingers well and truly crossed for her and try and be a bit more upbeat.

    Many many thanks.
  • Hey, I had a mc July 08 and I have only just fallen pg, I am 11+6 today have my 12 weeks scan tomorrow. I am so terrified it will be an mmc. When I found out I was pg, hubby was so reserved said he couldn't bare to see me go through it all again but I said that I was determined to spend my time enjoying my pg even if it only lasted a few weeks, There is nothing I can do if it does go wrong so I was determined not to waste the happy time worrying as it is no good for me or the baby. She is going to find it tough, from personal experience I have found my mum a tower of support. I am sure she will be fine, but if not worrying about it won't change it so you might as well enjoy what you have xx my midwife said something very true to me at my booking in appointment, she said every day you are pregnant is a blessing so enjoy it xx
  • Hey,

    suze19, many congratulations on your pregnancy, I wish you all the luck in the world.

    MrsH, the advice you gave me a couple of months ago was invaluable, its so nice to hear from you again.

    socks, many thanks for your comments, they make alot of sense. Good luck for tomorrow, I shall be thinking of you. Please let me know how it goes.

    Best wishes to you all.

  • when I got preg again my mum annoyed me with her negativity. I know she was prob just trying to stop me getting my hopes up, but even after my 12 week scan was all fine she said we should be 'cautiously optimistic'. I felt like after what I'd been through and all the stuff I'd read about MC's I knew a hell of a lot more than she ever will about all the stats, why things happen, how likely they are to happen again.
    also was determined to try to enjoy the pregnancy as much as poss, as I thought when my child asks me about pregnancy, I don't want to tell them I hated it and was terrified of losing them for 9months. so I felt just had to be as positive as poss.

    I'd say try to support your daughter and help her enjoy this as much as she can, so she doesn't wish away the months through stress. if it all goes wrong again you'll be there to help her, but act as if it won't.

    hope that helps.
  • Hi Nicki

    So lovely to see you back with some good news.

    Like the girls say the mc will always be on her mind & would be good if you can show some confidence about the pg being succesful, I loved that my mum was always so supportive by having PMA when I didnt.

    I have everything crossed for Fridays scan, please let us know how she got on.

    Love to you both

    13wks today xxx
  • gemsgems13, many thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings with me. I'm trying so hard not to be negative, just sooooo worried for her (I can't bare the thought of her and OH going through it again). I'm truly pleased for them both so I will take your advice on board and be upbeat and positive.

    laujai, its lovely to hear from you, thanks for taking the time to respond.
    I shall put my fears aside and let the PMA take over. I certainly don't want to come across as the doubting mother.

    Once again, many thanks for all your kind words of advice, as always, they have been a great help. I will keep you all updated on her progress.

  • nicki! im so glad to hear good news from you!! i was so taken by your true love and thoughts of your daughter during her terrible time. i agree i would just try to help her enjoy this preg. as much as poss. as the other ladies said she will worry enuf with out the reminders! we all know far to well. heres to a happy, healthy 9mths!!

  • hi nicki,

    big congratulations to your daughter (and to you as well!)

    i'm currently 11 weeks following a mc in Nov at 16+6,

    we had our first scan on wed and everything was great, but its still a worrying time,

    my advice would be to try and go with how she is feeling.

    sometimes I'm very excited and want to talk about cute baby things, whereas sometimes Im a bit anxious and want to put it at the back of my mind.

    also, (this is just me not sure how your daughter is) but I still sometimes want to talk about my baby that I lost, I dont like to think that just because im pregnant again that everything is fine.

    so to sum up - just try to gage her thoughts and be there.

    (sorry if Im not making sense!!)

    has she bee to the doctors yet? hopefully she will have an early scan and that will be much more reassuring for her, and for you.

    let us know how she's getting on,

    lots of love


    x x x
  • Hey Nicki

    Just wondering how things are.

  • Hi all,

    Well she had a scan last Friday but it was a bit inconclusive as they couldn't see the sac. She also had a blood test to check her HCG levels as it was so early, she was then told to go back Sunday for another blood test, at this point all seems to be well as her levels are going up in leaps and bounds. She has to go back for another scan this coming Friday.

    Will keep you all updated and many thanks for all your help.

    Much love, Nicki
  • Hi Nicki,

    Good that her HCG is rising, how many weeks does she think she is??

    Fingers crossed for Friday xx
  • also, fingers crossed for friday! glad to hear hcg is raising!
  • Hi laujai,

    She thinks she's around 5-6 weeks but hopefully we'll know more on Friday.

    Many thanks for your support throughout this worrying/exciting time.

    Its nice to see that some of you other ladies are also getting BFP's, the support on here is second to none. I also hope that those of you that are still trying will be successful soon.

    My best wishes go out to all of you.

  • Thanks gussie, it means alot.
  • Glad the scan went well Nicki. if your daughter wants to join the site joining us in the 'pregnancy after miscarriage/ectopic' section would be the best place to start. Most girls who leave this section go to that one next, as sometimes we feel a bit anxious about joining a 'due in' month forum straight away. There's also a general pregnancy forum.
    I hope everything keeps going well for her, and you can all start to feel a bit more relaxed soon.
  • Gemgems13, many thanks for sending us in the right direction - you're right, she doesn't want to join the 'due in' just yet, but doesn't want to rub anyones nose in it on this forum.

    Many thanks to all of you and best wishes sent to everyone, hope to see you all 'on the other side' soon.

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