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Men and stage fright! Argh

Morning ladies!

So so so bloody frustrated today!!! As some of you know, last month the oh couldn't fire and it's carried on to this month now! Never ever been a problem until we decided to ttc. I know it's wrong but I've got to the stage where I'm giving him the cold shoulder afterwards - prob making it worse but so p*ssed off with him.
Have tried everything. I know we're going to be out again this month due to this, was hoping not to get so annoyed but I just can't help it.

Right, that my rant over - hope you're all ok! Xx


  • Hey wildthing, we had this problem last month. This month I've decided to keep all info to myself and not tell hubby anything about what time of my cycle it is to try and keep him more relaxed. So far its day 16 and we have been going for it since day 10 without a problem.
    I got annoyed last month, and it did make it worse. Have you tried keeping info to yourself and just jumping on him?!
  • Thank you so much for your replies - nice to know I'm not alone!
    Haven't said anything to him this month about ovulating etc.. just kept that to myself.

    Loobylou - good luck hun, with all that bd you must be in for a good chance this month!

    Wanna-Bump, thanks for the tips, will try that tonight. He deffo needs his mojo back and i'm going to have to try and bite my tongue and not show how I feel if it takes a while. Must learn to be more patient!! xx

    [Modified by: wildthing on May 19, 2010 10:25 AM]

  • [Modified by: wildthing on May 19, 2010 10:25 AM]

  • Hey,
    just wanted to say that we have had the same problem too and the more crucial the time the worse it got!
    I felt just like you in that my first emotion was anger and upset at my hubby but I know that it is not his fault. I just tried to think that if it was the the other way round I'm not sure I could manage it under such pressure!!
    So I have done the same as lou this month and not used OPK so that even I am not sure but it has really helped. We have also made a point of havign sex when I know I am not fertile at all so that we can just enjoy ourselves and this helped us remember why we used to do it!!

    Good luck!!

  • You have all been great thank you - I've got a chillout evening planned: wine, chinese and a massage - if it leads to more then so be it, if not it's no biggy.
    He's been fishing all day so hopefully relaxed. It must be a lot of pressure and I know i've not made it easier - time to stop stressing and time to chill and enjoy.
    Sooooo happy that we're not alone and that I have people to talk to away from the oh. Thanks again ladies. xx
  • Hey girls...

    I've had this to a certain extent, whereby my hubby can't do it in a morning...Its really strange & he gets so mad with himself.

    It's just a case of trying to take the pressure off...I always go on at him for not understanding how I feel as I always have to know where I am in my cycle...but I guess I seem to forget the pressure he might be under too... image

    Hope things are better tonight after your relaxing night...nudge nudgeimage xx
  • I'd be quite pleased with lack of morning - i am NOT a morning person! LOL.

    I totally understand when you say that you go on at him for not understanding how you feel - thats how i've been feeling. Wiping the slate clean now though and yes hopefully things will get back on track.....
    Babydust and lack of stage fright to us all! xx
  • Well I thought i had best share the good news - we've only gone and successfully bd!!!!! Woohoo!

    So chuffed, and I made sure I lay with my hips on a cushion for a while too which we laughed about, fingers crossed this is the start of getting back on track. Xxxx
  • Rachel from Friends - "Oh and by the's not OK, it doesn't happen to every man and it is a big deal!!!!!!!" or something like that!

    We aren't ttc til sept but I think this has happened to every man in their life when they are feeling pressured to perform. I think the worst thing you can do is get angry as it will make them think they are a failure and bruise their ego, thus making the problem worse. Best thing is to relax & not make it a big deal - which you've done - yay

  • Hurray wildthing!! And well done to Mr Wildthing! Its a great boost for the confidence isn't it after having problems.
  • Hurray wildthing!! And well done to Mr Wildthing! Its a great boost for the confidence isn't it after having problems.
  • Ha yeah that line from friends had sprung to mind! Yes hun a big well done to Mr Wildthing for his performance! Lol. We both felt great after and he's on a high today. I know we may still have the odd hiccup but what the heck, the man did good! Xx
  • Hey Wildthing - YAY for Mr Wildthing!
    Sorry I've been absent, a few weeks ago I was told by my consultant for my thyroid problem to stop TTC as it was dangerous, I was gutted ! But I've been to a private clinic since and they've said it's fine but now I have another problem.
    Think I have put too much pressure on OH to get the timing right that he wants a break from it all. He has actually refused to BD this week which I am absolutely gutted about....... and I know I've OV'd so it makes it even worse. I know that next month will be out too as he is off to the world cup, so looks like I don't have a choice but to put everything on hold. *CRY*
    But I will still lurk in here if OK with everyone, as I need to vent my obsession here and not to him LOL. I am actually at the stage where I may get him to do the deed in a cup and buy myself a turkey baister!
  • Yey to Mr & Mrs wildthing....You got it on :lol:

    Loving the friends that programme! image xx
  • *cuddles*- I was wondering where you were! Sorry to hear you're having a hard time at the moment, I know how much this means to you. Why did they say it would be dangerous and what did the other clinic say? And yes of course it is more than ok to hang around here - good to talk to the ladies on here, will stop the OH's feeling under pressure! Big hugs honey xxx
  • Hi WT
    they just said it would be dangerous for me & the baby, the private clinic said that my levels were coming back into range so it would be fine. It's all just so fraustrating as I have to have blood tests every few weeks so it could change again at any moment. And then when/if I do fall pregnant I will have to be monitored more closely and there is a higher risk of things not going to plan.
    Since OH and I had words the other day he has not mentioned ttc so nor have I. I am officially on the 2ww but think the chances are quite slim. We BD'd on Sunday then I had my peak on CBFM Tues/Wed so think that one chance was prob too early image and then I was so stressed the rest of the week anyway.
    So I guess you're on your 2ww now..... did you manage to squeze anymore out of Mr Wildthing LOL? xx
  • Oh gosh thats a lot for you both to think about, are you going to be having the blood tests with the private clinic? Good news about your levels returning to the right levels. It's probably best not to talk too much about it for a little while - come and talk to us on here!
    The little swimmers can hang around up there for a fair few days so you may be ok hun, fingers crossed.
    No, no more from Mr Wildthing! LOL, yes first day on the 2ww today, I know we haven't got a chance this month but i'm ok about it as just pleased we're starting to make progress! xx
  • I'm so pleased this isn't just us, i thought i was doing something wrong!

    My oh got freaked on our wedding night, because everyone "knew" what we were doing! lol.

    He was like it a little bit on honeymoon, but since then he's been fine since (we got married last august), until we started ttc this month, he said he got a bit freaked out becasue we've been so careful for the last 11 years, it was strange not using any protection. He obviously doesn't feel comfortable under pressure. I'm not going to talk to him about cycles or anything, so that he doesn't think its all i'm thinking about (which it is mostly).

    Fingers crossed for everyone.
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