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What am I doing wrong?

Ok, I'll try and keep this brief, I don't post on here much but I could really do with some advice.

My lo is almost two and has always been a daddys boy but just lately its getting really difficult. When its just me and him he's fine but as soon as daddy is home he doesn't want to know me. At first it was kind of sweet (ah he loves his daddy) but its got to the point now where he crys hysterically if his daddy leaves the room or if I attempt to do anything for him (ie take shoes off, take him for a bath)... if I'm the only option its fine but as I say as soon as he knows daddys home i may as well be a stranger.

I've ignored it as best i can and thought its just a phase, nothing personal etc but its really getting to me now and last night I just burst in to tears over it all... I know it sounds stupid but it feels like he hates me sometimes...

I work p/t and on one of my works days he goes to my mum and dad and they say he favours my dad over my mum, so is he just a mans man!? Tonight when my dad brought him home, he seemed happy to see me (dh was still at work) and even offered me a cuddle (very unusual)... but then daddy came home and I later took him up for a bath and he just stood at the top of the stairs crying for daddy!

Am I really that awful! I feel so alone as most boys are mummys boys! I don't feel I can talk to anyone about it as its like admitting my own son doesnt love me.. that probably sounds stupid but its how I feel!

Why is he like this, what can I do?

Amy x


  • awwwww hun! my son is like this,hes 3 and he worships the ground daddy walks on,tbh its never effected me like it has you but ive got twins who probably take my mind of it a bit,at the moment daniel is going throw a naughty patch so when daddy comes home and takes over it gives me that break but also h2b works away most of the time so when he does come home i like him to be with him as much as possible,can you not do something,like read a book have a nice bath,relax and enjoy the time on your own or if you dont want to do that i would have a word with your partner and when he baths your son,try and help ect ect and see if that helps

  • oh and one more thing and the most important..... YOUR NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG..... image
  • OH Hun, I'm absolutely ceratin he loves you!

    Does your husband work full time?

    My ds is the same, he'll cuddle into me unless his Daddy is there and then I get totally ignored (unless the playing gets rough and he gets a bump or something) He prefers my hubby to play with him and do all the fun stuff, baths, meal times and I'm just on standby for if he gets upset.

    I find my LO sees dh as the 'fun one', I'm the one that moves him always from plug sockets and tells him off for throwing things and that's why I think he tends to go to him as soon as he steps though the door in the mornings (does nightshift)

    Hopefully, it's just a phase! Please don't let it get you down, xx
  • Ah your not doing anything wrong my lo does this but even worse with my mil!! It's so embarrasing she actually pities me like she thinks it means he loves her more. He is so fab with me but when she's there all he wants is nanna even he falls and hurts himself or something, I know it doesn't mean anything though, honestly don't take it personally I actually think it's a good thing if a baby is not clingy just to it's mum
  • I feel your pain. It could well just be a phase though, my boy was terrible for this a few months ago although he's actually having a mummy phase right now and giving me loads of kisses and cuddles. Before though it was all about Daddy and when we visit the in-laws we all get sacked and grandad is the only one who is allowed near him. He is just a man's man. He'll even ignore me at toddler group if there's a Daddy there (not necessarily his own daddy, anyone's will do!).
    Your boy loves you, he's probably just doesn't appreciate you as much because he sees you more often - harsh though that is. I work from home and am literally always with my son so he takes my company for granted to an extent. Daddy is around much less and still has plenty of novelty value.

    It's still me he comes running to when he hurts himself though and me he shouts for when he wakes in the morning - he loves me really!
  • Oh yes, I know this feeling!!! My two are exactly the same, they totally worship the ground that daddy walks on and he can do no wrong in their eyes lol! I'm a SAHM so with the youngest constantly and with DS before and after school. OH is away with work 2 or 3 days a week so it's mummy that does all the necessary stuff~the disciplining, helps DS do his reading books and homework, gets them to tidy up every night and packs them off for baths and bed nice and early when she's all childrened out lol! Daddy on the other hand is all about the fun stuff, the days out at weekend, the holidays, the ice cream etc. I think MrsC06 has it spot on with the fact that the children take our company for granted cos we're the ones with them more. And I too get a strange sense of satisfaction from the fact that they only want me when they've hurt themselves or are poorly!! I know my munchkins love me and I'm sure your LO thinks mummy's fab too.
  • Thank you all for your comments.

    I guess its hardest to take on the days when I've been at work and daddy's been the one at home, he still favours daddy. But we have fun when its just us two so guess I need to just try and ignore it and enjoy the time we do have.... maybe he will grow out of it - if not the I guess I just need to hope that when we get round to no2, that one is a MUMMYS boy/girl! lol

    Amy x
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