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Poorly boddlers - manners / acting out

Hey guys

My darling little ball of energy is so run down. She has been poorly for 2 weeks now with cold, conjunctavitis & now (like me) a chest infection. She's off food, not sleeping well & crying loads (taking me back to baby days)

Not settled in day, normal things don't seem to bring her joy atm.

My questions are these:

is it normal for boddler behaviour to really worsen during periods of sustained sickness?

Should I be worried about my usual boddler parenting (going through a very assertive stage anyway so having to do a lot of boundary-setting)?

I've found her manners & behaviour to be really bad last week or so. Glimpses of my cheerful little cherub but rarely. I worry she's not coming back. :/

sure it's normal but she's not been sick like this as a boddler. She was as a baby & because her eating deteriorated then, so did her happiness, energy etc. She was more keen for cuddles then tho. Now, everything is 'NOOOOOO' and crying if not allowed biscuit or if spies dummy.

I've not allowed her dummy other than sleep, which is our rule. I've given in a wee bit tho on snacks as she's hungry but just doesn't want meals. Aiming for healthy snacks but definitely less strict if she doesn't eat meals.

Do usual rules apply? I feel I need to be a bit lenient but don't want all the good work to backfire! Keep telling myself when she is better, can revert back to usual standards. But will the inconsistency lead to her being confused about boundaries?

Thx Bids. So busy ATM but sickness abating -YES!

XXXXXXXX

Replies

  • this sounds just like DD at the moment except she is still eating.

    she has been teething badly for the last 2 weeks and had actually cut 5 back teeth and 2 front ones in the last week. so she has been short tempered, lots of night waking, lots and lots of tantrums when she cant get her own way, like if hse wants the remote control, or doesnt want to go in the buggy, wants a fruit shoot etc.

    with regards to her behaviour i am just taking the business as usual, so with tantrums i just continue to ignore her and dont give in (luckily tantrums only last for a minute or two at the most).

    she is seriously testing boundries too, but despite her being out of sorts i am just doing what i always do. saying that she is always sweetness and light for everyone else

  • ahr, so not just us. Isn't it knackering! We've still got loads of teeth to come too aggh although am pretty sure she has cut some during this illness period but I daren't examine too closely in case I get a disgruntled bite!!
  • forgot to add, last week in sainsburys DD was in a strop, i think she knocked herself and because i didnt take her out of the trolley straight away she threw a full on strop, i tried out of desperation to quiet her down that i gave her my keys to play with, such a bad move, she took the keys then threw them full forse as a random guy looking at the shelves, luckily he jumped out the way in time.

    as we were going round in full strop mode an old woman muttered 'good grief' while an family with 3 kids, one being a little older than DD just looked at us and smiled that 'knowing' weve been there kinda smile.

    found a few more teeth today so we are up to 14 now so only 6 more to go

  • We've had 4 and a half weeks of hell here since Skye had her MMR jab :roll: Couple that with a cold for the last 3 weeks nearly (maybe hayfever??), gastroenteritis for a week, and one new tooth with 5 more threatening, IT'S NOT FUN!!! :\(

    And yes, her feeling well out of sorts has meant a very short fuse and major strops when she doesn't get wat she wants, and she has now started to slap us too image She knows it's wrong, and then says "aaaaahhhh" afterwards and cuddles us, but it's so infuriating. I'm trying very hard to keep my cool, but on occasion I can't help but snap.

    The food side of things went downhill with the tummybug and teething too, and I have resorted to purees occasionally just to get some food in her. Things do seem to be on the up though at last now she's over her tummy bug and one tooth has broken through. She taken to biting my shoulder sometimes though when her gums are sore, OWWW :x

    I think trying to adopt a slightly less strict approach when Skye's been off colour has helped, and I have defo relaxed the food side of things just to ensure she at least has something. We are going back to the usual routine slowly now and it doesn't seem to have had any detrimental effect so far...fingers crossed.

    Iz & Skye x

    PS Glad to hear the sickness is easing for you!
  • I'm sorry she's so poorly. Me, I would make allowances I think (haven't been in this situation yet myself, thankfully). I think I would just pick her up and cuddle her (instead of employing usual tactic of ignoring her) when stropping, and rather than tell her off or say no just remove her from the situation. All this without saying anything so she doesn't think I'm encouraging the behaviour, even if I'm not taking as hard a line as usual.

    Juliet and Lily seem quite different characters though so I don't know if my tactics would be appropriate for Juliet.

    Get better soon, all poorly Bidboddlers.
  • Hehe Bidboddlers! More tomorrow when off work x
  • Hehe Bidboddlers! More tomorrow when off work x
  • Hey thanks for replies, girls.

    I'm pleased to report Juliet came right again on Saturday which was excellent timing as we had friends up from London for a BBQ and the weather was perfect. Ju totally picked up and was enjoying running and playing outdoors yay!

    Have noticed a massive difference in her behaviour. Have decided she is definitely going through a phase where she has massive tantrums over not being allowed (mostly) biscuiits but now she's better, it seems 'normal' whereas before we were having the badass tantrums AND constant crying, lack of interest in things she normally loves.

    So, a much better and better-behaved boddler but still very much testing the boundaries. Don't know what the sudden obsession with biscuits is? Especially as she eats like a bird at mealtimes so it's a tough one.

    PTB - I think they're different characters but that technique sounds a good one to try next time (pray let there not be one during toddlerdom!!)

    Hope Skye is feeling better soon too, and yours xo

  • Hey thanks for replies, girls.

    I'm pleased to report Juliet came right again on Saturday which was excellent timing as we had friends up from London for a BBQ and the weather was perfect. Ju totally picked up and was enjoying running and playing outdoors yay!

    Have noticed a massive difference in her behaviour. Have decided she is definitely going through a phase where she has massive tantrums over not being allowed (mostly) biscuiits but now she's better, it seems 'normal' whereas before we were having the badass tantrums AND constant crying, lack of interest in things she normally loves.

    So, a much better and better-behaved boddler but still very much testing the boundaries. Don't know what the sudden obsession with biscuits is? Especially as she eats like a bird at mealtimes so it's a tough one.

    PTB - I think they're different characters but that technique sounds a good one to try next time (pray let there not be one during toddlerdom!!)

    Hope Skye is feeling better soon too, and yours xo

  • hey sorry I did a huge reply to this just after you posted it and BE ate it and havent got round too replying again!
    Am glad ju is all good now tho (it must be that kiwi in her that she knew you were having a BBQ, kiwis never miss a good barbie hehe!)

    Josh is obsessed with biscuits and snacks in general even tho he eats like a horse!
    He knows there is one cupboard (up high) that has all of his museli bars, rice cracker etc in it and he is always going in to the kitchen and pointing up at it until you get him something image

    Hope all the bidboddlers are feeling better soon
    xx
  • Juliet constantly points up on bench to where I keep my snacks out....I think I need to hide my adult stuff! I have to guard pantry too as if door left open, she's in like a shot & straight to Juliet shelf, pullling out snacks and bringing them to me to open...if I say no - tantrum!

    I need more rice cakes & healthy snack options in the house now she's a little snack machine!

    Hehe good call on the kiwi barbie!!! She was that shocked by sun AND barbie occurring on same day, she was jolted from her sickness!!
  • Abby definitely knows where her snacks are. We have a box in her nappy bag and she will either open the bag and get it out or drag the bag to one of us and say "ack, ack". At my parents she goes to the kitchen, points to the cupboard and says "iscuit" - that always works because my parents are the most besotted grandparents ever. They were amzingly strict with me and my sister, but Abby is their pride and joy. :roll:

    Abby hasn't been very well over the last couple of days so I've been a little bit lenient over meals. She can have just fruit and yogurt if she wants but not just biscuits. However she is generally a good eater so I'm not overly worried.

    As she is such a spirited individual saying "no" rarely works so we have adopted the naughty corner technique. It works surprisingly well. Abby will even sit for 90 seconds in the corner of a crowded pub when in "time-out". They also use the technique at nursery as she will fight (or even smirk) whilst being told off but can't stand being ignored.

    Hope Juliet et al are feeling better soon,
    H xx
    H xx
  • I think I need to hide my adult stuff!

    imageimage

    Agreed!!
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