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Having a baby over aged 40, is it ok?
I dont see anything wrong with it. So I was surprised that the BE poll said 50/50 result.
I dont think 40 is too old. Maybe over 46 but 40 doesnt seem too old to me, if they parents are young spirited, healthy, stable etc
I am 28 so its not from a personal point of view (although my mum was 41 when she had my little brother and it made no difference to his upbringing etc)
Just wondering what the 50% who thought it was too old's reasons were
(not an arguement just genuine curiosity)
I dont think 40 is too old. Maybe over 46 but 40 doesnt seem too old to me, if they parents are young spirited, healthy, stable etc
I am 28 so its not from a personal point of view (although my mum was 41 when she had my little brother and it made no difference to his upbringing etc)
Just wondering what the 50% who thought it was too old's reasons were
(not an arguement just genuine curiosity)
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Replies
Now i read in the paper yesterday about a 66 year old having triplets, now i think thats just plain wrong!
I personnally dont think 40 is too old, a lady i use to work with was TTC for 20 year and finally fell when she was in her mid 40s, she is a wonderfully mother!!
I agree with cloclo 50s and 60s i think is too old!! a child wouldnt have their mother for a huge part of their life and i dont think that is far. I find it hard to keep up with LO let alone 60 yr old?! The fact that they have to ahve IVF at that age is just natures way surely?
Maybe the 50/50 split is for the OVER part and not 40?
xx
Blue Gecko and Jensen 24 days
It does annoy me that when male celebrities who are in their 60s and 70s have babies with their trophy wives, they are applauded and celebrated. To me that's just as wrong as a woman in her 60s doing it.
Having said that, if I had met a 60 year old and fallen in love with him (doubt it - haha), then of course I would be trying for a baby.... It would be a selfish act though.
fair enough i understand people divorce/can't have children with a partner etc but i think in my dad and his wife's case it was just a selfish decision to have another child (their oldest is now 9/10). they had one when my dad ws a sensible age (his wife is my age!!!!) but i personally don't think she put the ideas/needs of a child first when deciding to have another. i may think differently if i didn't hate her with a passion lol or if my dad was full fit, well, able bodied etc but he's not, there's a very good chance my brothers are going to lose their dad while they're still children. also my dads wife was actually talking about starting to try for a third baby last year, which i just think is ridiculous. but thats just my opinion on my screwed up family.
as i say i think anytime in your 40s is fine if you're fit and healthy and in a position to have a baby but once you're 50+ you need to weigh up whether its the right thing for a baby, not just yourself. xxx
My nan was 42 I think when she has my mum, but my mum was 21 when she has my sis and 22 with me, so I know it from both ways
Personally I wouldn't want to have one later in life, but that is just me
xx
but if another women wanted to have a child at 40 it is entirwely her and her partners desicion.
also whilst im here-its polls like this that cause upset to people about are they they old or too young to have children. why cant all the journilist just except we are all just very happy to be mummys-regardless of our ages!!
Those of us who have chosen and have sucessfully had a baby in our 20s and 30s should count ourselves lucky. There by the grace of god...
I am one of those women who had babies in her twenties (first marriage) and now again in her forties(second marriage).....and I do not think that 40+ is too old to have a baby. Its interesting that most of the comments are about the mum being 40+ and not the dad. My DH is 50 next birthday, so does that make him too old as well???
Becoming a mum again in my 40's IS different to that of being in my 20's, but not for any negative reasons, its brilliant and we just feel totally blessed that we were lucky enough to have created an expression of us both in one person, regardless of our age.
My husband was widowed with three children, aged between 9 and 22 and you just never know what life will bring, so I respect that some opinions are fixed on ' i wouldnt have a child in my 40's' but a life changing situation may just alter that mind set .
Also, rather than cringing at the 'embarrassment' of being an older parent, my DH and I have both been mistaken as the grandparents (not that we look old) but if we have been out with our daugther, (my step daughter) who is 27, everyone assumes that our lo is hers.......but thats just how judgemental society is and we just laugh and it causes more embarrassment for them when we tell them that lo is ours. And then we get the 'oh was lo planned?!" and 'oh, was lo a surpise?!" - that bit i find rude!
If your body and heart are capable of the prospect of a baby in your 40's then I think its a fabulous time to have a baby.
Inidividual circumstances are so different but I can't believe so many people were against this in the poll. Most women have not been through the menopause by age 40 so I can't see why some people are saying that menopause is that much of an issue... and in that case are you trying to say that those poor women who go through early menopause have been told by 'nature' that they should not have children?
(Not trying to cause an argument, just love a good debate lol)
I can't see any problem with a woman in her 40s having children as long as she has children for the right reason, just like anyone else.
Anyway, I'm waiting to be attacked here but I'll say hat I need to no offence meant.
I dont think it is a brilliant idea as such to wait that long to have children. Our bodies as woman are programmed to be most fertile when we are in our early twenties, and the risks of complications rise after 25...why? Becase our eggs start to be less productive and there is more risks of the child sufferring certain problems as the mother gets older (I.e downs)
now, in saying this, I do not have anything against older woman having children but at the same time I feel it can be a rather selfish decision to wait all those years and then start trying too late and either end up heartbroken or suffer years of torment on IVF. Those who conceive naturally are a slightly different aspect but I still feel that if you want children you should consider trying in your 30s and being reallistic about your age and health.
It's all different now because woman want a career and a stable background Themselves before children but the truth is there is never a perfect moment to have children...your house could always be slightly better and there could always be a bit more put by. We also crae to hve lived a life before children so we don't look back and think 'what if' but my OHs parents are now 45 and they're children are 24, 19 and 15. They go on beautiful holidays every year, go away on weekend breaks, have a gorgeous house and a great social life. They had their children and enjoyed their youth with them and now they are enjoyng the benefits of a grandchild whilst they are still able to run around the garden with them all day.
I'm really sorry of anyone is upset by my remark. If you have a baby after 40 don't take it as a personal attack, it's just my opinion x
My parents were only 19 when they had me and are now 55 and 57, they are still young enough to be active grandparents but the way I see it is that they have had their children and much as my mum loves to spend time with our daughter, she is equally happy to hand her back and enjoy her life. My parents raised their own children, it is not their responsibility to raise mine. I accept that I will be an 'old' grandparent ( I hope Poppy waits to have children of her own) but in my opinion, that's how grandparents should be! A bit fairy story I suppose but my view and obviously not the same view as others.
And Mrs CP, definately better to wait till later and can support your child than have them young and have to rely on financial support to help raise them!
Not meant to cause arguements at all, just my view on things!
xx
Some of you may/may not know I have 5 children. All with the same man (my husband) we were 21 and 23 when we had our first 2. In my honest opinion wayyyyyyyyyyy too young ( for my life..not judging others) However, thats how it happened. OH developed cancer while I was preg with our 2nd and we nearly lost him to it. We were that we prob could not have anymore children. We got on with our lives but my career had taken a large dent has had my confindence in the work place. I was resentful that I could not go out with our friends as much as I would like and money was not in plentiful supply. Don't get me wrong, I loved my kids to pieces and I loved been their mum but, non of our friends had kids and I felt isolated and left out.
Totally by suprise we find out we were expecting number 3 when I was 34. That to me was a PERFECT age to have kids. I wish we had started our family at that age. Then we find number 4 on the way aged 35 and number 5 aged 37 (38 at delivery) IF i had not had five at that point I would have gone on to have more well into my 40's. My OH and I have money, time, patience and a whole wealth of experience to teach our kids. I find this time round feels more 'natural' to be their mum. I kept expecting someone to come and take the other 2 away and tell me off for playing 'mum' to them..lol
As for age been a factor in your health in pregnancy in my case I was worse when I was younger. I had a very rough time with my first 2. I was suffering eating disorders, tiredness (nightclubs etc) and a bit of a whild child existence until I fell preg. With my first I was seriously aneamic, she ended up breech and I was borderline diabetic. With my 2nd I was again seriously aneamic, did not gain enough weight and I ended up induced at 36 weeks as been outside was better for him than been inside (OH was at the time thought to be losing his battle for cancer and I was a mess) My 3rd I flew through pregnancy and had text book back to back birth to a huge 8lb 14 oz boy. My 4th also NO medical worries and I delivered a whopping 9lb 4 0z boy. My 5th I did have a messy pregnancy. I had placenta previa an d spent a lot of time on bed rest. This was more due to the amount of pregnancies than my age. I deliverd Amelia by EMCS at 35 weeks. She is now a healthy 2 yr old.
OH and I say that though we never thought we would do it all in our 20's and again in our late 30's we would NOT change it for the world. They keep us young, they keep us going, they keep us active.
As for the OP question.... well, NO I dont think 40 is too old I think the BE poll is not a shock tho. Most posters on here are 16 to 30 When I was that age I thought 40 was ancient. Now I think it is young!! lol
So long as you are under 50 and are healthy/active etc then at the end of the day its no one elses business. Both have pros/cons. So long as you are 'ready' no matter what age then that is all that counts surely????
[Modified by: dee dee on June 17, 2010 11:35 AM]
[Modified by: dee dee on June 17, 2010 11:40 AM]
I've been lucky enough to be able to have ds at what is the right time for me, i'm 23, i've been to uni, worked in my chosen career for a fee years, have a stable relationship, have just bought our first house and we conceived without really trying (our first month of not trying not to). There is no such thing as a perfect or ideal age, because it's different for everyone and each individuals circumstances and unless there is a condition or illness (not age-related) that affects that individual then if it is a natural conception there's nothing wrong with it
I've been lucky enough to be able to have ds at what is the right time for me, i'm 23, i've been to uni, worked in my chosen career for a fee years, have a stable relationship, have just bought our first house and we conceived without really trying (our first month of not trying not to). There is no such thing as a perfect or ideal age, because it's different for everyone and each individuals circumstances and unless there is a condition or illness (not age-related) that affects that individual then if it is a natural conception there's nothing wrong with it