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Bonding at birth
Just out of interest: who experienced that instant rush of love when they first met their baby, and who found it took time?
It hit me like a sledgehammer with my first. I felt I already knew her. I also got it with my second, but it was different - it took me a lot longer to feel I "knew" her. At 3 months she is still more of a mystery to me than dd1 ever was - I'm still "learning" her. I think this is maybe because I was convinced she was a boy during my pregnancy.
How about you?
It hit me like a sledgehammer with my first. I felt I already knew her. I also got it with my second, but it was different - it took me a lot longer to feel I "knew" her. At 3 months she is still more of a mystery to me than dd1 ever was - I'm still "learning" her. I think this is maybe because I was convinced she was a boy during my pregnancy.
How about you?
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with dd2 it was all so easy and wonderful and that gush literally overcame me and i had that feeling all the first night! I dont know if it was cos i knew what to expect or what? strange eh.
These days the love I feel for him is almost overwhelming. I would never say I *know* him though. He is still full of mystery and wonderful surprises. (Today's was the moment I found him sitting on the floor holding a pen and an old shopping receipt, chatting away to himself and looking for all the world like a miniature version of his father when he is hard at work. :lol But oh, yes, I love him.
Lo's 2 & 3 were popped straight onto my tummy - which is a wonderful thing - but I think my natural reaction was clean him/her up lol!
With ds1, he was taken away by the nurses at first, but once on the ward, I def got it - I couldn't stop looking at him, prob when he was about an hour old.
Ds2 - maybe not straight away - I found I missed my toddler when I was in hosp. Once home though - for days and days and had this euphoric feeling of being totally in love with my baby - it was wonderful! Better than any feeling ever.
DD - a v traumatic labour and I can't remember exactly when it happened - but I know it did lol! Think it might have been day3 - I was totally overwhelmed with emotion that day.
I agree with THG - all my children are full of fascinating secrets!
xx
I think due to both of these things, although I loved him, I feel my love for him grew day by day in the early days! Although I must say I still think I love my little man more each day! I'm so happy to be his mummy
I think I did feel a bit guilty that I didn't have that rush though, but I now know it has made no difference to the amount I love him! x
With dd2 I felt more confident so I wasn't so overwhelmed and I was really able to enjoy the feeling. I think the bonding was easier with dd2 as I was more able to understand why she was crying and so more able to meet her needs.
I think I was more surprised by how fiercly defensive I became, I remember biteing someones head off for saying that my baby cried a lot (when she had colic), and the other day in the supermarket when some woman pushed my pram out of the way so she could get to the milk, she had a few choice words sent her way!
Unfortunately, due to confusion between the nurses in theatre, she was taken up to special care without being shown to either me or her dad. I was given a pic of her which was taken at just under an hour old about two hours after i came out of theatre but didnt actually "see" her for the first time until she was 36 hours old. This was also the first time I held her. They brought her from special care to High Dependancy where I was and let me hold her for five mins. I just felt so stunned that such a tiny weak-looking little girl was proving herself to be so strong. They whisked her back to special care but then brought her back about four hours later and let me keep her with me for about 15 mins that time. After that, I saw her the next day for an hour in special care and then the next evening they brought her to me on the ward and the floodgates opened!! I just kept saying "She's here, she's here" to my mum who was with me at the time.
i think i didnt feel the rush due to how ill i was in my pregnancy though. i had very severe HG was in and out of hospital, was put on high dose chemotherapy anti-sickness tablets as nothing worked (even those!), and she wasn't planned etc etc so all in all not a nice pregnancy and i just wanted it over with mostly.
however as much as i hated pregnancy and will NEVER do it again i ADORE my little girl and did feel like i knew her immediately. i dont have any little bro/sisters so never really been around babies apart from my best friends, but that was 5 years ago now. but i seemed to know instinctively what she needed and when and still seem too now.
The love I have for him has grown every day since and is now so fierce its frightening!
I was really happy when she was born, but felt completely overwhelmed and remember thinking "oh my God, how do I look after her"! For the next two days in hospital I was paranoid that I was getting everything wrong and that the midwives thought I was a rubbish mother.
The feelings of love gradually built up over the next few weeks, and now I love her more than anything and wouldn't be without her. I know I do when she wakes me up at 3.30am and I'm completely shattered, but then I see her big blue eyes looking up at me and I really don't mind.
Sx
I am hoping I feel it for number 2 - but I think that will depend on the birth.
Once she got a little older and was smiling and interacting more things got better and better. Now I just love her so much and can't believe how detached I felt in the early days. I really hope it's different for baby no 2. I know that if I have another baby who I KNOW shouldn't be crying like that I won't listen to people who say 'babies cry' and follow my instincts and ask to try Infant Gav straight away.