Too scared to test!

Hi ladies,

The title says it all really!

I've been actively TTC for about 7 months now but been unprotected for over a year, been using CBFM for 2 months. First month all highs, one low then AF. This month it showed my peak. Me and OH bd'd every high day, skipped the first peak day coz I was working away, bd's 2nd peak day and the high day after that.

AF was due yesterday, but hasn't shown. Since Monday I had been getting AF-type cramps, but nothing too bad. Since last night cramps have disappeared, and this morning I threw up. Been feeling really dodgy all day kinda like I have a hangover.

So....I have a test in front of me and I'm too scared to do it. I wasn't going to test until the morning because I didn't have any but I mentioned to my friend at work that I'd been feeling ropey and she went out to the chemist and got me one (to put my mind at rest, she doesn't know we're TTC).

It's a FR, which says you don't have to wait until morning and I really want to test, but I'm scared. For whatever it says. If it's neg I'll be gutted, but I'm also scared it'll be pos. I really want a baby but after trying for so long I was starting to think that it might never happen naturally. Now that it perhaps has, AF never been late before, I suddenly don't feel ready.

AAARGH!!!!! I know there is only one way to find out, but I really don't think I can bring myself to do it.

Not expecting any advice, it just helps me to write things down and get my thoughts organized!



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