babies, trying and grief all rolled into one!
hi girls. as a few of you know from me being on here a while, its been a bit of a rollercoaster for me lately. i lost my amazing dad in april and before that, had a lot of trouble with my SIL when she got pregnant. we made up after dad died and she had a beautiful little boy on sunday. he is amazing and i love being an auntie. its just now i feel so sad!!im not sure if its the grief talking, but she is there with a little baby i've been longing for (which makes me mega broody) and i'm dissappointed that its not me, like a selfish little madam. then i look at her dad and feel like my kids wont have a grandad and i'm not sure if i want to do this baby thing without my dad its so god damn horrible feeling like this... sorry for the long long post, i think i just needed to talk xx
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It''s all still so so recent for you. You're bound to be in bits. It sounds daft but I often talk to my dads photo and have a good cry and I always feel better. As Nic said, you're dads watching over you and he's with you every step of the way. When you do become a mommy, you're babies WILL have a grandad as you will ensure his memory lives on. When they're older, you can show them photographs and tell them about his character. My DH's dad died recently as well & every year on his bday, my SIL lets the kids release balloons to give to grandad in heaven.
I wish I could do something to take your sadness away, we're all here if you need us hun x
You are really brave to come on here and talk about how you feel and nobody will think badly of you for being honest about how you feel about stuff.
That's why we are here - to say the things that you couldn't say to other people! So feel free to let rip agan when you need it!
No more tears though or you'll have us all at it! haha!!
xxxxx
you will get ur bfp soon! sending u massive hugs! xxxxxx
(((((big hug)))))
Sorry to gatecrash here but i know how your feeling with losing your dad.
My father died last April when i was 30 weeks pregnant. He never met his beautiful amazing grandaughter and it hurts me everyday but i'm determined to make sure she knows who he was and how amazing and loved he was.
I have an apple tree in the garden which her bedroom over looks and when she gets up on a morning we point to it and talk about grandads apple tree. When she's older she'll be able to pick apples from it. Dad would have loved that as he was very green fingered.
I also have a picture of him, me and mum on my wedding day that is next to her cot so he's the last thing she see's on a night and the 1st thing she see's in the morning. She now points to other pictures in the house and says grandad which sad as it is, is lovely at the same time.
My heart totally goes out to you hun. Its terrible and its something you may never fully recover from. Its his birthday tomorrow and i'm dreading it. But once you have a little bundle of joy in your arms, things will get better. It has for me.
Good luck TTC!
Sending lots of love.
Vicky xxxx
i'll think of you tomorrow as its going to be such a hard day for you, at least we know how each other feels xxxxxx