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advice needed please as cant go on like this

my son is 10 years old and due to go to big school next year and I'm really worried.
He was born at 34 weeks and weighed 4lb 3 oz. He was only in an incubater for 24 hours and did quite well but had 'failure to thrive'. He didnt seem to put on much weight despite having a good appetite. He was always getting infections and his immune system would go into overdrive.
Over the past few years his behaviour has been difficult to cope with. when he was about five he would go into the kitchen and would pick up food or fluid eg juice. He would then empty it over the floor in the lounge. The next morning I would get angry and he would say, it wasnt him. Another time he tipped his brothers pushchair over with him in it. It isnt premeditated, it's impulsive behaviour. He isnt an aggressive lad and can be very polite, but I'm worried for him as it upsets him. A few weeks ago he went on holiday with his dad and step mum. THey said that he pushed his 10 month old sister in the stomach for no reason. He constantly craves attention and despite having three others, I try to find time alone with him. Over the years he's been seen by several professionals and is currently having some support at school.
I'm sure he has ADHD but no one seems to want to assess him properly for this. Each time I speak to someone about it, theyre surprised he hasnt been assessed but dont do anything about it.
Just before his second birthday he was seen by a peadiatrician who said his development was delayed and couldnt understand why he wasnt potty trained image She wanted to get him into a special nursery to help him. I saw the same pead again when he was about six and she blamed me for his problems, saying it was because I was depressed!
I dont know what to do or who to speak to.
I want to do the best for my son.
HELP :\?


  • Oh hun big hugs to you, that is a lot to cope with, You need to go to your gp and make them listen, if they wont, then demand a 2nd opinion, it is so hard when no one listens to you, my son is 3 and has been under review of the paed since he was 18 months old, I keep explaining about his difficulties and his behaviours but like you there are several times when I feel like no one is listening, it is a hard fight but finally after 2 years we are starting to get somewhere, keep fighting, try and get the school on side too, can you speak to the SENCO and ask them to speak to the relevant agencies, sometimes they listen to them more than you. (((((HUGS))))) xxxx
  • Thanks Hayley,
    The fist time I saw someone from SENCO, they said that they hadnt heard his name mentioned before, therefore his behaviour at school must be ok ie it must be due to home life. I felt as though they werent listening to me.
    Then his teacher came out to see me one afternoon and told me he had punched a boy in the face and made his nose bleed. She told me that she had to consider sending home at lunch times, but agreed that he isnt an aggressive boy.
    So the next day I phoned the school and told them I was taking him out for the morning so that I could talk to him. I bought a book and together we talked about his feelings, his likes and dislikes and wrote them down. Then I went to school and asked to speak to the woman from SENCO. His teacher said that he was a bright boy but had problems with concentration and organization. He is now having some support at school.
    I feel if they could give him a proper assessment and a proper diagnosis i can feel confident his needs will be met at high school.
    Sorry for the waffle.
    I agree about having to keep explaining about your sons behaviour. My daughter was due to see the pead in June but is still waiting for an appointment. She has some developmental delay and possible autism ( doesnt rain but it pours lol). She was born at 28 weeks and had a small bleed so we were warned she might have autism.
    I really hope your son gets all the support that he needs and you deserve a big hug too.
  • They are assessing Isaac for autism, but he also has sensory processing disorder and hypermobility through out his body which in turn means he has low muscle tone and poor core stability, so far the occupational therapists are the only people I have got anywhere with, he is waiting to see a nuerologist too but we have been waiting ages for that appointment, they sent us an appointment for when we were on holiday so we had to cancel and there isn't another paediatric nuero clinic until end October image So far we have had every excuse ranging from because he is the youngest of 4 his development is bound to be delayed and he is also bound to be a bit spoilt and babied too much, to blaming it on the fact that hubby was seriously ill when he was 4 months old which meant us spending a lot of time going back and forth to hospital for 6 months, not to mention the stress it caused us as a family at the time. It just makes me so mad that you have to fight to get people to listen.

    I also joined another forum for support for families of children with ASD or waiting for diagnosis, it is called asdfriendly, it is really helpful and has been loads of support.

    Take care H xx
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