Did you have your parents at hospital for support?
Hi Girls
This subject has probably been done loads before..
Basically I know its a really personal choice, but when you start the early stages of labour did you tell your mum or parents/family that it had started, so they come to hospital with you for support??
I have really mixed feelings, my mum is brilliant and is very kind and supportive, but at the same time can be over overpowering and controlling. I want me and hubby to have the labour and birthing expereince together as hubby is my rock, but if mum started dictating to me telling me how to relax, breathe, telling hubby what to do, taking over, I think a few sparks could fly.
At the moment I'm thinking I won't tell anyone except hubby, then after the birth call family to let them know, but I feel like I would like my family involved too, but in a controlled, unstressful situation.. and I'm not sure this is possible with my mum!
Its a tough decision, and I know with the actual birth part only hubby would be there, I'm not sure, and keep changing my mind.. what did you do??
This subject has probably been done loads before..
Basically I know its a really personal choice, but when you start the early stages of labour did you tell your mum or parents/family that it had started, so they come to hospital with you for support??
I have really mixed feelings, my mum is brilliant and is very kind and supportive, but at the same time can be over overpowering and controlling. I want me and hubby to have the labour and birthing expereince together as hubby is my rock, but if mum started dictating to me telling me how to relax, breathe, telling hubby what to do, taking over, I think a few sparks could fly.
At the moment I'm thinking I won't tell anyone except hubby, then after the birth call family to let them know, but I feel like I would like my family involved too, but in a controlled, unstressful situation.. and I'm not sure this is possible with my mum!
Its a tough decision, and I know with the actual birth part only hubby would be there, I'm not sure, and keep changing my mind.. what did you do??
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Replies
I had my DH and Mum as my birth partners when i had DD. I didnt tell anyone i was in labour as i wanted DH/mum to make the calls once she was born.
Most hospitals/birth centres only allow a max of 2 people with you,so they would have to wait in the corridor for what could be hours and hours,and um Hours LOL
Once DD was born dh and I had some time just the three of us,and it was a real special time. Magical infact.
We then had both DH and my family come visit us the next day which i personally prefer.
Good luck whatever you decide x
It really IS personal choice. I'm sure some ladies have really needed and enjoyed having their family there and theres nothing wrong with that at all. I sometimes wish I had the sprt of relationship with my own mother that I wouldnt feel embarrased with my bits out, or in agony and stressed etc and also that my mum would back off at the appropriate times! I doubt she would, either that or she'd be permanently in and out having fags! NOT what I want around me thank you very much!
For me personally, we don't see the inlaws and my own parents have been a complete let down since the birth of my second so we wont be calling anybody up to come keep me company when my labour starts!!! We'll be doing our usual.......... into to hospital when labour starts and probably 4-6 hours later..... home again! for some private time and no pressure from anybody as they wont know! We also have two other children who we want to be the first to see our new baby.
We'll annouce the birth in our own time over the next one or two days to everyone - and then await the normal rubbish about how we have to host everybody whilst they drink our tea, ak 30 illion questions about my birth and dribble over my baby and pass it around!! lovely. Not.
A lot of ladies on here have lovely families and inlaws who they probably cant wait to share their news with, but there are also some like me who shudder at the thought of inlaws pacing the corridor waiting for the baby to come, and even poking their heads through the door???? [s-h-u-d-d-e-r-s]
For me its a very personal time, after all the baby is coming from my private parts! so its for me and my husband only, well and the midwife and consultant and maybe a student or two!! lol, then home to introduce to our two other children!
Its probably a lot easier on yourself and your partner to tell people AFTER the baby has arrived so you have chance to be alone/try breast feeding/get cleaned up/have a shower/sort out forms/dress your new baby and jut simply enjoy looking at the baby!
I'm sure you'll figure out whats best for you when the time comes, just dont be pressured into anything - its YOUR birth and things need to run smoothly for you so your needs come first and we need to feel in control of things as much as possible considering what we are going through!
Good luck!!
xx
[Modified by: tutandidamoon on August 16, 2010 07:10 PM]
I wouldn't want my mum there when I was in labour, as close as we are I think she'd struggle to see me in pain and that would make me less relaxed! She's asked to know when I was in labour with both of mine, but just so she knew, not to be there.
If you really want her there, explain that to hubby - but it's also important that hubby's wishes are considered too - although I think the mother's are more important during labour.
Dh kept everyone updated through the night and finally broke the good news in the early hours when evie was born
I am glad it was just dh and me, of course I couldn't wait to see mum when they came to visit later that day
xxx
I couldn't have done it without my mum there though, she didn't interfere at all, and actually really helped when telling me to breath etc, as hubby really wouldn't have had a clue (could I have actually stood looking at him anyway! - he wasn't allowed to touch me, talk to me or even look at me in labour! I'm afraid to say I was a right b!tch!!...both times!) I really think it helped having someone there who had been through it themselves and knew what was going on, oh wouldn't have known it was my waters that went and to press the emergency buzzer as baby was coming NOW, had it not been for my mum telling him! She's been there for the birth of both dd and ds and also at the births of my two nieces (she had to stop Sil from repeatedly hitting my brother round the back of the head-so I don't think I was that bad in comparison, lol!) and she will definatly be there for the birth of this one, however, I know plenty of people who are uncomfortable with having their mums with them, and there's no way I could do it American style with everyone in the room! I think a wait in the waiting room would just be boring and perhaps worrying for them, if it took a long time, time would just drag and they may just worry and be concerned they're not being informed, when it could just actually be nothing to tell them! I'm sure it would be a much nicer surprise to have the phone call saying they've become grandparents!
our hospital only allow 2 named birthing partners that cannot be changed and no visitors are allowed until you are on the ward
I am having my husband and a student midwife as my birthing partners, but definaltey would not want my mum and dad there during actual delivery!!! I just wondeed about the long labour/contractions part, and whether people had there folks there pacing up and down, I understand that obviously there would be restrictions about how many people in the room at once.. at the hospital I'm hoping to get to you get your own room guaranteed.
I think actually my mum should understand that this is a special time for me and husband with our first little one, my husband is incredible and I know he will be so strong and supportive!! I think I'll just see how it goes. X
You hav to do what you and your OH want - not what everyone else wants. xx
xx