Am I being unreasonable and why am I on such a downer
Hi
Please someone tell me if i need a slap and am being unreasonable. Will try to keep this short. When DH and I got married just over 12 months ago we found that the lead up to our wedding his family didnt show a lot of interest. Now I am 23 weeks pregnant I found his mum to be very supportive towards the beginning but not since my 12 week scan. I have no family over here so only have DH and his family. This is our first baby. When I had my 20 week scan not one of his family remembered or bothered to call us. I was really hurt.
My sister in law has been pregnant and is actually due her baby today. When she had her various scans we always kept in touch ringing to see how they went and to wish her well before etc. Well as none of them could be bothered to remember for us I have just taken a back seat with his family and dont bother email/txting/calling as I never get the same courtesous response.
Last night my father in law rang my DH to remind him his sister was going in for her section today. My DH has a bit miffed as he had called her over the weekend to wish her well and see how she was and she had not forgotten.
I feel really upset because it feels as though its OK for them to forget our important scan but when it comes to his sister we must all bow to her.
Maybe I am just being really hormonal, but instead of feeling happy about the new arrival today I feel really resentful and angry
Please someone tell me if i need a slap and am being unreasonable. Will try to keep this short. When DH and I got married just over 12 months ago we found that the lead up to our wedding his family didnt show a lot of interest. Now I am 23 weeks pregnant I found his mum to be very supportive towards the beginning but not since my 12 week scan. I have no family over here so only have DH and his family. This is our first baby. When I had my 20 week scan not one of his family remembered or bothered to call us. I was really hurt.
My sister in law has been pregnant and is actually due her baby today. When she had her various scans we always kept in touch ringing to see how they went and to wish her well before etc. Well as none of them could be bothered to remember for us I have just taken a back seat with his family and dont bother email/txting/calling as I never get the same courtesous response.
Last night my father in law rang my DH to remind him his sister was going in for her section today. My DH has a bit miffed as he had called her over the weekend to wish her well and see how she was and she had not forgotten.
I feel really upset because it feels as though its OK for them to forget our important scan but when it comes to his sister we must all bow to her.
Maybe I am just being really hormonal, but instead of feeling happy about the new arrival today I feel really resentful and angry
0
Replies
Up until 12 weeks of pregnancy it is all new and exciting and the novelty can soon wear off but that does not mean people don't care or not interested.
Communication is a 2 way thing and shutting yourself off only makes things worse.
Your scan was important to you (as it is for us all) but maybe they were waiting to hear from you - thats what my family do.
I don't think they are bowing to your SIL at all - she is having a baby today - that is a big deal, massive in fact and you shouldn't be feeling angry about it. Like the previous post says: having the baby is very different to a scan. How would you feel if this was the other way round?
You really need to sit and read your post again and try and think rationally about it all.
Maybe it's just all been blown out of proportion.
Why don't you call your mum and talk to her - is this resentment more to do with the fact that your family isn't close by to support you and share this with you?
I'm sorry if my reply comes across harsh, I don't mean it too.
All the best, xx
[Modified by: wildthing on August 23, 2010 01:25 PM]
I don't think you are being unreasonable hun, but you may be being a bit over sensitive? Which is normal and not a crime! I get upset about all sorts of silly things!
Try not to compare to your SIL. She is their actual daughter and they are bound to be pre-occupied with the new arrival due any minute! When your EDD gets nearer I bet they are just as interested in you and your baby.
You are obviously missing you family, especially as this is your first baby. Are they overseas?
Try and think positive. You have a SIL with whom you can swap baby tips and the cousins (your babies) could be really close little play mates!!
Sending lots of hugs xxx
I have had similar experiences in that mybest friend totally forgot that i had my 20 week scan the other day but i knew she had much more important things on her mind as she has been going through IVF and was waiting to test to see if it had worked.....Everyone has there own milestones and important things going on in their life but it doent mean they dont care about you or whats happening in your life.
Dont let Pg hormones put a rift between you and family members for no real reason, there will be times when they will be invaluable to you
lelly
xxxxx
so go for the deep breaths.
I remember your post about your scan last month and I think that for your own sanity you need to take those breaths and let it go - it's not good for you to harbour resentment like that.
Scans really aren't that big a deal for anyone other than the baby's parents. I'm sure you'll find the in laws all make a huge fuss of your baby once he's actually here.