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Childcare - Im screwed....
in Baby
Back in March my old employee told me I could only go back full time or not at all so I gave up my job and searched for a new part time one. I found one quite quickly and started at my new job at the beginning of May. When O was very tiny my step mum asked if she could help with childcare when I went back to work because she would love to look after her - she even got a part time job herself to help me out. She looks after her 2 mornings and my mum who also works part tme looks after her the other 2 mornings. Its working out great - no childcare costs and they get to see their grandaughter on a weekly basis. I love the hours too!
Yesterday when I picked O up my step mum turned around and as blunt as this and said 'im starting uni in 4 weeks so im going to have to call it a day as I need to think about myself'. Not even a sorry I may have to see how it goes, blah blah it was as blunt as that. I was in total shock. It wouldnt have been so bad if I had seen it coming or fi she hadnt asked to help out or if she had been doing it for a long time - ive only been back at work 4 months!
I left and as I got in to the car I burst in to tears. I just dont know what im going to do!! My mum is off sick at the moment (long story!) so has offered to look after O the other 2 mornings in the short term and im going to see if I can condense my hours into 3 longer days instead of 4 shorter ones so my mum although will still have her 20 hours a week still has 2 days to herself but at the end of October my mum will be off sick leave and finding herself a new job to fit in around O but I havent left her much time to work and im worried about her as well as myself! She is likely to 'not' work to help me but she cant afford not to work.
Its a tough one but we just dont earn enough to justify a day at nursery. I bring home ??700 a month and I would end up spending ??150 of that on nursery/childminder fees which I know doesnt sound alot but I would rather just not work than spend out on childcare but to be honest at the moment we need every penny of that ??700 as we have just moved to a bigger house so bigger mortgage etc and we are paying half of my salary to my hubbys mum to pay for a car loan we borrowed a few months back. We have about 8 months of that left and we are paying lots every month to get it paid back as quickly as we cann so we can be 'rich' each month again! We could reduce the payments but then we are looking at another 12 months + to pay it back if we do that and I hate having any kind of debt even if it is to a family member. The quicker its gone the quicker we get ??300 a month back!
Argggghhhhhhhh. Im not expecting any advice or anything I just needed to vent otherwise ill just sit and cry about it.
xxx
[Modified by: winnie1981 on 25 August 2010 09:13:16 ]
Yesterday when I picked O up my step mum turned around and as blunt as this and said 'im starting uni in 4 weeks so im going to have to call it a day as I need to think about myself'. Not even a sorry I may have to see how it goes, blah blah it was as blunt as that. I was in total shock. It wouldnt have been so bad if I had seen it coming or fi she hadnt asked to help out or if she had been doing it for a long time - ive only been back at work 4 months!
I left and as I got in to the car I burst in to tears. I just dont know what im going to do!! My mum is off sick at the moment (long story!) so has offered to look after O the other 2 mornings in the short term and im going to see if I can condense my hours into 3 longer days instead of 4 shorter ones so my mum although will still have her 20 hours a week still has 2 days to herself but at the end of October my mum will be off sick leave and finding herself a new job to fit in around O but I havent left her much time to work and im worried about her as well as myself! She is likely to 'not' work to help me but she cant afford not to work.
Its a tough one but we just dont earn enough to justify a day at nursery. I bring home ??700 a month and I would end up spending ??150 of that on nursery/childminder fees which I know doesnt sound alot but I would rather just not work than spend out on childcare but to be honest at the moment we need every penny of that ??700 as we have just moved to a bigger house so bigger mortgage etc and we are paying half of my salary to my hubbys mum to pay for a car loan we borrowed a few months back. We have about 8 months of that left and we are paying lots every month to get it paid back as quickly as we cann so we can be 'rich' each month again! We could reduce the payments but then we are looking at another 12 months + to pay it back if we do that and I hate having any kind of debt even if it is to a family member. The quicker its gone the quicker we get ??300 a month back!
Argggghhhhhhhh. Im not expecting any advice or anything I just needed to vent otherwise ill just sit and cry about it.
xxx
[Modified by: winnie1981 on 25 August 2010 09:13:16 ]
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Replies
totally out of order of mil as she would have been thinking about going back for a while so should have told you then...not 4 weeks before xx
hope you can sort something out x
I think you are going to have to make some descisions... We are also finding it pretty hard financially. I will go back to work part time, thur/fri/sat. It means I miss out on a weekend day, but saves us a childcare day.We too have just spent too much on a house and have a large mortgage. We are cutting back like mad and will not have a holiday or birthday pressies this year! Maybe sell your car? Get rid of the loan? Let out one of your rooms? My brother and sister in law have short term students at ??70 a week. I know what you mean about keeping the loan short, but it might be easier in the long run to spread it jsut a couple more months.
Good luck, I hope you sort things out.
Em x
We couldnt sell the car as hubby works 40 miles from home and I need my one to run O around and get myself to work.
We are normally soooo good with money. We used to have loads in savings and im really strict with what we spend our money on and stick to a tight budget but since O has come along the money has just gone!!!
Ive started a little jewellery business which is giving us pocket money but its not regular and we are saving whatever we make so we can have a week away somewhere next year because we havent been away since 2008.
xxx
Im not entirely sure how BIL and SIL get their students. Maybe gumtree? Have you thought about getting an au pair?
Em x
I have actually decided I may become a childminder myself. I am a qualified nursery nurse and we had said I would become one once we had another baby but im considering bringing it forward.
I guess these things happen for a reason....im still very very very angry though!!!
xxx
Child minding is a good option worth looking into, depending where you live you could always look into letting your room out too. I live in a university town and there are always visiting students/lecturers who would be happy to rent a room for a couple of weeks/month.
Good luck getting it sorted out.
Moomin x
[Modified by: *Moomin* on August 26, 2010 11:08 AM]
Whether its over childcare or over something completely different at the end of the day I have been let down by my own family with no remorse. The same family who would have had the same issues when my little sister was younger and she had to work therefore will know how I am probably now feeling.
xx
I am unable to go back to work at all because we have no close family near by, H2b works 13 hour days and we just can't seem to match up the logistics of a part time & available nurseries (although we are trying!!) I would have been over the moon to have 4 days free childcare a week and be getting ??700 a month too.
Im not being silly about it I just feel very hurt by the way she has treated me. I know im lucky and I am grateful. I know she may be finding it harder than she thought. It is just simply the way it has all come to an end - as simple as 'im calling it a day' with no care for the struggle we are now going to go through. My dad has given me diddly squat over the years and this was their one thing they could do for me but as usual its about them and not about us. Sorry that sounds harsh but when you have been second best for 18 years (since their 'new' daughter was born) the let down feels even worse.
MrsM81 - you are right. I do feel grateful that my family do get to see O grow up and I would hate to be in your position. My hubby lost his dad a few yrs back and he has too missed out on his grandaughter and I know hubby finds it hard sometimes.
[Modified by: winnie1981 on August 26, 2010 12:24 PM]
So, in my opinion your best bet financially is to get on and register as a childminder. I am a childminder myself and you could earn significantly more working from home and get to stay with you lo. It will not cost you anything to register but the process can take atleast 3 months so you need to find a way to manage in the meantime.
Hth x
you should cut your coat according to your cloth.
There is no way your mil should have left you in the sh1T with little notice - however - maybe you could ask her to help for 1 morning instead of the 2 maybe - also could you ask your mum if you could half the repayments for the car.
Sometimes - when you have done all you can - being told to cut your cloth accorordingly is really irritating! I have to go back to work 50 hours a week to keep up with the mortgage replayments - i would rather not - i hate leaving my son - but you have to do what you have to do. Oh and we are going on holiday - Brean Pontins care of The Sun!
Renting out a room is a really good option especially if you did it just for 6 months and becoming a childminder is a fab idea - good luck and let us know what you decide x