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"My Baby" - a question!
I'm not trying to be confrontational, but I wondered if people could explain why they have such a strong dislike of mums/mils calling their infants "my baby"?
My mum has done this with my DD since she was born, and does it with DS now. It's never occurred to me to be bothered by it! She adores them both, and I actually love observing the close relationship she is developing with my children. I was very close to my maternal GM before she died - and she used to call me 'hers' too!
they are, after all, 'theirs' in terms of them being their grandchildren, but it seems to provoke such a strong response and is mentioned on here over and over. I'm not saying people's responses aren't 'right' but can you explain why it bothers you so much? Surely the more love and devotion a child gets, the more people that totally adore it, the better that is??
My mum has done this with my DD since she was born, and does it with DS now. It's never occurred to me to be bothered by it! She adores them both, and I actually love observing the close relationship she is developing with my children. I was very close to my maternal GM before she died - and she used to call me 'hers' too!
they are, after all, 'theirs' in terms of them being their grandchildren, but it seems to provoke such a strong response and is mentioned on here over and over. I'm not saying people's responses aren't 'right' but can you explain why it bothers you so much? Surely the more love and devotion a child gets, the more people that totally adore it, the better that is??
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Most things my MIL says annoy me though
Absolutely agree! And it irks me when people say "s/he's MY baby, not anyone else's" - well actually they are their own people, and having them to hold and nurture is just a passing privilege (
However, anyone except me calling my girls "my babies"? NO - that would annoy me a lot! As I said above I believe they don't really "belong" even to me, but they DEFINITELY don't belong to anyone else! Stupid, isn't it?
But to be honest if my mum went around calling MY son 'her baby' I wouldnt say anything, but I dont think I would completley like the idea of it after all he is MY baby and not hers. I look young as it is, often have the older geneartion make comments to or about me, im nealry 23 but I get called a teen mum all the time. So surely if my mum was to say it was her baby people might believe her .....
If people dont like it/like it then thats up to them each to their own I would say.
I think sometimes its maybe a cause of who's saying it, not what's being said as such, can relate to that, one rule for one, one rule for another....
they are, after all, 'theirs' in terms of them being their grandchildren, but quote]
Yes but they are not saying this, they're are saying "MY Baby" which is completely different.
I have no problem with my mum or MIl refereing to my children as "THEIR" grandchildren because that is a true, but they are not "THEIR BABIES" .
They weren't there at the conception or the birth so why should they have the privilage- they've had their turn let us have ours?!
I guess I just don't see that it takes anything away from me as their mother. I'm happy to 'share' my children, and the love of them. It has huge benefits for them, for my parents, and it makes me happy to see the love flowing between them!
Having said that, we don't speak to my in laws at all, haven't for 2 years and to be honest due to the 'strained' relationship we had before I'm not sure how I'd have felt had they done it while we were on speaking terms.
After all, our children are people in their own right, they are most certainly not possessions that we 'own'.
Difficult for some I guess but not for me.
I am going to hell!
I think if it's out of affection I wouldn't mind...like I said my dad calls him his boy and my mil often asks how's my baby and that doesn't bother me...but when I referred to lo as my baby once, she corrected me and said 'i think you'll find he's OUR baby' ...that was out of order imo
Also, it bugs me no end when I see thousands of photos of him (and a couple of videos) uploaded to friggin' Facebook without me knowing. Then all her friends comment on how he's so gorgeous, and she says "Thank you, I think so too!"!!!!!!! *rage building*
Modifying this because as I read it back it seems I don't want people to have photos with my son - which i do! But she insists it's just her and Jak, it's just a bit creepy and as though she's his mum. I'm not explaining myself very well, sorry!
[Modified by: EmilyB on September 11, 2010 10:42 AM]