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do i have pnd again?

My fiance and i were talking about our 12 month old yesterday. He says he thinks i have pnd again. I dont think so. The first time i was suicidal, cried 24/7, was scared of hurting him, i was angry at him all the time, i didnt want him, i felt he hated me and cried just to punish me, resented him and would really have to stop myself from losing my temper with him.

This time, I just think he doesnt like me, i havent bonded with him, he has bonded with his dad whose home all the time and his nan who cant go 2 days without taking him home for a few hours. I think my baby just prefers them and i really dont care. as long as he has bonded he is getting what he needs. hes a really happy baby. hes just not cuddly and im not gunna force him to cuddle me like they do. i feel he is just more work but thats just how life is and what mothers do, i love him. but its not a smushy love. im living life with the "this is what mums do just go through the motions". i laugh with him play with him i find him there a real problem here?

My fiance is distressed i have a really strong bond with my first son the pnd lasted till about 4 months old when the colic stopped. and he wants me to have the same bond with this son and i dont and he feels now he has to keep the baby away from me cos hes scared the baby will upset me..

I have been super depressed the last year about other stuff...but i dont think its pnd what do you all think?


  • I'm afraid to say I think I agree with your fianc???? - it sounds like PND to me, just as there are different severities of "normal" depression there are different severities of PND and just because its not the same as last time doesn't mean it's not PND. Have you spoken to your HV or dr about how you're feeling?

    I had work related stress and depression a few years ago and found that it brought to the fore alot of painful events from my past to the point where it was hard to tell what I was depressed about - perhaps that's similar to what's happened to you when you say you've been depressed about other thins this last year. It's great that your fianc???? and mum are wound to help with the lo I hope you feel better soon x
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