Anxiety and bad dreams
I am so happy since having James and whilst there have been tears and times I have felt exhausted I am enjoying being a Mum far more than I even thought possible. He is a wonderful boy and I feel very lucky...but then horrible anxious thoughts creep into my head about bad things happening to me/us as a family/him. I am also having bad dreams about fire and how I try to get him out of the house, and another bad dream where I wake up and someone is leaning over his cot and I cant stop them, I dont know what they are going to do because I always wake up sweating but its horrible. I also worry about cot death and I think he would sleep better in his own room but I cant face putting him in there yet. When I think of bad things I feel so guilty because everything in my life is good, why am I worrying about things that I dont need to worry about. What is strange is that I have only just started to feel like this, sometimes it brings me to tears. Does anyone else worry like this? xx
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I have always played out terrible scenarios in my head, it's particularly bad when I'm driving, people ploughing into me or tumbling into ditches, I'm a nervous passenger and this stems from my husband having an accident over 2 years ago where he narrowly missed a tree and somersaulted the car, from skidding on mud when it was also very cold. I can't help it when I'm going up the stairs to imagine William's face all blue cos he's stopped breathing or something horrible, if he falls asleep on our bed after a feed I move all the pillows in case he wiggles around and then suffocates....I imagine all kind of horrible things but then I have to listen to the voice in my head (my hubby's hehe) telling me not to be silly!
You are not alone hun xxxx
I think it's just a Mummy thing xx