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still feeling lost....

ilovepicknmixilovepicknmix
in My baby was born in June 2010
Hi ladies,
I still dont feel like i'm a half decent mum. Harry is still in no loose routine, and having tried to implement one i seem to have made him worse!!!! My mum has been hvaing him one night a week so i can catch up on my sleep but in a way although this is great this adds to my lack of self confidence.
I really feel like i have lost all of my confidence since becoming a mum. Before Harry i was in a good job that i was very good at, and was a confident out going person. I now feel like i have no idea what i'm doing, that harry is all over the place because of this and doesnt know what to expect from me/ his day

Replies

  • LauMLauM
    hi, I'm sure you're not doing as badly as you think you are. I've found it really hard adjusting to motherhood too. No matter what you do to prepare in advance nothing really prepares you for how hard it can be and how it completely changes your life and also you as a person. I feel like I'm being watched and criticised by people all the time. Have you talked to your man about how you feel? xx
  • summer_76summer_76 Regular
    we are all winging it! There is no manual but the one thing you can be sure of is you love your baby - thats all the matters!

    You will get into a routine - it will happen and you will start feeling more in control. Everything you are feeling is totally normal - i dont have long byt just wanted to respond.

    much love x
  • ilovepicknmixilovepicknmix
    Yep spoke to hubby about it, and he reasurred me that i am a good mum. Something happened today which really helped me and put things into perpective.I was at a baby group i go to, and i got speaking to a lady who i have seen quite a few times, she has always come across as coping really well and like she is finding it all sooo easy, in a way i envied her as i thought she was the mum i wanted to be, but today she confided she was struggling too, and although i'd never wish that feeling on anyone, it was reasurring to know i wasnt the only one, and that appearances can be deceptive. I now hope that we can offer eachother extra support and help eachother feel better about being a mum x
  • ThatScottishMumThatScottishMum Regular
    ((((((HUGS))))))))))) Motherhood is by far the hardest job Ive ever done in my life....fact!!! You could be the most maternal, calm, well balanced female and it would still hit you like a ton of bricks. Stick with the routine hunny, It will fall into place eventually, some babies just take longer to adjust than others. Im glad your mum is helping as a full nights sleep will help you recharge your batteries. You ARE a GREAT mum hunny, and dont you forget it xxx
  • .scottie..scottie.
    ((((hugs))))

    I feel exactly the same, motherhood is far harder than I ever expected it to be. Alex still isn't inany routine and I beat myself up for weeks trying to get him into one, until I read don't even bother if you have a colicy or reflux baby! Since then I've been far happier being baby led, and slowly I'm starting to get used to his cries and understanding them. Although we still have very very bad days, and yesterday my hubby came home to find me in tears cos we had such a bad day. Don't feel guility that your mum is helping either, you need to recharge your batteries. If it helps my mum has driven 4 hours every week to come and stay so she can have my ds a couple of nights so I could recharge my batteries, so you're not the only one!!! It's hard to accept at first, but you come quickly grateful and it's no indication you're a bad mummy, more that you realise you need to be well rested so you can be the fab mummy that you are.

    I've been told over and over to take each day as it comes and enjoy it, time flies by so quickly. I can't say that's always the case, but after 14 weeks of unsettledness it's starting to sink in
  • JunieMummyJunieMummy
    welcome to parenthood!!!!!

    I still feel like this with my older children, I dont think you ever totally feel like you know what you are doing because you will always be learning. There is always something new around the corner with children. Emily has no routine at all and i have never tried to impliment one and now she has started to fall into her own pattern of sleeping/waking/feeding etc. If your baby is happy and healthy then you are succeeding hun.

    Tiredness will definately make you feel a bit low in yourself but you are doing fab hun. I agree - enjoy this stage as it dosnt last long. AND DONT WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK - it will drive you insane!!!!!

    ((((big hugs)))) xxxxxxx
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