Can't do anything right :(
Hi ladies
Bit of an O/T here but I need to moan at someone and I know you ladies are always kind about these things.
I've been back at work this week as they've asked me to go in for a special task. Then I get to continue my leave for another 4 weeks. I don't mind doing it, but it has meant leaving OH with C earlier than expected. But I imagined everything would be ok.
I don't know what your relationships are like with your OHs but mine, since C arrived, has just gone completely downhill. He's so bad-tempered and moody it's unreal. Plus I honestly cannot do anything right at the minute. If I leave him alone to get on with looking after her while I work (I sometimes work from home) I can sense the foul mood. Tonight I could hear her crying for ages so I went in to give a hand - not criticise, just take her off his hands for a bit - and he also looked like I'd proper insulted him and he gave me crap about it. I even told him "Let me give you a break for a bit" but he obviously heard "You're crap, give me the baby". I can't do right for doing wrong. And it's not just to do with her it seems to be everything at the moment. He talks to me like crap.
Maybe he's struggling to come to terms with his new "house-husband" role? Who knews. I'd say it was definitely that if he hadn't been like a woman in her worse PMT phase for the past 4 months. Has anyone else's husband changed? It's like if my hubby doesn't get a full night's sleep he's in such an awful mood all the time. It was ok when he was working and I wasn't (except weekends when he'd do some nightfeeds) as he'd sleep right through her crying and everything. Now I have to actually physically wake him up to get him to deal with her at night. I may as well do the nightfeeds myself as I have to wake up anyway. GAH.
Reading this back I'm mixing so many things but I really have so many complaints at the minute!!! And I'm tired of him treating me like rubbish when up until now he's always been so gentle and kind. It's like Mr Hyde has come out to play after years of having Jekyll!!
Don't expect any answers ladies, just needed a rant.
xxx
Bit of an O/T here but I need to moan at someone and I know you ladies are always kind about these things.
I've been back at work this week as they've asked me to go in for a special task. Then I get to continue my leave for another 4 weeks. I don't mind doing it, but it has meant leaving OH with C earlier than expected. But I imagined everything would be ok.
I don't know what your relationships are like with your OHs but mine, since C arrived, has just gone completely downhill. He's so bad-tempered and moody it's unreal. Plus I honestly cannot do anything right at the minute. If I leave him alone to get on with looking after her while I work (I sometimes work from home) I can sense the foul mood. Tonight I could hear her crying for ages so I went in to give a hand - not criticise, just take her off his hands for a bit - and he also looked like I'd proper insulted him and he gave me crap about it. I even told him "Let me give you a break for a bit" but he obviously heard "You're crap, give me the baby". I can't do right for doing wrong. And it's not just to do with her it seems to be everything at the moment. He talks to me like crap.
Maybe he's struggling to come to terms with his new "house-husband" role? Who knews. I'd say it was definitely that if he hadn't been like a woman in her worse PMT phase for the past 4 months. Has anyone else's husband changed? It's like if my hubby doesn't get a full night's sleep he's in such an awful mood all the time. It was ok when he was working and I wasn't (except weekends when he'd do some nightfeeds) as he'd sleep right through her crying and everything. Now I have to actually physically wake him up to get him to deal with her at night. I may as well do the nightfeeds myself as I have to wake up anyway. GAH.
Reading this back I'm mixing so many things but I really have so many complaints at the minute!!! And I'm tired of him treating me like rubbish when up until now he's always been so gentle and kind. It's like Mr Hyde has come out to play after years of having Jekyll!!
Don't expect any answers ladies, just needed a rant.
xxx
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Replies
I don't have many wise words sorry hun, here if you need a chat ever xx
It does sound like hes daunted by his new responsibility. Have you tried talking to him hun? Easier said than done though, my DH takes that conversation as a double insult! Sorry Im no help at all xxx
It must be so tough for you being away from corynn and a big adjustment for your hubby too, hopefully things will fall into place soon xx
Hopefully it's just a phase and I'm pretty sure it's all to do with sleep in his case (or lack of it). I know lots of the maybies are now sleeping through but we're still up twice a night unfortunately. But then again, it's tough s*** isn't it! I'm tired too but I'm not in a foul mood all the time.
you're right there BG, men ARE a strange race! And like you Kayssis we're either great or rubbish, there's no middle ground. I'm trying to take my share of the blame but at the minute I'm tired of fixing a fake nice voice and smile when I'm fed up of his snapping!!
Oops,that turned into another mini-rant. I'm going off to the swimming pool to work off some stress
I think it's a big adjustment for them, and that doesn't happen until the baby is born. We've in effect had an extra nine months to get used to having a baby, we've had to give up foods, drink, all but the most gentle of exercise etc etc, whereas for them it probably doesn't feel really real until the baby arrives.
I know I'm really narky at the moment. When hubby says things like "should she be spending more time on the floor" (if I put her on my lap because she starts grumbling when I've just put her down) "do you think she's getting used to us doing everything for her" (if I pick up a toy that she's thrown and give it back - her new game), "X's baby sleeps through the night" or "we're too reliant on the dummy at night" I take it as a criticism of my parenting, which it probably isn't.
But I supose I'm just as bad as when I'm going out, the most is for 2 hours when I go for a swim and do the shopping on a Sunday, I say things like "what if she cries" "what if she needs feeding" and he probably thinks the same.
To top it all I think he has man flu now too - which I'm to blame for as I have a cold! Aaaaaghhhhh!
xxx
He has NEVER taken Freddie out of the house without me!!!! I have not had a break at all and haven't left him for more than 20 mins as am BFing and he won't take a bottle!!
He also wakes in the night so am knackered. I think these men just have a real adjustment to make. I just get on with it and try not to make too many comments to him (although it is hard I always feel like I am standing over his shoulder!!!)
Sending hugs xxx
Regarding the two feeds at night... I am sure you can start Corynn on solids surely?? I was advised to give Sam solids when he added in another feed at night and within 3 days he had dropped the 2am feed... much to my relief.
I know it's a big adjustment for him (and all our OHs) but, honestly, do they really think it isn't a big change for us too?
I know what some of you mean about "hands-on" too. Before Corynn was born everyone would go on about what a wonderful Dad he would be and how I would probably not get a look-in. So for me it's been a bit of a shock to see that this isn't exactly the case. Now she's more "fun" so to speak he's more interested. He loves to make her laugh so he's getting more into the role now.
This is definitely the biggest test we've faced and I think we've had it a bit hard at the beginning what with me recovering slowly from the section and her having awful colic... better times are ahead I know they are! (PMA this morning).
Foxinsocks: we're starting her on some solids this week! Hopefully you are right and we'll get some well deserved sleep then
xxxxx
As Foxinsocks said, I just don't know how you got through that Colic phase.
Also, thanks for the advice, our Spanish holiday went well.
XX