being "lucky" with children's genders.
is it just me? it might be! im prepared for that
i fnd it incredibly insulting when peole say things to others like "arent you lucky to get one of each sex!" and "they were lucky to get a boy and a girl!"
i have a much loved daughter and, if i had another daughter i wouldnt consider myself unlucky. in fact i can see myself with 3 girls. will people, should i have another 2 girls, be saying how unlucky i am behind my back etc? ive mentioned this to my husband and he's with me, any baby is fine! (although i might come to regret that if i have a house full of teenage girs one day!)
am i reading too much into the use of the word lucky when referring to gender? or is it actaully how i read it that people think you should have one of each and anything else just isnt good enough? or that everyone actually wants one of each, when i dont think everyone is that bothered.
then i wonder if it's down to experiences in pregnancy. having had one chem preg and an mc maybe thats why i just want a baby.
what do you think? have you had one of each and been told how lucky you are? did you feel lucky? did you want one of each? were you just glad you had a healthy baby?
i fnd it incredibly insulting when peole say things to others like "arent you lucky to get one of each sex!" and "they were lucky to get a boy and a girl!"
i have a much loved daughter and, if i had another daughter i wouldnt consider myself unlucky. in fact i can see myself with 3 girls. will people, should i have another 2 girls, be saying how unlucky i am behind my back etc? ive mentioned this to my husband and he's with me, any baby is fine! (although i might come to regret that if i have a house full of teenage girs one day!)
am i reading too much into the use of the word lucky when referring to gender? or is it actaully how i read it that people think you should have one of each and anything else just isnt good enough? or that everyone actually wants one of each, when i dont think everyone is that bothered.
then i wonder if it's down to experiences in pregnancy. having had one chem preg and an mc maybe thats why i just want a baby.
what do you think? have you had one of each and been told how lucky you are? did you feel lucky? did you want one of each? were you just glad you had a healthy baby?
0
Replies
Personally I always say to people things like "oh that must be nice!" or "that's lucky!"
Whenever I'm chatting with someone and they say how many children they have and what gender and whatnot, I always say how lucky they are and how lovely it must be... Just because having simply any child is lucky and lovely.
But that's just me. :P
xxx
That anyone sees fit to focus on the configuration of their genetalia is a bit rich, frankly!
glad im not alone then!
I have IDENTICAL twin boys, who are very much loved, but you would be surprised at the amount of people who ask first if theyre a boy and a girl (urr, theyre wearing blue and LOOK like boys!) and then frown/roll their eyes etc (I even had one person apologise!) when I say theyre both boys.
I get annoyed with people that ask when im going to have another 1 and 'gloat' that it 'might be twins again!' Just go away and leave my family rearing decisions to me and my husband!
i guess though for some people it is small talk, but the person i was referring to says it like it is an important thing. some people might just be making converstaion, others actually do believe that it is what everyone wants and you'll have an empty feeling if you dont get the other.
i have no preference of the sex and i didnt with our first either which people find very weird, i just HAD to want one more than the other surely? a healthy baby just isnt a good enough answer for some people
When I was preg with ds2 I did get the feeling that to be expecting a girl would be the perfect thing - especially as my sil had one of each. But it's absolute crap - I was so happy to have another boy - the first thing I thought is that ds1 will have a broither! He was (and still is) the apple of my eye and I was so so happy to have two little boys together.
I now have my baby girl - but if she had been a boy I wouls have been just as happy! How fantastic is 3 children!! Boys or girls - it makes no odds! I think people are just so used to having things 'to order' they forget what a natural phenomenom childbirth is!!
I have one boy (3yrs) and when I was pg I wanted a boy, not a girl and I got my wish. If I was to have no. 2 I wouldn't care what I was having, both are a miracle but secretly I would want another boy!!! My sis has 2 girls and 2 boys and the girls are complete nightmares!!! and so are most of the girls I know!! For me personally I find boys easier and more of a joy but then i'm not a girly girl and find boys activities more fun!!
I think we're lucky to have them all!!
I think, people see having one of each as "lucky" as it sort of completes the set. You know that vision in some people's minds of the parents, and a little boy and a girl...
I have 2 boys and LOVE them sooo much and I am so very lucky to have them.
I'd like a girl, but thats because I want to have some female company in our house!! I think I'm destined for boys anyway and that is fine by me!! xx