Hitting
Luke is 19 months next week n gradually over the past weeks has started hitting me and his dad. He does it when he gets frustrated which can sometimes be the smallest of things. He does it when we are holding him n pushes our faces away and hits us. Take today for instance, I was carrying him, he was perfectly happy n then threw his dummy on the floor playing a game. I make a remark "who did that" n he got angry n tried to hit me. When I told him no we don't hit (in my most authoritative voice!) he hit me again! I've tried ignoring, putting him down n ignoring the behaviour, telling him no and even pretending to cry because he's hurt me (which makes him more frustrated and he hits out more). He is a very happy little boy n doesn't hit anyone else apart frm me and my husband but I'm worried he will start. I want to start trying time out but he doesn't understand to stay, what else can I do to deter him frm hitting? Im hoping it's just a phase and it will stop when he can communicate better. Other than this hitting he is fine, well behaved and happy (oh god I sound like one of those mothers making excuses for their badly behaved children!). Any advice would b greatly apprieciated! Have any of ur little ones gone through this?
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Replies
It didnt help my brother taught him 'high 5' so he sometimes gets told off when I am sure he was 'high 5ing'.
We asked nursery and they said it wasnt a problem and then tell him no etc
We do make LO kiss to say sorry after he has hit, he now hits and then kisses straight away ahhhhhhh.
I really think he is too young to get it just yet but we are working on it, he is getting better though.......
Nursery have saids he hasnt done it there .... yet
telling him no makes it worse and he laughs his head off and does it again
The last 2 weeks we have been ignoring and putting him staight down on the floor and it has hrlped curb it alot. some times he has a cry but we let him cry it out as its only for about 30 seconds anyway
xx
Ive no real words of advice really other than distraction techniques. We use these a lot as i do think our LO gets frustrated and angry too much. We just move him away from the situation until he cant remember what made him frustrated in the first place. We do the same with hitting. If he hits me or OH we move him away and do something different with him to stop it. Most of the time its just playing and the word no doesnt work. He knows what it means and this gets him annoyed, which in turn makes him hit!!
Argh we go round in circles a lot with this, but do know your not alone! xx
At home it is controllable as we mainly ignore it, or say no and he has to give a kiss. However where I am out with people with passive, non boisterios babies I know they dont fully understand and I am constantly justifying my child or my actions but there really isnt much I can do apart from carry on telling him it is wrong or distraction techniques until he is old enough to understand properly.
Hubby says I should smack her back but my argument is how can I teach her not to hit if I hit her !! But frankly i'm at a loss as to what else to try. :?
I think she is a bit young at 21 months to get smacked, I'm not against it as my ds1 has had a few clips in his time (6 now and first time was 4) but I have to be honest I still think when you have to discipline the naughty step works the best and I only use a smack as a last last last resort as I think it makes both of us more angry BUT do think it is necessary sometimes
EG: when out playing he disappeared down the street without telling me and on out onto a different street it took me ages to find him and when i brought him home I smacked him and put him into his room - i figure I#d far rather him fear me smacking him as he knows this fear as I think he would not do it (and hasn't) for fear of a smack whereas no matter how much I tell him about 'bad men' etc etc he doesn't have a true 'fear' of them so that alone would not prevent him from doing it again kwim?