My baby hates her grandparents!

Ladies, I'm wondering if anyone has any advice on how to get my baby to like her grandparents?!

She is 17 weeks old, and if fine with my dad and his partner, but she goes crazy at the inlaws house! They keep making comments and digs at me about it, and I just don't know what to do.

LO tends to be a bit funny whenever we go somewhere new, and wants to look around, and sit and watch everyone in the room. When we go to the inlaws, in the early days, she was fine, but recently, in the last month or so, she absolutely HATES being held by them. She doesn't even like them coming too close.

As much as I tell them not too, they are taking it personally, and keep making little digs at me, which they think is funny - things like 'you obviously don't see your granny and grandad enough' etc. You see them at least once a week, grandad has been retired for the entire time LO has been here, and hasn't taken her out for a walk once! I don't want to spend all my time round at their house, thank you very much!

When LO cries at them, it is the hysterical crying, with real tears, sobbing, etc. FIL tries to take LO away when I go to take her to calm her down - drives me up the wall!

I just don't know how to make her like them. I'm getting fed up with them rolling their eyes at each other when LO goes crazy at themimage


  • This a real difficult one, my niece used to be really sensitive around people she didnt see all the time. Do you always go round there or do they come to you? I wonder if little one would be better if they came to yours instead x
  • If it makes you feel any better, my girls are 20 months and are still not at ease with the in-laws. They are getting better each visit but are still not the same with them as they are at home or with my family.

    The sole reason for this is that they don't see enough of them. We try and go over there once a month but the in laws haven't been to ours since May (they live 1.5 hours drive away).

    I'd tell your in-laws that LO will get better as she gets older and is more aware and has a better memory but also that they need to make the effort to see her more (if that's what you want of course!)
  • Theo is EXACTLY the same with my MIL and sometimes my parents too.

    I have found that if they come in our house or we go out to see people, if they grab him out my arms or get in his face within 2 minutes of seeing them, he screams.

    If I hold him for a while - say half an hour or so... he usually settles down. He hears their voices, watches them flying around and knows they aren't in his face - he usually even smiles and lets them hold him for a bit.

    I do think it is something that changes as they get older. Louis was the same when he was little, and is amazing now! Has his shy moments with strangers, but he loves his family and friends!

  • I wouldn't worry about any digs or anything that they give you. Infact, I'd mention that atleast she gets to see them once a flipping week!!

    I don't live near family and we came to visit just after Xmas and he got so upset if I even left the room and when they tried to pick him up he just shook his head and sobbed. We even tried to go out for dinner and they had to call us to come back home because he was just heartbroken.

    I think with age it will get better, as they begin to reason as well as remember..I mean, at 17 weeks they will sort of have an idea of who their grandparents are, but untill they see them for other things, such as looking after them once a week whilst you work ect and once they can play and interact with them through toys and stuff, you and your oh is all they need and care about imo.

    hth x
  • Hiya,

    I could of written this a few months/ weeks ago. My lo is now 23 weeks and the last three weeks she has suddenly taken to them.

    Everytime we went to MIL she would turn the fire on etc so izzy got to hot etc. If she was tired she would keep talking to her in the mad baby voice and izzy hated it. I had to keep telling them until they listened. They stopped talking to her until izzy got use to being in a strange house for a few minutes. They also didnt handle her for a few weeks and its worked.

    I had the same problem with the digs. In fact my MIL burst into tears and said she didnt feel like a grandma. I then had weeks and weeks of her telling oh that i had done it on purpose. Ggrrrrrrrrr.

    As much as she didnt like it i took her to baby massage and started water babies to get her use to being with people.She also smiles etc around people now and seems much more acceptable.

    Things will change soon so dont worry.Your baby is still so tiny and is use to being around mummy.

  • is it mean that I thought from what you've said about them just turning up at your house etc, before that maybe she's just being sensibleimage lol! My DD is the same tbh, her inlaws make very little effort to come through and see her, and then when she does see them (we disassembled our entire bloody house at Xmas and totally disrupted her routine to go and see them because it was 'too complicated at this time of year' for them to make the 1 hr 30 mins drive to stay with us in our big spare room grrrr) she cries if they hold her, I think it's because they get a bit wound up and try too hard with her and she picks up on it and feels anxious. There's not much you can do other than just gently give them advice about what to do - you could try saying 'oh, she really likes it when people....' rather than directly say they're doing it wrong, but otherwise they are kind of going to have to work their relationship out with her themselves. My Dad had a hard time with her crying on him for weeks, but he persevered and it just clicked, now she cries to get onto him!
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