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Tantrums at mealtimes.....help !
Hi all - just wondered if I just have a stroppy little madam (in the nicest possible way!) or it is something else. My DD is 13 months and has always been a good eater since weaning with the odd exception. She has also always had a few minor tantrums where she knocks her water / spoon / food onto the floor in a bit of a meltdown. However this last week she has been a nightmare and her tantrums have got worse ! She is teething at the moment and I know this is probably affecting her appetite but the tantrums were so bad today I had to take her out the highchair and calm her down and walk away myself at brekkie as she got me so mad by deliberately throwing food over her head etc etc etc !
I am worried that if I don't tackle this now I will have this forever but at the same time know that her teeth will not be helping. Anyone had anything similar and what did you do ??? Thanks S
I am worried that if I don't tackle this now I will have this forever but at the same time know that her teeth will not be helping. Anyone had anything similar and what did you do ??? Thanks S
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Replies
We started by taking them away from the situation to calm down, but eventually we found the method that worked for us.....good luck x
e.g. He will shove loads of food into his mouth given the chance so Ive always cut things up for him into smaller pieces (like toast or a sandwich) and control whats on his tray to minimise this. I realised that he didnt want to have his food this way anymore as he kept asking for mine and biting into it like a big boy. So now for lunch for example I make us both a wrap and I hold his for him and he bites into it. He now eats so much better
Less recent was the spoon. I would "help" him with preloading and it made him mad and he would flick food everywhere. I realised he just wanted to do it all himself like a big boy so I left him to it and he now has a spoon in each hand and eats well on his own.
So it could be that she is expressing her frustrations to you and it may be that you just need to work out what it is she is frustrated about to help her move forward :? While trying to work it out, the way I dealt with it was to not pick the food up (and encourage it if it were a game), say a firm NO (and he would laugh :evil: ) and if it descended into a meltdown I would remove him from his highchair until he calmed down and then start all over again. I did this because he wouldnt calm down while sat in the chair so there was no point pursuing with the meal with him in that state. At one mealtime it took 3 goes!!
But then the teething will always throw things out! She could just be in pain when eating and getting frustrated with that and the throwing food etc is her way of telling you it hurts.
Not sure if any of that helps. But I understand how hard it can be!! Just remember, it's another phase... and it will not last forever although it feels like it at the time
xx
I can elaborate a bit on the spoon thing too if it helps more. In the beginning.. he would only want to do it himself for a few times, then got bored and wanted help again (particularly if he was tired) so I would put a bit on there for him and let him go for it again - they then see this as them doing it with a bit of help! Or he would just put the spoon down and use his hands when he'd had enough! Slowly the help disappeared and he mostly uses the spoon the whole time now. It does get messy while they learn :roll: (even messier!!) but let her explore. And most important, follow her lead, then you have more chance of there being no frustration and the tantrums. Lots of praise helps too of course.
Just make sure that what you offer her is in the easiest form to get on to a spoon for a beginner. So e.g. yoghurt or avocado, stir it up so it's nice and soft and easy to get on the spoon. Even if you start with offering things like this for her to do herself, and then stick a spoon in everything else for her to explore. I found B ate less to begin with but he never starved! You mght just have a phase where you need to help them at the end to take what they need, or offer a snack shortly after.
Enjoy the transition. It's lovely to see them develop their independence!
Also glad to hear the tooth came through, that should certainly help matters too x
Im now finding even some things just arent easy with a spoon so Im going to look for a fork for B. Ive also seen a "foon" or maybe it was a "spork" (cant remember which!) but it's a spoon type fork. That might be worth a go too!
If she is prone to throwing the bowl or plate off the table I can recommend using the ones with suction so they stick on the tray. I have these! It helped with not only B not being able to throw the food everywhere, but also made me a happy mummy to not be covered in it! Plus he then seemed to learn that they were meant to stay on the tray so now things that arent suction are safe! I sometimes also used little bowls - like the size of their mini yoghurt tubs - when he first started doing it all on his own. It made it more achievable before the frustration set in. B seemed to get tired of doing it himself when he was first learning but once they get better at it they become more proud of themselves and just do it for longer because it's not so challenging to them anymore.
Keep at it with her. You probably only have a few more days before she is a master at it!! If it gets too much during a meal then there is no harm taking her out of her chair for a few mins to calm down then starting again. In one meal session with B I had to do this 3 times while he was learning this new skill.
Youre doing great!!! x
Im glad yesterday went better for you both x