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ahhh opinionated rant i am afraid

ahhh i am seriously at boiling point - i feel like i am totally losing control at the moment and am pretty senstivie but this really P**sed me off.

the conoutry is in this massive mess and i really do feel that the worng people are paying for it. I am not a rich bit*ch, i run a pub - i started pretty much near the bottom and worked my way up to unit manager - i dont have a degree or anything like that (well i have a few bits and bobs but nothing that helps me at present) so i am not saying this in a stuck up way, i am saying it in a i work my knackers off kind of way for some idiots that bought themselves a plush car - on credit - flat screen tv - on credit - phone contract - blah blah blah then realised that they didnt earn enough to pay for it all - WHO PAYS????

Listened to the following conversation and have no idea how i contained myself. "mate, struggling at the moment cant afford to by the cot blah blah blah" then pulls out a friggin iphone.

i am exhausted beyond words from trying to spend every moment possible with my son and working on a 52 hr a week contract (48 after breaks!)

i just think it is so unfair that we are struggling to concieve a 2nd miracle because and question whether i should becasue i have to work so much but then think i shouldnt i and why the frig should others be able to and not me



  • apologies for all the typos - i blame the empty glass of wine at my side!
  • apologies for all the typos - i blame the empty glass of wine at my side!
  • i totally get how you feel could of wrote a very similar post.

    friends of my husband alway have top of the range stuff xboxs ,phones, tvs got in to loads of debt that they could't afford to pay back ended up with some kind of debt consolidation so only had to pay 75% back only to go out and run up even more debt that they will never be able to pay back.

    its just not fair when people get away with out having to pay if you can't afford don't have
  • I totally agree, it's mad but I don't know how it's going to change. Just look at how much debt the government (and country) is in, hardly an example!

    People just don't seem to give a stuff any more and I think it's very sad.

    I have always had the motto, if I can't afford, I will do without and just wish others could live by the same xx
  • I agree!!

    I won't deny that I have a car on credit - but I can afford it (i'm only a teacher but I got a car well within my means!) and my son certainly will not go without just so I can have nice things! I would also not expect anyone else to bail me out if I had done something stupid and took on more than I could afford.

    I think you just have to be proud of yourself summer that you are working so hard for your little boy and setting such a fantastic example to him.

    I wish you the best of luck with ttc no2!! Hope your son can have a little brother or sister soon!

  • I agree!

    Both me and hubby have professional jobs and earn ok money. I am obsessed with saving as I know only too well that you may be financially well off one minute and very hard up the next (my dad was made redundant a couple of times)

    Because of this we live a fairly modest lifestyle, we don't have luxuries, we don't have a flat screen, credit cards or loans other than our mortgage as we live by the principle if you can't afford it don't have it.

    If either of us lose our job we have enough to fall back on because of this.

    It pisses me off no end when I see my clients who tell me they can't go to court about their children as they don't get "paid" until next week. I actually have to say you get paid when you do a days work and not when you collect your benefits. Summer, like you many have i-phones and the hugest flatscreens and a 40 a day fag habbit! It irritates me a lot.

    I do not mean that all people who claim benefits do this, i know they don't. My dad was on JSA for 2 years and we really needed it and lived very modestly. But the area that I work in there is a bad culture of never having worked and never having any intention to work.

    A cot versus an i-phone, good god!!! xxxx
  • You work hard for your money, and it is frustrating others can't get their priorities right! xx
  • You know what I think about things like this...

    I'd love to hear anyone living off someone else's hard-earned cash justify themselves...
  • Well, I'm not working at the moment so I guess you could say I'm 'living off someone else's hard earned cash' as our family income (my husband works very hard, and long hours, but for fairly dismal pay as he climbs the career ladder) is supplemented by Tax Credits, Disability Living Allowance and Carers Allowance. Maybe I should have to justify myself?
  • I actually agree with maened. You have absolutely no idea how people come across their possessions so although someone whips out an iPhone it doesn't mean they're well off. I have one purely because I work for the mobile company who sold them first and get a 30% discount. My oh had my old one when I upgraded too. Oh and the amount of people who buy them for gifts is outrageous.

    That said I hate nothing worse than someone who diddles the system. We all are aware that Maeneds little girl is disabled and my father receives dla and my mother carers allowance. They live in a council house and both don't work. They worked up untill the doctors told them to stop for health reasons yet at Xmas, much to my dismay, they spoiled ds rotten. I did challenge my mum on where the money came from and she told me that sue had put away money every week since he was born and will start again in january for next Xmas. She's mad IMO but you really can't stop her.

    Another thing that bothers me is people who claim credit is a bad thing. It's really not. Those with loans and debit are 100 times more likely to be accepted for a credit vet than those with just a mortgage. No credit history is actually worse than a bad one believe it or not.

    I do have an acquaintance who is living with her partner and her daughter whilst pregnant with her second...claiming dss and probably saying she's a single mum too..bragging about a new car her and her oh just purchased. May I add that he is actually an international sportsman (nothing interesting may I add)

    Oh god id love to shop her. But I just don't have it in me to clype!!
  • Well said princess. Not everyone should be tarred with the same brush, it helps to know an individuals circumstances. My husband and I come across as having everything and lots of money, but we don't, we have been 'lucky' in aquiring things. We got new settees and a 50inch tv last year but that was due to an insurance payout from a fire, but to people who don't know our circumstances it looks like we're being extravagant. We have a car on finance and both have iPhones, but our kids don't go without and have almost anything they want or need. We both work, though im in mat leave and don't intend going back as I want to spend more time with my boys, but I have worked from being 13 and not been without a job since. I'm actually a debt collector so know better than most about the effects of credit and the benefit culture, but it has made me appreciate that each family is different and should not be judged for what is seen on the outside as we are all able to put on a facade.
  • It doesn't realloy matter how this person 'aquired' the I-phone though princess. I know if it were me, in possession of an expensive phone but no cot or my baby, I'd sell the bloody phone!!

    I have a friend like this too who REALLY grates on me. He does work, as does his partner, but he's racked up loads of debt which he is struggling to pay back... fair enough... I would feel for him, and perhaps have the inclination to help him out a bit IF him and his partner didn't spend hundreds on each other for Christmas and birthdays. He is always telling me about the designer jewellery he's bought for her etc. They are expecting a baby in a few months and he's been very stressed about how he'll afford the babythings. I was kind enough to offer a lot of Finleys things which he's outgrown such as his crib, bouncer, baby bath etc... but then he tells he he's spent ??180!!! on a frigging cot alone!! From an expensive dept store. CRAZY. If he was that hard up he could have bought literally everything needed with that money if he shopped about or went second hand. NO sympathy from me!
  • I agree if they're wasting money on each other but can't afford things for baby it's out of order. Dh and I always go without to ensure the boys have what they need. But I still don't think think that just because someone has nice things they should be judged.
  • cant afford a cot but down he pub???? alcohol is a luxury

    and anyone who puts that before a child should be shot! i personally cannot afford an iphone :cry:
  • I totally get where you're coming from!If you can't afford these non essential luxuries with your own money then you shouldn't buy them at the expense of other people. I don't think you should be able to buy non essential luxuries on credit unless you can afford to pay them back very soon.

    And if you don't have enough money for healthy food and cots etc (essentials) and spend it on iphones, xboxes and flat screen tvs that you can't afford with your own money - well, nuff said!! That's part of the reason we are all struggling to pay off the deficit right now!

    Why do people want all this stuff anyway?! :roll:

    Sounds like you're doing a great job for your little boy, he will be proud of you! x
  • I totally agree piggypops, if they can't afford things for their baby then how can they afford alcohol, hence why dh and I go without. I have an iPhone on contract as I would have a contract anyway so it made no difference which phone. But when you have kids their needs should come first and if it's a choice between buying something for the kids or something for me or dh, we go without as our kids are our priority, but obviously, as proven with original post not everyone thinks like that.
  • actually a lot of the fault lies with teh companies who lend the money themselves. Credit is not such a bad thing how would any of us afford houses a mortgage is just that credit. When I was 18 I got my first car on credit as it came with 3 years free insurance, I took it out over 4 years and never missed a payment and paid it completely off as in line with the contract. What is the issue with that?

    Those who borrow beyond their means make the issues not credit itself, and the companies who dish it out are to blame as well for not be stringent enough. I worked for a loan company (only for 6 months mind as it was so friggin unethical) and if mr smith came in for ??1k but the system 'told me' he could have up to ??10k it was the policy of the company to do everything in your power to make sure mr smith left with ??10k, it was ridiculous the amount of people who happily agreed and borrowed money they didn't need.

    I think too a lot of these companies that 'offer the way out' have a lot to answer for. I had a friend who purposely pushed his spiralling credit to over ??25k so he would qualify for this and yes he had to work hard an pay a lot of it back but he also saved thousands off the total whereas I hardly have any credit but do use credit and each time pay my bills in full, more often than not before the time is up. Where is the fairness in that.

    I think we should remember that everyone has different circumstances and shouldn't make sweeping comments such as 'everyone who wears glasses is stupid' as we don't all know what every ones situation is, there will always be the p**s takers and abusers of the system but I am thankful that I am not one of them and also thankful that if I do ever need to use them through redundancy etc etc that the option is there. x
  • I don't think anyone begrudges anyone having nice things or judges them for having nice things.

    I have an i-phone, I work a 40 hour week is a very demanding and stressful job and if I want an i-phone i'll have one. It's ??35 a month but when I go on maternity leave i'll be switching to a cheaper contract as i'd rather spend the money on my baby.

    I think the issue here is about priorities. Having nice things and sat in the pub spending money moaning about not having the basics for your baby is plain selfish.

    When I was growing up my parents had nothing but whatever they did have went on me and my sisters and not on themselves x
  • I agree about the cot but what PrincessandPuppy said is also true. Hubby and I are both professionals and earning decent money (Well, before I was on mat leave that is! image) Our car is on credit, simply because we would rather keep savings for rainy days (losing your job is so easy these days) than spending them on a car. I can't imagine anyone buying a car otherwise. Just to add (before people shout at meimage that it cost ??7K but we needed a reliable car as hubby drives 50 miles a day to and from work.
  • omg - really do you have to argue with everything i say???

    I meantioned nothing about tax credits nothing about DLA (fyi my mother had her first heart attack at 48 - triple bypass that went wrong at 49 and is on DLA - incidently she doesnt have an iphone)

    The point i was making was pretty obvious - get your priorities straight - and i agree - if some has given you and iphone as gift or you get a good deal with the company you work for and you still cant afford a cot - sell the bl**dy thing.

    And not having a credit card is a good thing - we dont want credit becasue we dont have anything until we can pay for it - our car for example is a Hyundi Elentra - 2003 plate with 29000 on the clock ??1600 - we saved and seaved until we had enough. If others (not all but some) lived by this they would be able to save for said Elentra as they wouldnt have any loans/cards/cars to pay for. Jees is aint rocket science.

    And before any one else jumps on me - he was down the pub with an iphone and couldnt afford a cot - i dont care what his personal circumstances are that is wrong.

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