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don't feel right :(

I don't know what else to do now so I'm posting this in the hope that someone can tell me they have been through something similar?



Basically i haven't been feeling myself for some time now, a lot worse in the past 3 months or so, my daughter is a year old.

I just don't feel happy, i'm angry all the time. I don't mean just annoyed angry but I get so angry about the slightest thing that I feel like I'm barely controlling it anymore. I know it's not right and i know i'm being completely unreasonable but I can't help it. I wouldn't even say it's a mood swing as i never really feel happy, just the angry, although I seem to go from calm to angry in a split second?

I'm waffling a bit but it's hard to describe, when you know there is something not right, you know you're acting in a strange way, but i can't fathom why.

I'm so tired all the time, not just lack of sleep tired, more like fatigue. i feel like I'm just dragging myself around. sometimes I get to work and wonder if I'm going to collapse as I can't see how I'm going to manage the day with no energy. i wake up in the mornings and I can't get out of bed.

I don't know what's wrong with me. i love my husband and daughter so much but I dread my days off looking after my daughter and sometimes I hate my husband. I feel so bad and guilty because neither of them have done anything wrong.

i finally plucked up the courage to go to the docs today about it and when I got there my appointment had been made in error and they couldn't see me. I just managed to get out of the door of the surgery before I burst in to tears, i know thats not normal.



I'm scared i'm depressed but I don't know what else it could be. I know I'm not getting any better and it's been going on a while but I just keep telling myself I'm tired. I spoke to my husband about it but he doesn't understand why I'm feeling like this, but then nor do i! He's also a bit funny about the word depression, my mum has suffered from severe depression for most of my life and if I ever talk about anything like this he always associates it back to my mum. I think it's because of my mum I find it almost impossible to talk about this sort of thing and the thought of discussing it with a doctor terrifies me.



Don't know what I'm looking for, maybe it has helped to write it down image

Replies

  • Definitely sounds like there is something up. I think you should make another appointment with your GP and talk to them. There could be a number of things contributing to how you are feeling both physically and mentally, it doesn't necessarily have to be due to depression. So please go back to your doctor and get their opinion so you can start to get this resolved and get back to your happy self. Big hugs xx
  • You poor thing, am so sorry you're going through this.



    Apologies for the short reply but didnt want to read and run. I really think you need to go back to the doctors as soon as possible and talk about it. As you said, you know what you're feeling is not normal, and you know you dont want to feel like this anymore.



    I know it must seem very daunting and so hard to face but try to view going back to the doctors and talking about it as something very very positive. They will help diagnose what is wrong, mentally or physically, and it is the start of the journey that will get you back to normal and enable you to enjoy your family.



    Good luck, let us know how you get on, xxx
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