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when labour starts

just wondering what people plan regarding letting family and friends know. i have decided not to tell anyone untill my LO's out, however i have recieved neg feedback from people who want to know when i go into hospital.

am i the only person who doesn't want people knowing as soon as labour starts?????


  • Alot of people don't want everyone to know when labour starts so don't feel like you're alone in this decision. It's a personal decision, and one only you can make. It's you having the baby, not everybody else. It's something I think everybody forgets when you're pregnant.

    I think my advice would be, if you are certain that's what you are going to do, make sure everyone knows so no one feels like it's just them being left out and stick to it. If they get upset then that's something they will just have to deal with. And once baby is here, everyone will be so happy and excited about meeting the little one that they will probably just forget you never told them anyway.

    Hope you get it your way sweet.

    Ellie xxx
  • Hi, I'm kind of the same - would prefer just to let people know once baby has actually arrived as I might either be in labour for absolutely ages (and I can just imagine MIL trying to phone for updates!) or I could go to hospital and it could be a false alarm and be sent home.

    I guess it depends how it all happens though as ideally I'll go into labour at home and spend some time here before going to hospital for the final stages. If that happens I think I'll find it difficult to stop my husband telling close relatives that I'm having contractions etc. If that's what you want then it doesn't matter what others think though, you'll just need to be clear with your birth partner who/when they can tell! xxx
  • The only person we told when I was in labour was my mum and that was only cos she was looking after the dog.

    When I told people that I wasnt going to let them know until baby was here I did get some negative and sometimes quite nasty comments. I just explained that this was a special time for me and hubby and we wanted to be able to enjoy it together on our own as we bought the newest member of our family into the world. We didnt want to feel like we had to keep updating people on progress or have people calling hubby all the time to see how I was doing.

    My mum kept to her word and managed to dodge all the bullets of people calling her and we got to tell everybody ourselves that Finley was here once we had enjoyed being together as a three and were ready to let other people into our little bubble.

    Although people were negative to begin with they soon came round and alot of them said that it was actually really nice when they found out Finley was here.

    Sorry I have gone on but in answer to your question, no you are not the only one who feels this way and you are the one that has to do all the hard work so I would do what will make you happy
  • thanks guys, i feel soooo much better now. was beginning to feel really mean.

    just want to focus on meeting my little guy now, can't wait image
  • We didn't tell anyone, that wasn't what we had planned but my waters went at 37+5 and we didn't know whether we would be admitted or sent home or induced etc. She arrived at 38 weeks after a very short time actually having contractions we just didn't really think about calling people. My mum and sister were a bit disappointed but it was late, I was hardly going to wake them up even if I had thought of it to say hey think the baby might be coming! Good luck xx
  • As the old saying goes, 'a watched pot never boils!'

    I think I'd prefer to tell people after, I wouldn't want the added pressure of knowing that everyone is waiting expectantly...
  • The only person who knew was my mum and to be honest i wished that she didnt because my husband was getting constant texts from her! We waited until after the birth to let the others know and we only allowed family to come and visit at the hospital after x
  • i rang my mum as she needed to drive (600 miles) to make it lol

    my parents in law knew as they were our lift to the hosp, so they are the only ones who knew

  • When I had DD the only one I told when labour started was my DH (my birthing partner) and the only exception this time around will be my mum or sister who shall be looking after DD (depending on when it happens depends on who gets the call). My 1st labour was long so having not told anyone prevented all the phone texts of 'Is it here yet?' and 'Well? What is it?'
  • It's entire up to you if you want to tell anyone about being in labour. It could be a rather lengthy process (mine was 27hours over 2 nights). Plus people might bother you to find out how you are getting on (might be great distraction in early labour but wears a bit thin when you are busy squeezing another person out of your body or the birth doesn't go as planned).

    We hadn't planned on telling anyone about me being in labour - despite my FIL asking to be notified (I think not as throughout the entire pregnancy he was worried that something would go wrong...he has his reasons but still... no need to make the man worry any further!). I told my sister (who was also pregnant at the time) that I was having a sweep with the midwife. My contractions started that night. My mum phoned me the following day as my sister had told her about the sweep. I was just on my mobile to the hospital to see if we could come in as I'd been in labour for almost 20hours and wanted to make sure we were getting somewhere! Anyway, she really wasn't the sort of person I wanted to talk to whilst in labour as she always described having a baby as no worse than having been constipated and finally going for a poo - and there is no need to make a fuss!! Luckily I managed to breathe through my contractions so I didn't get critisized by her :P Really didn't feel like having an extended chat though...

    Our son was born that night at 2am after about 6hours in hospital.

    We sent everyone a text the next morning (at a more sociable hour of 7am) and that was good enough!

    When we have our 2nd baby we will obviously have to let someone know as they will need to look after our son, but that'll be different...

  • ideally id also only let people know once baby has arrived but i reckon well be telling our parents when we head to the hospital. i usually phone my mom some time during the morning for a quick chat and shed figure it out or get really concerned if i didnt answer my phone for hours on end. same with my husbands mother (they sound a lot worse than they are lol!). however we will ask them to keep their mouths shut and our phones will be switched off anyways until we are ready to make the oh so exciting phone call image ive also asked my friends to not ask about news at any time, we will let them know.

    a friend of hubbys actually had the mother and sister in law already be at the hospital waiting by the time he made the call to tell them the baby was here. i told my parents that if they did that theyd be in trouble.
  • I didnt want to tell anyone either but my mum and MIL got quite upset at the thought of not knowing. I have decided to compromise and promised that I will tell them once I have been admited to hospital and my labour is established. They, in return, have had to promise that they wont tell anyone or text me and hubby constantly! xx
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