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Have you told anyone that you're LTTC? Has it helped?

Hi everyone, I hope you can help!

Hubs and I have been ttc for a year now and are due to be seen at a fertility clinic in August as I don't ovulate (so no chance of natural pg). I've been feeling really gloomy about it all- and I know that you will all recognise the feeling of 'putting on a show' at work and then shutting yourself away to let it all out. So difficult.

I decided to tell my Mum what was going on as I know that her and Dad were starting to wonder and I knew I couldn't take jokes about 'the pitter patter of tiny feet'. She was incredibly supportive and kind, and I feel less lonely now that someone else knows what we're going through. I wondered whether any of you have experience of telling people about what you're going through. I suspect I will have to in September as I'll probably be having lots of blood tests again- very difficult to explain away! I know there are lots of pros and cons on both sides, but at the moment I haven't even told my closest friends (just my parents and my boss so that I could get all the time off for all the tests etc). Has any one else found it helpful to tell more people- or do you have experiences of why it's best not to tell?

Any advice very gratefully recieved! xx


  • Heya hun

    Well personally I find it good that people know iv not actually told people but they know as had mc last year and prob just guess I'm still trying. Now though really most people know iv been on clonus and we are having trouble conceiving and it defi helps me. My mum, in laws, all my friends and hubby's know some family members too. I sometimes do feel people r just waiting anticipating me to announce I'm pg... But as my hubby said it is the world to us but other people wont b waiting for me to get pg. But on the other hand when I do get pg I know people will b genuinely over the moon and think my baby will b truly spooky as people know how long its taken.

    I think it depends on u hun, like u said it means u dont always have to have a face on for people n I think u could feel better for it.

    X x x
  • Hey mrsH. I'm the same, as in no ovulation, and about a year ahead of you (but still no progress. Sigh).

    I suppose I'm a bit odd, but pretty much all my friends know what's going on- I get rung regularly asking how appointments or the drugs are going! I've a tendency to drone on about ttc when drunk, so I don't think I had much choice but to tell! I haven't told my parents or his. His because they're mad and I guarantee would never leave me alone - she would be sending me all sorts of snake oil! Mine because my mum has always been desperate I don't throw my career away, and although I'm 30, I think she's only just getting her head around me being married!

    I'm so glad I've told my friends. I was at a baby shower last week and it was so nice to have people know what's happening- I actually had a good time rather than being jealous!

  • Hi MrsH,

    I am a bit particular with telling people. I didn't want pity from some of my friends and family who get pregnant at the drop of a hat. Its amazing how many people will tell you that when you talk about m/c and ltttc! "Oh, you poor thing, I only have to look at my husband and I get pregnant". So I choose not to tell people like that.

    Unfortunately, my mum told my sister, which I wasn't too happy about. But I do have a few friends who know whats going on, and my boss at work has been through IVF, so is very supportive. I'm sure it helps having a few people who you can talk to.

  • Thank you Ladies- it's a tough call isn't it? I'm thinking that once we've had our appointment at FC I might tell a few more people- by then at least I should have more of an idea about what's happening next. Faye, I do really like the idea of knowing that people are supporting you and I know you're right; as sure as you can give them your happy news they will all be totally over the moon for you- and understand how a baby is totally everything to us!

    Pumpkin, interesting to hear that you don't ovulate either- I didn't know it was possible to have AF but not to ovulate- still don't quite understand. If you don't mind me asking, what sort of treatment have they tried you on? Our GP said that Clomid is likely for me, but I don't know how long it will be until I start.

    Windy, the reasons you've mentioned are exactly what I'm worried about. I do not want to be pitied- and also I don't see how people who haven't been through this can possibly understand... I am also REALLY struggling with those annoying people who get pg within a month or two... Coincidently, my boss at work has also been amazing because she has gone through IVF!

    Thank you all for your comments- so helpful and always! xxx
  • MrsH3 I've told my mum, MIL, SIL and my best friend but that's it. You're so lucky to have an understanding boss, I could never tell mine I don't think he's even fussed on women!

    I blurted out on the weekend to my Mum that we're got an appointment this week with the doctor to get the first tests done. A part of me wishes I had never said anything now but I'm finding it hard going and I know my Mum will understand as she had trouble having me.

    Pumpkin-81 I'm the same, I tend to keep everything bottled up and then when I have a few glasses of wine it all comes out and I tend to drone on too!

    My MIL keeps saying that she reckons I'll be pregnant by Xmas, I hope she's right. Hopefully we'll get a few more answers when we go to the doctor's and find out if anything is wrong xx
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