Baby number2 or wait?

Vickymoo · Jul 14, 2011 4:34AM

***also posted in Planning For A Baby***

Hi ladies

Just need your opinion really. I already have a little girl who will be 2 in a few weeks and we're trying to decide when is best to have another baby.

I'm very apprehensive about trying again for one main reason. My daughter was very difficult from being born up to the age of 9-12 months. A typical day with her would include hours and hours of endless screaming for no reason. When i say hours i mean from around 8am to at least 3pm...none stop.She didn't have colic or any medical problems at all (she was tested by the hospital after i grew very concerned) she was so bad that it almost tipped me over the edge and our marriage was very rocky for a long time.

She's fine now. Gorgeous, happy, playful but still likes throw a tantrum or too but this is obviousley putting me off having another baby.

We thought August would be a good time to try as she would be at least 3 when the baby was born and would understand what was going on much better and would also be in nursery by then.

Am i mad? Should i even have another baby? Everyone i speak to say no 2 babies are the same and the chances of me having another one like DD would be very slim but the thought of it happening again is terrifying me. My family are so happy at the moment. Would i be silly to disrupt that?

Sorry for the waffling. I would greatly appreciate your advice! xxx

Cas1980 · Jun 2, 2011 8:30AM

oh bless you, I have the opposite problem in that, my lo (who was 2 in march) was pretty good and i'm worried that my next one (I'm 6 weeks pregnant!) will be a nightmare. That's what happened with me and my younger brother, my parents always say if they'd had him first they wouldn't have had another.

There is a chance that it may happen but there is also a chance that the next baby will be more peaceful, plus you'll be more experienced and calmer!

At the end of the day it's yours, and your partners decision. But don't put off having another child, if thats what you really want, because of past problems which may not happen!

Vickymoo · Jun 2, 2011 9:44AM

I forgot to mention on my other post that my father died when i was 30 weeks pregnant and becuase i was pregnant i "wasn't allowed to grieve. Think of the baby" so during the awful 5-7 hours of screaming each day i was also grieving.

Those days are so dark i hate to even think about them but as you said even if it did happen again, i've been through it so i should hopefully handle it better.

Your totally right. I'll never know until i go for it. I could miss out on the having the most perfect little angel in the world. If i do get the screamer at least i know it'll be over in 9-12 months. Ha ha ha

Thanks, this has really made me look at things in a different light.

xxxxxx

s-evans · Jun 3, 2011 7:49AM

You never know how long it will take you to get pregnant, particularly as you get older.

shockedmummy · Jun 4, 2011 3:41AM

hi there,

i am sorry to hear of the loss of your father, i was just wondering if your baby had picked up on your feelings and without realising it, your fragile state was having an impact on both of you? i was very laid back and so was my ds and the midwives all commented that he was that way because my and OH were both very chilled, my friend has just had a baby and she is a control freak who is finding it very stressful= her dd is not a very chilled baby-screams a lot and isnt a great sleeper...i just wondered if the 2 could be related....in which case, im sure if you decide to go for number 2 then you will be a lot calmer, will not have a huge trauma to deal with the whole experience will be very different, i wish you lots of luck for the future you decide for your little family ! x

KazzieM · Jun 4, 2011 7:28AM

Hi, I'm currently on no.2 though when DD was born I was swearing blind she'd be our last (the labour lasted 49hrs and ended with me having a 3rd degree tear). We've had our ups and downs with DD, she's always taken time to settle to sleep, she's a fussy eater and she's always after playing with household objects over her toys. I do wonder what it'll be like come Sept when we suddenly have another around, how they'll behave and how DD will react to being a big sis. Sadly we won't know until it happens and whilst I can speculate on all experiences had by others in the family, no two give the same response when asked. If you want more children, there will never be a right or wrong time to have them (our will be 21mths apart, my sister had hers 7yrs apart). Who knows your DD may be the model big sister helping out with small favours. Best wishes with whatever you decide.

LisaD · Jul 14, 2011 4:34AM

Hi, I would say go for it, like s-evans say you dont know how long it is going to take to get pregnant etc etc. I have a little boy who is 2 in a couple of weeks. I've had 2 m/c since him so my plans have gone to pot!! Sorry I've not said this to make this a miserable post just wanted to say go for it, you will manage! Good luck xxx

Baby number2 or wait?

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